conflict between the 2 types of sufferers

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harry4
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Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 6/16/2007 1:23 PM (GMT -6)   
the general feeling in the panic disorder and agoraphobia self help community is that there are basicly 2 types of sufferers, those who want to get better and those who dont. I agree with this after many years of experience and talking with hundreds of panic attack/ agoraphobia sufferers, some for periods of 15 years
 
this means there will always be the problem of offending those who dont want to get better when challenging or encouraging those who do or might want to get better. eyes
 
to those who are offended by my posts, I appologise, but we are here on earth only the 1 time......
 
an often made suggestion is to have 2 boards, one for those wanting to recover and another for those looking for sympathy and a more easier lifestyle that doesnt include recovery.those controlling  this board might consider this
 
some reasons for not wanting to recover are:
 
whole life , work, partner and friends have  been shaped by avoidance of panicky situations
 
had it so long that recovery would mean a loss of my personality, who would I become?
 
loss of financial security, pension, disability and the perhaps need to go out and work
 
family may only be staying with me out of sympathy and if I recover they may leave
 
the agoraphobia is wrapped around the sufferer like a cloak that protects from a world that can be cruel and harsh
 
the panicky feeling in body and mind can be  enjoyable and addictive, the adrenalin rush is identical to that got by people who parachute jump, bungee jump, ski downhill very fast, drive cars dangerously fast, white water rafting etc
ordinary  people have to pay lots of money but the panic attack sufferer gets it all for free and maybe doesnt even have to leave home
 
all the above is part of the overall agoraphobia experience or scene and most health professionals dont know it because those who dont want to get better often never seek medical help, or dont mention their agoraphobia when seeing their doctors
 
So again I apologise to those I offend, but as long as all sufferers are on the one board, its going to happen.
 
one sufferer became a friend of mine and I agressively challenged her to make an effort to get better, she had all the meds and several self help books which she had memorised. deeply offended, she saw several psychologists until eventually one told her that my version of agoraphobia could be recovered from but hers couldnt
 
our friendship then resumed
 
Ive seen many completely recover, including those who had been housebound for years, these people put it all behind them and usually move to a new area to start a new life, they dont visit boards like this one
 
Ive also recovered, after having it severely for 20 years and never getting an accurate diagnosis or helpful advice, I usually got schizophrenia meds which of course mad it worse. By posting on  boards  I am unusual
recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam


stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/16/2007 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey Harry,

I believe you have your right to your opinion however Healing Well is a "peer" run support group, and  members are discouraged from    attempting  to diagnosis anyone.

A member should  not  "tell" someone what to do in regards to their treatment.  We may, in a supportive manner, make suggestions or share experiences. Experiential knowledge or having "been there" can be invaluable in supporting others. You have a lot of good knowledge.

IMHO we are not here to judge who does or does not want to get well and if someone irritates you perhaps the best thing would be to just not reply to their posts rather than posting something that could offend them.

You are a devoted member and we are all here for each other.

Your postings reflect your experience.  Each person is different and who would assume to judge who is enjoying a mental illness?

Thank you.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Post Edited (stkitt) : 6/16/2007 4:42:37 PM (GMT-6)


happypills
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 83
   Posted 6/16/2007 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't have any opinions or anything to say.  But as usual, Harry, that was an interesting read.  Keep posting.

Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 6/16/2007 7:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Pleasure is the last thing I think of when I'm having a panic attack. To live a normal life without them would be my choice.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/17/2007 4:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Harry........
I dont believe that we can or need to separate these into catergories at all

Yes you have made it with alot of hard work and now ppl are also trying to accomplish the same thing that is why the support is needed and given as it is

Normally I do agree with you but I cannot on this we cannot judge someone else condition just by a few or couple of posts

Tk care
LYN


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 6/19/2007 10:09:02 AM (GMT-6)


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 6/17/2007 3:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Like Lyn, I see no need to segregate a group of people. I appreciate you have worked hard to get to where you are now, but not everyone can do this as easily as you make it sound. Segregation simply creates problems where there were none before.
 
I hope you can see where I am coming from
 
Darren
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janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 6/17/2007 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi All,
I do not "enjoy" anxiety at all! I get no RUSH from it. Actually it has made me think about that "forbidden" topic very seriously at times. But to be totally and completely honest, I suppose that although I'm not an agoraphobic (got close once), I did reach a point in life where I had to admit to myself that I did not want many those things that society tells us we're supposed to want...the idea of being tied to a workplace for 8-10 hours a day makes me depressed. I guess that if I had not had the bad experience when I was 17, I might've felt quite differently about it, but I'm not 17 anymore either. I do work though, helping mom with her cleaning jobs at night, so I'm not a completely lazy failure. I do often feel ashamed for my feelings though.
If I could make a magical wish, I'd be "normal". I would not still live with mom, I'd be independent, married to a nice man, and maybe have children. But still, I'd want to be a stay-at-home mom. I believe the biggest fear in life I have is being afraid of my mom's disapproval. Ones here and therapists have chastised me for this. I've just never been able to screw up the courage to tell my mom to back off. I pay dearly for my cowardice and I know it!
I can't say that I'm in love with my small disability check. If my mom were to die, I'd have to sell our old car, because I'd never be able to keep it gassed up, maintained, and insured. I live in public housing. I have to accept whatever medical help that medicaid will pay for. If I were to have certain medical problems, I'd just have to die because they won't cover everything. So I may end up paying for my cowardice with my life someday.
My bro-in-law once had the gall to hint that I AM able to work, but I won't because I just want to draw the disability check!!! My GAWD! If what he believes were to be true, I've given up a career making good money (yes, I am pretty intelligent), given up a life partner, children, travel to interesting places, and so on, just so I can draw a $623 a month check. Our rent is $540 a month which I pay as part of our bills (mom's and mine). Yes, I'm really living high on the hog!
Don't misunderstand, I am truly grateful for the assistance i get thru the gov't. I have a roof, medical care, and food. I'm blessed in that way cuz so many hardworking people don't have insurance, while I have medicaid and could get food stamps if my mom were to pass away. But it would be existing more than living. To an extent, it's that way now.
Anyhow, part of me is aware that I hide behind my disability, but the other part of me honestly feels helpless, despite what so many think. I agree with a lot of what Harry says, not all, but mostly I do.
I don't agree with having seperate boards. Who's to judge you or me? I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone here should have that right.
HUGS to ALL!
janet
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.
janet


freezinginAK
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 6/18/2007 1:32 AM (GMT -6)   

  I have to agree that two forums would be wrong, for I have fought this for so long and seeing others just trying to understand it is hard and quit scary and I can't even think of anyone wanting a rush from a P/A.

  For I have done many things in my life that have given me a rush that I liked but this is not one that I find pleasure with and I'm fighting back to regain a part of my life and it's working

  Cowboy up


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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/18/2007 8:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Keep fighting my friend
It will get you where you want to go
Believe me .....

Luvs ya

Lyn
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Moderator .......A/P Forum
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DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
Take my Hand ...I will WALK with you
 
When the GOING gets TOUGH..The TOUGH get GOING 
 
 God Bless All
 
LYN    
                                  


tangerine bear
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 941
   Posted 6/18/2007 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
I have found that my tendency towards agoraphobia is something I have to fight every day. Sometimes I slip back into my "hiding" mode, but that is usually in times of severe stress and depression. Like any ongoing "battle", sometimes you feel like giving up and start to slide back into the "comfort zone", but I don't think that means we don't want to recover, or prefer to be agoraphobic.

Bear
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jerseycherries
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 178
   Posted 6/18/2007 12:27 PM (GMT -6)   
i am agoraphobic. and for the past three months i have hated myself for not being able to go and do want i once could. you come across as mean sometimes. to say that people enjoy being miserable is harsh in my opinion. people want help and want to live. they're just too scare to get it sometimes. and thats where this board comes into play. we get the support we need. and are able to muster stength to go to the doctor and get help. find resources to get help. find friends here and get suport. i'm glad you recovered. but it wasnt over night. and you have to allow others their ups and downs with this disease. its hard and can be very strong. people want to be "normal" and be out living. i have not enjoyed being in my house like so hermit these past few months (which this is my second go round with agoraphobia) anytime i get out i know how important it is and i am happy about that. i dont want to be like this for the rest of my life. it is not enjoyable. people want help sometimes they just dont know where to go or how to go about getting it.
I am bipolar, have social anxiety, panic attacks w/agoraphobia , diabetes, asthma and high blood pressure. Life is short but i am not.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/18/2007 7:03 PM (GMT -6)   

To everyone of you, congratulations on how you are working on your own particular issues.  No one wants to have a mental illness and there will be only one board for all of us as long as I have a vote in the matter.

We will have good times and bad and yes it is very scary to get thru to the other side.  What is well for one is different for another.

Everyday you each make decisions and you make strides. We are here to support everyone and no one would choose to be in a pit. That is not a high, that is a low. I consider myself well right now but I can have a bad day, and that is my life, I accept that and in no way do I judge others on how they choose to work on their healing.

Mental illness is something we have, like diabetes, or arthritis.  It won't just disappear forever, but you learn how to live with it and advocate for people to accept mental illness as a illness.

OK, off my soap box............I am passionate about this illness and hid my own problems from others for years, no more.  I have depression and anxiety and that is who I am. 

I care deeply for each of you......you are my peers and my friends.

Amen  "as she steps down from soap box"  yeah


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Post Edited (stkitt) : 6/19/2007 6:34:32 PM (GMT-6)


jerseycherries
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 178
   Posted 6/18/2007 8:12 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you kitt for your kindness and caring. you can hop on that soap box any old time you want to. you lift people up and brighten our days. we love you too. and you too lyn.
I am bipolar, have social anxiety, panic attacks w/agoraphobia , diabetes, asthma and high blood pressure. Life is short but i am not.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/19/2007 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
AWWWWWW thanks Jerseycherries
You too are needed and loved here ..........


I too am what I am lil sis ..........says Popeye the sailor man ........toot toot
LOVES
Big sis
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Moderator .......A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
Take my Hand ...I will WALK with you
 
When the GOING gets TOUGH..The TOUGH get GOING 
 
 God Bless All
 
LYN    
                                  


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/19/2007 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Thank you jersey, that was very sweet of you. I love this forum and I am beginning to get to know each of you. You all have my respect.

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

 

Lyn, Big Sis.

You never amaze to astound me with your kindness and I hope you know how all of us love you dearly.

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah   tada!

Lil Sis


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/20/2007 5:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Am so sorry the phone call was interrupted
Howie calls to talk to cait nightly I will call a bit later tonight lil sis kk

Thanks I love all here too

YOU are loved just as much so ......ta da to you too .........

I too am glad this thread went the way it did not ugly ya know
That just shows our ap..ers are classy and the BEST......

Luvs ya Big sis
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Co Mod ..Crohns Forum
Moderator .......A/P Forum
Moderator ....Alzheimers Forum 
 
DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
Take my Hand ...I will WALK with you
 
When the GOING gets TOUGH..The TOUGH get GOING 
 
 God Bless All
 
LYN    
                                  

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