Well guys, my night was HORRIBLE. Today hasn't been much better either.
As you know, my Mom got released from the hospital yesterday, since they were able to stop the bleeding. Well, my Dad works at night, he drives from Ohio to Michigan to deliver parts, and so my Mom is alone in the night. I live across the street though, so I am not far away if she ever needs anything.
Well, 3:30 a.m. she called me, she was full of blood...AGAIN! So, I rushed over there, and sure enough, she was full of blood. We applied pressure for about 10 minutes, and it didn't stop. I called 911. I felt my anxiety going crazy. I took one of her Xanax. I tried to keep her calm, which was hard, cuz I felt myself headed for a severe panic attack.
The paramedics came, and zipped her off, and by 4 a.m. I was alone, at her house, cleaning up the mess. Dad was on his way to the hopsital. Lucky for us, he was back in Ohio when this happened. I told Dad I would bring Mom's insurance card to the hospital, but I coudln't stay. He understood. The hospital is about 10 minutes away, felt like it took me 3 days to get there and a week to get home.
When I got home, I was still uptight, and in severe panic mode, so much so that I contemplated calling 911 for me! I thought I was having a heart attack. I actually ended up taking another Xanax. I take .25 MG at a time, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to take another one so soon. I was fine. Within about 40 minutes, I was relaxed again. I went to sleep.
I felt like garbage when I got up this morning, and even now, I still feel just very anxious, like I am on the verge of another panic attack. This is how I felt before I started the Lexapro. Could I need a higher dose of the Lexapro...or could this all be from the stress of my MOm?
So, she got released AGAIN from the ER, and met with the plastic surgeon today. HE CAN'T DO SURGERY ON HER....Her blood platelets are too low, and she has a large hernia in her stomach. She is meeting with her family doc tomorrow and we are going to see what to do next. In the meantime, there is still risk for her to bleed again, and the hospital will NOT keep her. Health insurance bites!!! (sorry, just an opinion out of anger right now.)
I am scared my Mom will call again in the middle of the night, bleeding, and of course, I will have to go take care of her...which I have no problem with, but it seems to flare up my anxiety. For some reason, I need to have time to wake up before I can do anything, and when I am callled in the middle of t he night and forced to rush out, it plays a game with my head, or something...I can't explain it.
Anyway, a couple things here...I know I am dealing with stress, but so many people have told me that I may need to get my dosage of Lexapro upped to keep it working. I am due for a refill, infact, I have to call tomorrow. Should I stay at the 10 mg that has been working, until now, when my stress levels are so high, or should I talk to my doc about maybe upping my dose?
Does anyone have any suggestions at all that maybe could keep my anxiety low, and maybe avoid another horrid panic attack in the event my Mom does need me again late tonight? Any thoughts or suggestions would be appriciated greatly!!!
I know I have been posting a lot lately. I hope you guys don't mind reading my life story and daily stresses! You guys are all GREAT! Thanks for EVERYTHING!!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off. Major health anxiety as well!
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now. I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
Best Wishes to all...Tammy