Asking for some compassion or something...

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TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/24/2007 4:33 PM (GMT -6)   
As most of you know, my doctor appointment is TUesday.  As each day passes, and Tuesday grows closer, I become more scared.  It is about a 10 minute drive down the road, so that is scaring me some.  It is also scaring me that he is going to tell me something is seriously wrong.  I am becoming terrified.  Today, I burst into tears for no reason at all.  I don't want to sleep at night, and I dont' want to wake up. 
 
I know I need to go to the doctor, and in some ways, I am looking forward to it, but because of my fear, I am starting to really freak out here.  Tuesday seems to be coming too fast.    I lashed out at my boyfriend this morning for no reason, and then just balled my eyes out.  He understands, but I am mad at me.
 
I feel like all my symptoms are getting worse too.  It feels hard to breath all day long, and my chest is more sore than ever.  I am freaking out here.  This sucks.  I hate this.  I hate fear.  And, I am beyond a little nervous...I AM TERRIFIED!!! 
 
Maybe I sound like a baby right now.  I feel like a baby...as I have been crying nearly all day.  Tuesday is scaring me.  I keep wondering if I have the big "C" and maybe that is why I can't breath.  Well, I can breathe, but it is just like when I use to smoke, I have to take a big breath once in a while.  I keep thinking my heart is going bad and that is why my chest is sore.  My anxiety is getting huge, and my health anxiety is OUT OF CONTROL.  I am scared...
 
Can anyone tell me what the heck to expect when visiting this doctor.  I am dealing with anxiety, sore chest, having to take a deep breath more often than I feel I should.  WHat should I expect here?
 
Sorry to go on and on, but I feel like Tuesday is going to be like the beginning of the end or somethign.  Am I crazy?  Yea, maybe I am.  Ugh, I feel like I am writing in my own personal journal, since I am answering myself and stuff.
 
Ugh.  On another topic...I hope everyone had a good weekend!  Thank you to anyone who offers suggestions here...
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/24/2007 5:09 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello Tammy,

I hope you will be able to try some of these suggestions to decrease your anxiety now. OK?

First of all I do not believe that you have Cancer and I am sure that your Doctor will verify this.

I do believe that your anxiety level is rising because you are anticipating the worse to happen at the clinic. Now what is the worse that could happen..you cry, you need a minute to get yourself together.  This happens to many people in fact I have done it.  The Doctor walks into exam room and asks whats  going on with you ? I burst into tears and usually say something like I am just crazy.  Then he calmly starts talking to me wanting to know why I feel that way.  Here is where you get to tell him or her what you have been going through.

Write down a few notes to take with you so you don't get home and go "shoot, I forgot to ask------"

After talking to you the Dr. will probably have you sit on exam table and do a brief exam and continue to ask more questions.  He will listen to your lungs, and to your heart.  He will look in your ears  and your throat.

The nurse will probably already have done your BP, Pulse and temperature.  It is a very painless exam.

Your scared, yes and that is normal, but now I would like you to try to stay in the moment. Don't anticipate what will happen or try to guess which dreaded disease you may have.  Let that wait until your appointment.

Today enjoy what is happening, plan something fun and if your Drs. appointment pops into your head let it go on through and stay in the moment. Don't worry that you have to face the appointment today.

It is a waste of your energy and will just snowball out of control.

Can you trust that you will do fine?  I believe in you and trust you will be just a normal clinic patient coming to see your physician for an exam and advice.

Gentle hugs to you and deep breaths..................(((((HUGS)))))))))


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


harry4
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 6/24/2007 5:12 PM (GMT -6)   

it would help if you paid less attention to your body, I dont know what the cause is but it may all be from stress, worry and anxiety

take a list of things to tell doc and questions to ask him

remember that valium relaxes the mind and the body


recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
emails are welcome but do mention healingwell to avoid risk of deletion as spam


Sunshine1108
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 268
   Posted 6/24/2007 5:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Tammy please try to calm yourself down!  I know how nervous you are.  You will be FINE!
 
You had a bad day now let it go.  Don't keep dweeling on it!
 
I highly doubt you have anything life threatening going on with you.  It is so easy to think of the worse, especially when your in a state of panic.   I know because I did the same thing. 
 
I had the same symptons as you.  When my anxiety was at an all time high, I could not breath.  All day, everyday, I was short of breath.  I could not yawn or even sneeze the proper way!  I was always trying to take a deep breath. 
 
A hot shower or bath can be relaxing especially before bedtime.  I do that sometimes and it helps me fall asleep. 
 
Hang in there sweetie, your Dr. visit will come and go quickly.  Everything will work out for you!
 
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
 
Mary

jerseycherries
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 178
   Posted 6/24/2007 6:02 PM (GMT -6)   
tammy i do the same thing. feel the same way. and i dont have cancer. my counselor told me to take three deep slow breathes in through the nose and out through the mouth at least three times a day. needed or not. and then anytime you feel the anxiety floating in. it seems to be helping me. i focus on something when i do it like on of my puppies or hubby or i just close my eyes. try it it might help you. just a thought. and i agree with kitt. very good advice there too. very rational. especially when its so hard to be rational.
I am bipolar, have social anxiety, panic attacks w/agoraphobia , diabetes, asthma and high blood pressure. Life is short but i am not.


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/24/2007 6:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I want to thank everybody for you kind words and advice! Kitt, you took a lot of time to tell me what to expect, and I appriciate that so much. My nerves are a wreck, and as usual, your words helped to calm me!

Harry, thank you for the reply, and I am trying my best to pay less attention to my body...boy is that hard to do!!!

And Mary, thank you too. It was comforting to hear that you also couldn't breath all day everyday when your anxiety was high. THat just makes me feel a lot better to know that anxiety could seriously be the cause of everything I am feeling.

Anxiety is horrible, and scary, and I am tired of it. THat iw why I am going to the doctor finally. Agoraphobia or not, I will be there!!!

Thank you all for the advice! I will update you Tuesday evening as to waht the doctor says. My appointment is at 4:30 p.m. and I am in Ohio. I will also probably be back with more before then...hope no one minds.

Now, I am going to go outside for a few minutes. My bf is washing the windows on his car, and I could use the fresh air.

Thanks again...EVERYONE!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/24/2007 6:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks a bunch Tina! As alwys, I appricaite your kind words too. You and I need to chat again...maybe tomorrow. I am missing you right now, as we haven't had a chat in a while!!!

Thanks for the thoughts hun!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


happypills
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 83
   Posted 6/24/2007 8:17 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey Tammy,

I know exactly what you are going through being the nutty hypochondriac that I am.  Everyone is giving you good advice and I would suggest the same.  It will be okay.  I will pray for you and be thinking about you.  Let us know what happens.

As Bob Marley would say...

 Don't worry about a thing, cos every little thing gonna be alright!!!                        

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/24/2007 8:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much happypills! I appriciate your prayers...and will FOR SURE give details the moment I get home Tuesday!!!

Thanks for all the support!

And, I LOVE the dancers!!! I will save mine for Tuesday!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


septembergirl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/25/2007 8:00 AM (GMT -6)   

 Tammy,

I understand your feelings and fears.  I was convinced (thanks to Google) that I had cancer and/or other terminal conditions and went to the doctor with a legal size piece of paper filled with my "symptoms".  I had recently had a full physical and all blood work, x-rays, ekg, whatever was normal...good in fact.  But, I was sure that they must have missed something.  I was so anxietal when I went to the appt., that when the nurse checked my blood pressure, it was way high.  My doctor gave me a piece of paper that explained all about anxiety and panic and it had a long list of "symptoms".  Of course, it described me to a T.  Once I began to truly believe THAT is what was wrong with me, I was able to begin a course or way of treating it.  Medication really helped for me personally, but meditiation and prayer help keep my mind on positive things.  I still "fight" the negative thoughts and fears that plague me, but I am more able (with the help of the meds and counseling) to kick those horrible thoughts out of my head.  Awfulizing is my enemy, but I will fight it to the end.  Goodness and happiness WILL WIN THE BATTLE.  I'm sorry if I seem to have been babbling...I just really felt for you when I read your post and wanted to share.  I believe that your appointment is going to be positive, you will find that you are HEALTHY and you will begin a road to recovery.  Hang in there and I will be praying for you.

septembergirl


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/25/2007 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   

Tammy

Good Vibes coming your way. Stay in the moment and just know you are going to do well. 

Post to us for support.  We are all here for you.

yeah ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/25/2007 9:01 AM (GMT -6)   
September and Kitt, thanks to you both for the support! I woke up today feeling sad. My appointment is scaring me. I know it will be ok in the end, but still, working up to going is scary. I am trying not to think about it at all, but sadly, I cannot help it. I want tomorrow to come fast, just to get it over with, but in some ways, I want tomorrow to not come too quickly. I guess getting it over with would be better.

Ugh. I appriciate you all listening tome and helping me! I truly do. I am so thankful that I found this board. Thanks for all the love and support!!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


septembergirl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/25/2007 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I walk in the mornings after I have a cup of coffee. That's when I do my praying and I said a special one for Tammy in Ohio.:) I'm originally from northern Indiana and have a lot of family in Ohio, so I am a midwestern girl at heart! I'm going to pray for you tomorrow when I walk, too.

TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/25/2007 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you kindly for your prayers September...that means a lot to me!!!

:)
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 6/25/2007 2:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I am thinking of you girlie!!! You're gonna be just fine - anticipation STINKS!!!!!!

Liz
:) Liz
 
We WILL get by with a little help from our friends!!!


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/25/2007 2:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Anticipation does stink...and these past few days have been horrible. I hate to think of what tomorrow brings. Will I be nervous up til the appointment...or what? UGH. Thanks for thinking of me though!!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


Licho
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 6/25/2007 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Take care, it'll be all OK. yeah

TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/25/2007 2:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks a million Licho!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


damon39
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 6/25/2007 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Tammy,
          I wish you the best of luck at your Drs. appt. I really want you to concentrate on anticipating good news rather than bad news.Who knows the doc could put all your fears to rest and you could walk out of his office a new woman! You are missing all the good things in life by dwelling on the negative.I personally dont believe you have cancer. I think you just have anxiety. Anxiety can controlled by changing your thinking habits, breathing habits, and relaxtion techniques. I found that journaling helps alot. Its good to clean your system by writing some of your thoughts and fears down. Whats wierd is when you look at them later and say to yourself Did I think like that? You will be fine on your way to the Dr. You will be fine on your way home from the Dr. While you are out go buy yourself something. Reward youself for being brave. You dont have to spend alot. A simple ice cream or something you crave will do.Anyway I wont rattle on. If you get nervous  distract yourself by staying in the now. Focus on the people and things around you. You will be fine. I promise. You have alot of living to do! My grandmother always said  we are here for only so many days. Each one is precoius so make the most out of it. You sound like a strong person and I think you will recover from this real soon. Your in my prayers. Keep us posted..........Miles

TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 6/26/2007 9:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Miles, thank you so much for your kind and comforting words. The clock is ticking til my appointment, and I am getting nervous, but I will think of my healingwell friends, and of course, I will have my boyfriend, and everything will be alright!

Thanks again for your words. They meant a lot to me!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/26/2007 11:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Sweetie
Am so sorry I wasnt on yesterday I had to get everything ready for Caits Big Grad

Please know it will be okay

BREATHE hun please and YES take a list so you dont forget anything at ALL

PLease post as soon as you can

I am sure it is anxiety hun

We are all here for you as you can see

Luvs
LYN
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