Welcome to Healing Well. We are glad you found this wonderful site.
First of all I did not get any indication that he has had a check up with his physician, I would push for that and let a professional make a diagnosis and perhaps he needs medication?
As for spouses, I know my husband gets really tired of living with someone who may melt, but he usually handles it well. When he gets angry or sullen with me, I really feel bad. I try to just withdraw and not bother him. That just makes me feel all alone.
I don't think you should try to keep a nice quiet space for him. Perhaps he can find his own quiet space to relax, do you have a den, office or someplace he can go to.
You cannot protect him 24/7 and this is putting a huge burden on you.
You can let him know you care. The hugs are good. You can understand if he has a panic attack that it is self limiting and try soothing him while he is having one.
You can understand that he is in pain when these attacks happen, no one wants to be like this. It is an illness and deserves the same understanding as diabetes or arthritis.
It sounds to me that he is very lucky to have you as his spouse and I admire you for advocating for him and for yourself.
You are obviously a strong and loving wife and Mother.
Please stay with us and keep posting.
Gentle hugs to you. :)
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”