Had a real bad night.

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TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/25/2007 2:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Well guys, my night was HORRIBLE.  Today hasn't been much better either.
 
As you know, my Mom got released from the hospital yesterday, since they were able to stop the bleeding.  Well, my Dad works at night, he drives from Ohio to Michigan to deliver parts, and so my Mom is alone in the night.  I live across the street though, so I am not far away if she ever needs anything. 
 
Well, 3:30 a.m. she called me, she was full of blood...AGAIN!  So, I rushed over there, and sure enough, she was full of blood.  We applied pressure for about 10 minutes, and it didn't stop.  I called 911.  I felt my anxiety going crazy.  I took one of her Xanax.  I tried to keep her calm, which was hard, cuz I felt myself headed for a severe panic attack. 
 
The paramedics came, and zipped her off, and by 4 a.m. I was alone, at her house, cleaning up the mess.  Dad was on his way to the hopsital.  Lucky for us, he was back in Ohio when this happened.  I told Dad I would bring Mom's insurance card to the hospital, but I coudln't stay.  He understood.  The hospital is about 10 minutes away, felt like it took me 3 days to get there and a week to get home. 
 
When I got home, I was still uptight, and in severe panic mode, so much so that I contemplated calling 911 for me!  I thought I was having a heart attack.  I actually ended up taking another Xanax.  I take .25 MG at a time, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to take another one so soon.  I was fine.  Within about 40 minutes, I was relaxed again.  I went to sleep.
 
I felt like garbage when I got up this morning, and even now, I still feel just very anxious, like I am on the verge of another panic attack.  This is how I felt before I started the Lexapro.  Could I need a higher dose of the Lexapro...or could this all be from the stress of my MOm?
 
So, she got released AGAIN from the ER, and met with the plastic surgeon today.  HE CAN'T DO SURGERY ON HER....Her blood platelets are too low, and she has a large hernia in her stomach.  She is meeting with her family doc tomorrow and we are going to see what to do next.  In the meantime, there is still risk for her to bleed again, and the hospital will NOT keep her.  Health insurance bites!!!  (sorry, just an opinion out of anger right now.)
 
I am scared my Mom will call again in the middle of the night, bleeding, and of course, I will have to go take care of her...which I have no problem with, but it seems to flare up my anxiety.  For some reason, I need to have time to wake up before I can do anything, and when I am callled in the middle of t he night and forced to rush out, it plays a game with my head, or something...I can't explain it.
 
Anyway, a couple things here...I know I am dealing with stress, but so many people have told me that I may need to get my dosage of Lexapro upped to keep it working.  I am due for a refill, infact, I have to call tomorrow.  Should I stay at the 10 mg that has  been working, until now, when my stress levels are so high, or should I talk to my doc about maybe upping my dose? 
 
Does anyone have any suggestions at all that maybe could keep my anxiety low, and maybe avoid another horrid panic attack in the event my Mom does need me again late tonight?  Any thoughts or suggestions would be appriciated greatly!!!
 
I know I have been posting a lot lately.  I hope you guys don't mind reading my life story and daily stresses!  You guys are all GREAT!  Thanks for EVERYTHING!!!
 
(((((HUGS)))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/25/2007 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG
I am so sorry hun and do not ever apologise for posting
You are family to us and we are here to try n support you in anyway we can

I am so sorry about your mom
I have had it rough myself today but thats another story and one I wont go into right now .......

Back to you
I would ask the doc to up not only your xanax but your Lexapro as well at least with the upped xanax til something is settled with your mom and you are able to kinda relax it would help you out IMHO and it wouldnt hurt to ask about the lexapro while you are at it
I am sure once he sees you and knows the shape you are in there will be no problem with it even if only for a short period on the Xanax ya know

You have been thru hades and back as has your poor mom and I will keep you in my heart thoughts and prayers hun
Please do keep us posted on your mom and on you
AGAIN ...post as much as you need to and then some if it makes you feel better ....I know it does me ..........
We are and will be here for you sweetie

Gentle huggs coming your way and for your Mom...Prayers as well

Luvs
LYN
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 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
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TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/25/2007 3:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much Lyn. And as for you, I am interested in hearing about your rough day as well. I am sorry you are having it bad too!

You know what is good, me and my Mom share a family doctor, that way he sees what she is going through, and is more understandable to knowing about my stress because of her...you know what I am saying? It is good that way. Plus, he knows my family history, as he cares for my Dad as well.

I appriciate that I can come here and vent and go on and on and knowing that you guys will listen to me! I love you all!!!

Thanks for everything...


(((((HUGS)))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/25/2007 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Tammy,

Hugs sweetie, I am so sorry and wish I were close to you as I would help you with your Mom. Such a sad mess she is in and after so many trips to the hospital by ambulance, I would put the hospital on notice that she obviously needed to be an inpatient and solve the problem.  It does not look good for a hospital to send a patient back home all the time when she is at high risk as your Mom is.

Now for you.  I would suggest that you ask to bump your Lexapro to 20 mg as well as get you on the anxiolytic at a higher dose. Your Dr. can give you a range to use on  Xanax or perhaps Valium would be a choice for you.  Valium is the longest acting and at a low dose you would get better coverage.

I strongly feel your increased stress is definitely at the core of your increase attacks. Anyone in your place would be stressing right now.

Try to stay in the moment and when you see your Mother bleeding and you know it is not going to stop for you, just call 911, that is why God invented Paramedics :) You can ask that they not come down the street with the sirens in the middle of the night if that triggers you. You may be  programmed to hear a siren and become more anxious.

Please know that my thoughts, my prayers and my heart are with you at this very difficult time.

Gentle hugs


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
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_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
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TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/25/2007 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt, thank you so kindly for your encouraging words!!! They mean a lot to me, as they always do!

It meant a lot to me that you say you wish you were closer, as you would help with my Mom. I feel like we are family. There are a good number of people here who I feel so close to. It's amazing!

It does look horrible for the hospital to continue to send her home for her to come back later, or the next day. She has been there like 4 times in the past like 3 days. Just craziness. I wish they would keep her. Hopefully tomorrow, our family doctor will do something for her...something more than is being done now, which is nothing much.

I am going to call the doctor tomorrow about upping my Lexapro, and talking more about the Xanax, and maybe looking into Valium. Can Valium be used as needed, or is it more for the daily usage? I am going to to call first thing in the morning. I need to do soemthing, I don't wanna lose the goodness that I have gotten so far.

I too strongly feel that my attacks are coming from my increased stress, between my Mom and things with my ex. I was doing so good. So, it has to be the stress kicking me back. I feel horrible right now...just tired, and sore, and stuff. Those feelings generally come to me after a big attack like last night.

Thank you for your prayers. I appriciate that. I will update you guys tomorrow as to how tonight goes...I pray she doesn't bleed tonight...and I will let you all know what the doctor says about my meds. and about her.

Thanks for everything guys.

Pray for us to have a quiet night.

(((((HUGS)))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/26/2007 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, well, well, the stranger surfaces...LOL. Only kidding. I see you are going through a lot too, and I am sorry to hear that! Thank you though for your kind words and thoughts. I will be posting now about what else is going on. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to think of me, and say I hope you are feeling better and that things are getting better for you!!!

(((((HUGS)))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/29/2007 11:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Tammy
sweetie I have been awol for a couple of days due to family circumstances and being sick
I am hoping that things are looking up and getting better for you and especially your poor mom it has to be darned hard to watch her like this and with you being so A/P yourself and going thru so much
I know it was when I had mom to look after too ....phones ringing in the middle of the night actually just throw me into total anxiety and I will go into full panic attack when it rings after 9pm ( unless Cait tells me a friend is calling her ) ....so I can relate to the angst you have to be going thru
I am really concerened with that hospital and them not keeping her at all .......something just dont seem right there at all
Upping your Xanax or asking for Valium would be the best IMHO right now
I take Valium and yes you can take as needed or doc may RX certain amount per day .....they really help me when I take them and I am able to still carry on and not feel doped up ....you may the first couple of times but you will get over that........I honestly think as Kitt does that is your best bet and YES CBT for sure

Stay strong sweetie and know we are here for you always and we do care and luvs ya .....we would be there in a flash if only it were possible ..lotsa gentle loving huggs coming your way sweetie
be good to self and know we are here k
Email me if ya need to talk

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/29/2007 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn, you are great. I am sorry to hear about your family circumstances, along with you being sick. I hope all is getting better for you.

I posted a bit of an update in my other thread...seems like I am dominating this board these days...ha ha ha. I will have more updates about Mom tomorrow. She is going to the doctor...per Dads request.

I am on my way to the park for a walk with the pup. Need it badly. I will post again soon.

Thanks for the support.

(((((HUGS))))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/29/2007 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   
No problem
We are all here for you and yes please let us know what her doc says okay

Have a good long beautiful walk it does help to be out in nature at times of high angst .......enjoy

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
 Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
             EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
 Walk With Us We Will Take your Hand .......
 
  
                                  

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