I agree you should visit with your physician re meds, I have heard good things about Cymbalta and Lexapro. Cymbalta is believed to have a better outcome in controlling anxiety...........but that is only my opinion and I am not a physician.
the valium can be upped for special occasions, its still working but you no longer get the sedation
maybe get back on the effexor at a higher dose and see if it works again, it often does, if not, then experiment with others, IMO the newer ADs arent much or any better than the older ones
best to learn CBT and new anxiety reducing skills, and not just rely on meds
insist on a thorough check up from doc re your other problems, they may be from the stress because you fight and dont float, but there could be other causes
get someone to massage you, books on how to home massage tell how to
spa baths, hot tubs, and jacuzzis also heklp to relax the body
whatever relaxes the body also relaxes the mind