Ibs, fibro, migraines, depression, anxiety, PTSD, GERD, past endometriosis; C-section, Choley, Liver resection, Total Hysterectomy; Cymbalta, Fentanly patch, Mobic, and Vivelle patch + PRN = Oxycodone, Phenergan, Mobic, Xanax and others.
Wow, I am so sorry.
When I finished my first thought was ??bipolar. She has many mood swings.
I would almost suggest she needs an inpatient stay if there is a good program available. How does she do in the work enviornment?
How about her friends and siblings, does she have probems with them too, or just her disrespect for you and all you do for her? If her disease is causing her behavior then she needs therapy and meds IMHO. If she is being disrespectful because she can get away with it, then you need to tell her straight up that her behavior is unexceptable and you will not tolerate it anymore.
Wish there was more I could offer right now, but you certainly are doing more than your share and you are obvously a loving and caring parent.
Don't lose wo you are in the middle of all this, it is not your fault.
I actually have a good deal of experience with this type of behavior (just finished four years in social work), but unfortunately I have to get up in five hours and so I need to sleep. But the gist of my advice is this: you said, "I have told her to leave, and she says she is, but then she gets upset and decides she can do better. She has moved out over the last few years 3 different times at least and ended up coming back home."
It is your decision to let her come back home. Of course, she is your daughter, but I have to agree that a little tough love is in order. You have to set some FIRM boundaries. If you tell her she can't come home, she can't come home. I don't care if she whines or moans about it for six months. I don't care if you're positively weeping because you miss her so much; once you set that boundary, you cannot break it. What you may do is have an intervention with her and say that she can stay with you if certain conditions are met. You would write them down in black and white. She and you both sign this "contract." If the conditions are not met, she's out. That's it.
Like I said, I have more ideas on the subject but I'll have to get back to you on those! I really wish you the best of luck. I can tell you are frustrated and have every reason to be!
Well I have seen some great advice but I realize that tough love is hard. It will hurt you more than her I suspect.
I don't remember if I read anywhere that she is in therapy for her mental health issues. Also, I would like to see her reevaluate by a psychiatrist for a diagnosis.
She started out dating at a very young age and she has become acclimated to the attention but her maturity for the kinds of situations she went through was lacking.
Keep posting. (((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
EDITED for content
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 7/8/2007 9:54:25 AM (GMT-6)
I was glad to hear your daughter has found a place to rent and she just needs a second job. Meanwhile perhaps she will stay with her friends.
Friends won't stick by you long if you treat them as your daughter is behaving toward you. I am glad you are having some peace. It is hard to be firm, but it is the right thing to do, IMHO.
I know if she was in a true emergency you would be right there for her.
That was very good.................thank you for posting that. Something all parents should read and consider.
Kudos to you.
There is a perfect balance - somewhere - of letting your child know that s/he is the most important person in your life and you value his/her life more than your own, and putting your foot down to keep their best interests at heart. We know you would do anything for your child. Writing a very specific contract and sticking to it no matter what will teach her several things; namely that when you say something, you mean it, which she will gain respect for if she hasn't already!
Best of luck, floss.