Well, I guess today I am feeling a bit irritated! I am very panicky today, and I think it is really from these ups and downs, and my current fear of my doctor not giving me anymore Xanax when I run out, which will be in 3 pills!
Yesterday, I was feeling AMAZING. I went to like 3 different stores...all of which were not near eachother, or even my house. I also went to my Mothers house, and sat outside while my boyfriend washed my car in her yard. All of those things are things I never, ever do. Especially all in one day. I felt great, I felt "NORMAL" and I was loving life. My boyfriend and I spent the evening together, just hanging out, without me being nervous, or feeling crappy. It was GREAT.
Today, I woke up with the tight chest, and and feeling like total crap. I took a Xanax shortly after I woke up, because I was on the verge of going into a panic attack, and I was alone. (My son wasn't even home.) I started to feel better shortly after taking the Xanax, but again, now a bit later, like almost 4 hours later, I am feeling crappy again. This is nothing like yesterday.
I was trying to keep myself off the Xanax because I fear I will not be able to get more soon, but it is too hard. When I need it, I need it. I am so angry that my doctor is threatening to take this security away from me.
I am so annoyed that I felt like a "real" person yesterday, and today, I am feeling like I am going crazy again.
When will the maddness end? When will I feel like me again, all the time, and not just sometimes? Like a day here and there...I feel normal, then I go back to crap. UGH. It is so frustrating.
Thank you for letting me vent guys. I hope everyone is doing well!!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off. Major health anxiety as well!
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now. I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
Best Wishes to all...Tammy