i got diagnosed with panic attacks which occur when i'm not in controll of my enviroment or can't escape easily, so a kind of branch of agrophobia, except i'm fine if i'm completely in controll, but when i'm not, i start feeling REALLY heavily sick and have a panic attack. I also get sick in the mornings, have OCD that flaires up more as a syptom of stress then anything else, and food anxiety. I also get awful tummy ahces and head aches as a result of the stress, i'm guessing (i've had all the appropriate tests to be sure its nothing else). And i've pretty much been house bound for a year until just recently when i have been forcing myself out in public and things with help of CBT and beta blockers. My doctor doesn't wanna put me on anti-depressants if she can help it because she says i'm a little too young in her opinion (i'm 19) and that they can become a bit dangerous.
I am getting better just very very slowly i think, but the thing is, i'm meant to be starting university in September 07. I have already been offered a firm place, but it's only a couple of months away and it's scaring me so much. The university is 4 hours away from home and is in London which is a terribly busy city, i could take another gap year but i have already had one off and i'm worried my depression will come back and i will just get worse rather then better if i stay at home. But on the other hand, i would hate to go to uni and have a terrible experience, not be able to enjoy it at all, and then have to pull out, leaving me in heavy debt. But then again, uni could be the thing that really gets be better - maybe i would go and it would help me break free of this anxiety and force me to get out and about more. I just don't know what to do, i keep asking everyone i know for advice but they all just say "it's up to you" because they have never been through something like this and obviously it's hard for them to say.
Anyone got some advice? (sorry this message was so long lol)