Horrible thought stuck in my head, just horrible

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mikey v
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 7/24/2007 5:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I have had anxiety for the past 2 years and my worst fear for the longest time was the fear of going crazy, now a new fear has been programed into my brain, i have a fear of commiting suicide, now i think , well i hope this is all anxiety, i'm not very depressed , i go out and do alot of physical activities, i work, i hang out with friends, i have qiute a bit of fun. It all started from thinking of a very close relative who eneded there own life because of depression, i just could not stop thinking of her, i keep thinking that i will do the same. Now all thats on my mind is the the subject suicide, i don't want to die, i have not planned on doing it, the subject is just stuck in my head and it sort of is making me depressed, it just is something horrible to have in your head, i fear that from thinking of it soo much i might do it, can anyone tell me if i am suicidal?, or why i keep having the subject of it in my head..
I wake up in the morning and feel like doing stuff and i do!, i do every cool thing a 20 year old does, so i just am very confused why this thought is jammed in, i mean it can't be good to have this thought in my mind..
 
Any response would be awsome
 
thank you
 
mike
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
 
 
  **Mike I certainly do empathize with you and I will have numbers for you to call for some immediate help with this .......
I dont know why you are at this point in your life but I do feel that you should seek some outside help as well as continued support on this site
PLEASE do not ( or anyone else) think I am picking on you by editing and putting rule in .
   I AM NOT......        I am doing so for YOU ......the HW rules and for those that may be 13yrs old and up reading this post
Please email me and I will gladly talk to you more on this and my reasons as well as try to help you figure out what is going on.....stay with us you do need the caring and loving support HW and all the great ppl have to offer
 
God Bless
 
LYN

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 7/25/2007 11:48:27 AM (GMT-6)


LifeChange
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/24/2007 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
You are not suicidal, this is a symptom of OCD/anxiety/depression (I've read that a lot of the time someone can have a little of each, or a lot of one and a litle of another, etc). It's happened to me and many others. The reason the thought keeps coming into your mind is because you fear it.

This happened to me at the beginning of my anxiety attacks. I felt so bad that I was afraid of suicide and any time I saw a violent image or news about someone comitting suicide I would have a mini panic attack or something and it would give me so much fear and I would get depressed all over again.

The trick is to stop fearing it I guess. It's very hard to say that, because I know it isn't easy, but really, that is the way.

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 7/24/2007 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, it's not good to have in your mind, but anxiety sufferers rarely end their own lives. I've seen stats somewhere but can't remember where. It's rare, though, and there were probably other factors involved when these people did do that.

I'm not really an advocate for talk-therapy, but perhaps this is one instance where it could be valuable.

And, you know, when I was having lots and lots of panic attacks I often thought of suicide. It would play through my mind a lot, and I was also suffering a secondary depression since my life had been limited so much. But, like you, these were only thoughts that would come and go. I never seriously considered it. I worried that if things persisted and I never got any relief that I would get that way, but I don't think it would've ever happened. And my life was pretty rotten there for a while, too.

So I'd say talk to someone about it and see if you can't divert those thoughts into something else.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorder
anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/


freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 7/25/2007 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   

 Hi mikey v

 And welcome to HW

  First off I do not feel that you are suicidal but you may just be feeling the effects of your relative pasting on that way, as it tends to hurt many ppl around them and that you may just be going though a hard part in your life right now and being only 20 you are finding a whole new world ahead of you, with schooling/working for a living, paying your own bills and rent sometimes can be overwhelming but we all get though it, as will you.

  But as you said you have many friends to hang out with and are having fun with them, but not to dwell on the passing of your relative in that way but to remember them for who they are. I feel that we all have these kind of thoughts go though are minds from time to time but yet we are still here moving on with are lives and I feel that this to will pass for you.

  Yes anxiety can do many things to you, but sometimes you may need to just stop and think that it is just the anxiety in you making you feel that way.

   Keep posting and let us know how you are doing k

     Cowboy up

 


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  Happiness is sitting around a warm campfire with no worries or cares as day turns to night.
 
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H.I.P.
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/25/2007 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
I had the same exact thoughts.  Of course, because they were thoughts of harming myself, people automatically thought that I was suicidal.  Farthest thing from the truth.
I read several books on this, including IMP of the MIND and also the panic away/linden method guides. 
These thoughts are just an off shoot of anxiety. That is it, and nothing more.  Because you fear it so, it ruminates. 
This is what I did (PS:  I no longer have those thoughts).  I told them to come, actually embraced them. When they would start, I told them "Is that all you can come up with?" 
"You can't do any better than that?"
 
No kidding, eventually the brain moves onto something else. 
Do NOT let them have power over you.  They are nothing, just mental garbage.
Hoping this helps you!
Take Care, and God Bless.
-----------------------
Recovering from 8 years of panic/anxiety disorder.  Almost there! 
 
Shaky legs will still carry you.
Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/25/2007 11:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Mike

I have a the number here thanks to stateside Mod

USA....Suicide.....Crisis Hotline
PLEASE call and see if they will direct you to your local hotline .........
Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing .......

1 800 784 2433.......

I said before that I truly do understand that you are reaching out and we all would like to help you
Please do call this place and see if you can get some answers asap........and do keep us in the loop......

Take care and I hope you get some answers ..........
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/25/2007 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello,

I read your post and I am sorry you are feeling this way right now. I would like to see you work on your anxiety problems and you may be able to easily get rid of these thoughts that are plaguing you.

From the comments left by others, I feel the other members have shared some insight into their dealings with this same issue. That is good.

Please keep posting and stay with us.  It will get better with time and help.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


mikey v
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 7/25/2007 8:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone for your responses, i'm sorry to the forum moderator's for posting a topic like this, it won't ever happen again. My anxiety started from one huge anxiety attack that put me into depersonalization, every since that attack i have never been the same, i just can't stop worrying, my mind is always racing, my thoughts are out of wack, one time I even convinced myself that i was dying of cancer. it's horrible. What i have been doing for the past 2 years is eating heathy, working out, taking all my vitamins, cleanses, taking natural anti depressants like 5HTP and st johns wart and i think by doing that its making me feel alot better., but for the past couple of months I just have the same repeated thoughts in my head, i think it's ocd, anyways thats my story...thanks you all again

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/26/2007 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Dont apologise Mike it was how you were feeling
I felt bad having to edit but it is a rule

I just want you to know we are here for you and we do care

Hoping you will find all the support here like I have and become a constant member of this family at HW
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/26/2007 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Mikey

No apologies needed. We are here and we want you in our family on the

A & P Forum. You received some very caring responses, keep posting :)

Gentle Hugs


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


missclean39
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/15/2012 6:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I have these thoughts too. It got so bad that I went to a psychiatric hospital 5 times in one year b/c I was afraid that I was going to commit suicide. The Ocd suicidal thoughts will just pop out of nowhere and scare the ******out of me. When these thoughts get to be a bully I seek reassurance and look up 'ocd suicidal thoughts' on google. My therapist says that I am not supposed to seed reassurance but I need to know that I am not suicidal and that takes a few hours of seeking reassurance to feel better, if only for a while.

Are these thoughts persistant as in do they seem to keep revolving in your head all day long?

This is my worst fear that I will commit suicide.

LHA112
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 5/15/2012 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Mike, sounds like OCD definitely plays a part in your thoughts. I have fierce OCD and my brain will NOT EVER stop worrying about things. Mine is not at all suicidal related, but still it totally controls my life on a constant basis.

Hang in there. Keep coming back here.

I JUST NOTICED THIS THREAD IS OLD...FROM 2007 !!! Oops.
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