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TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/27/2007 5:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, I dunno where to start here.  I keep asking Mom if she has heard from her doctor, and she keeps saying, No, that he hasn't returned her calls.  I find that to be odd, since they called me after hours lastnight regarding me refill for my Lexapro.  I am getting the feeling she hasn't called him, and that is irritating to me, especially since I am the one dealing with this bleeding wound in the middle of the night.  And, it is affecting my anxiety.  All of the sudden, I am feeling like my old self, the bad old self, the Tammy before I started taking the Lexapro.  I am back to using a lot of Xanax...well, I took 2 the other day, and 2 today.  But, the point is, I was down to NONE.  So, this is frustrating me.  I have no idea how to approach my Mom about it either.  How do I tell her I think she is lying???  sad
 
As I mentioned. my anxiety seems to be flaring up.  When I got my Lexapro refill, I neglected to talk abut upping it.  It scares me to up it, but I dunno.  I am thinking about calling tomorrow, and maybe seeing if I can get in to talk to my dr about my meds, or if he can talk with me over the phone.  I am at a loss of what to do.  I don't want to up things, but I am feeling myself falling down.  And then I go back to needing more Xanax, or something like Xanax, and I have the fear of asking him for that.  I guess I don't know how  to go about any of this.  confused
 
I am doing my best to stay postive, and work through this, but I can't help but feel frustrated with this.  Things are starting to feel overwhelming again, and I am just feeling lost.  UGH.
 
I am praying for a better weekend.  My Dad is off work tonight, so if GOd forbid Mom needs help in the night, I won't have to go over there, since he will be there.  She called me again at midnight last night, needing help.  We didn't have to call 911, since I got the wound under control, but the point is, I was asleep, and had to go there.  That isn't good for my anxiety...I don't really understand why. 
 
Thanks all for listening... :-)
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/27/2007 5:58 PM (GMT -6)   

Tammy,

I am sorry your anxiety is rising, but under the circumstances you are entitled to feel anxious.

Can you go over to your Mom's tomorrow and have a heart to heart?  Ask her right out if she has talked to the Doctor and as her daughter you want to know the outcome. Maybe she has spoken to him and is trying to spare you, however in your case not Knowing seems worse then not knowing. I think you deal very well with the reality but guessing what is going on causes you high anxiety.

Sometimes we hurt people more by not letting them share our pain then pushing them away to protect them.

The other scenario could be that she has not called because she is afraid of what the Doctor will tell her.

We our here for you and you have our prayers and our love.

Big Hugs for you.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/27/2007 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Kitt. I definately think she is scared of what the doctor will tell her. Considering all she has been through, I can't blame her. I am pretty confident she didn't talk to the doctor, cuz my Dad was angry when he found out they called me after hours, and they haven't returned her phone call. I hate to say it, but I serioulsy think she is lying to us all.

I should go over there and have a heart to heart, and maybe even include my Father. It makes me nervous, but it doesn't make me anymore nervous than the late night phone calls about her bleeding. This situation stinks.

I appriciate your kind words...as always. Thanks so much!!!

(((((HUGS)))))

Time to go give the dog a bath. Ha ha ha. It is her first one. I hope she likes it!!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/27/2007 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey Tammy,

Including your Father in the conversation is a great idea.

Today is doggie spa day at our house too.  One likes it and the other one hates it.  It is pretty funny to watch.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))) and prayers.

Keep on posting.


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/28/2007 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Good news...the doggie liked the bath! She was cold after, but during, she had a good time!!!

Bad news...4 a.m. Dad called me cuz Mom was bleeding, and he couldn't get it to stop. He needed my help. I went over there, and within a short time, we had it under control. I asked him what the heck we were doing about this wound. He said the dr never called Mom back. I said I didn't know about that, and we'd talk later. John and I are going over there to help Dad put up a shed, I think I am going to do my best to strike up a conversation about this then. I am nervous, but it has to be done.

My anxiety is starting to get the best of me. I am feeling like crap again. I called my dr. We are going to meet next week and talk. Ugh. I am stressed.

Well, I will start a new post later with any updates I may have.

I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD WEEKEND!!!!

Thanks for the support...more later on!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/29/2007 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey Tammy,

I wanted to get this up top so you could update us on Mom and how you are doing?

You know we are all here and care about you very much. Lean on us sweetie as that is what we are, your online family.

Look out so that little ankle biter, Yorkie, doesn't nip at you tongue

((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/29/2007 3:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, Mom bled out like 3 times this weekend. I talked to my Dad, and he said NO QUESTIONS ASKED, they are going to the family doc TOMORROW MORNING.

I didn't want to make Mom feel bad about herself, cuz I am assuming if she is lying about calling the doctor, it is out of fear, so I talked to Dad in private, and suggested we needed to nudge Mom a bit to make her deal with this head on.

Saturday afternoon, she bled out, and was laying in the bed. I was cleaning her up and stopping the bleeding. She cried. I asked what was wrong, and she admitted she is scared this wound will kill her. I told her she'd be fine, but expressed to her she needs to get to the doctor and figure out what we can do. She said she knows that.

So, the update is, tomorrow morning, she IS seeing our family doctor, and I pray something gets done here. We have all had enough, especially Mom.

My anxiety is, eh, higher than normal. I have been taking 1 Xanax daily. That has only been over this weekend. Hopefully once Mom goes to the doc tomorrow, my anxieties will go back down and I can get back to no Xanax. I hate taking it.

Thanks so much for asking for an update. That means a lot to me!!!

(((((HUGS))))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/29/2007 3:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh and yes, that darn yorkie is an ankle biter for sure...ugh. But, I love her!!!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/29/2007 4:00 PM (GMT -6)   
HI sweetie
Please do keep us posted on how your mom is and what the doc has to say
As wel on how you are doing and feeling .........

I am sure she is terrified hun and that she didnt call the doc ..
In all honesty I have done that myself and a few yrs back I was told I should /could have lost my leg meanwhile I was SCARED to death to tell anyone ....mom came over saw leg and called the doc he did a housecall and I was admitted shortly after.......the wound took forever to heal...But.....

Anyways your Mom you John and Dad ( n babies) are in my heart thoughts and Prayers

Let us know for sure PLEASE

Luvs
LYN
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TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/29/2007 9:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks a lot Lyn. I will keep you updated, and will post tomorrow with whatever the doctor says about Mom.

Thanks for your prayers.

Today was a pretty great day. Overall, this whole weekend wasn't too shabby. I hope all is well with you.

(((((HUGS)))))
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/29/2007 9:45 PM (GMT -6)   

Tammy I am so glad you had a good week-end and that the ankle biter gave you a break. tongue

You deserved to have some time without a lot going on. I pray for your Mother and for you.

You will win the personal battles you are fighting in your life!

Take care sweet lady.

Gentle Hugs


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


jerseycherries
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 178
   Posted 7/29/2007 10:22 PM (GMT -6)   
just wanted to let you know your in my thoughts. i hope that all this with you and your mom gets better quickly. and that you'll be able to get back to feeling better yourself. i know its a very hard time right now. but your strong and will make it through all this. try to stay calm and rest and relax when you get a spare moment. even if its only for i minute, take it.
I have bipolar disorder, panic attacks w/agoraphobia, social anxiety, diabetes, asthma, and high blood pressure.
 
~ Life is short but I am not. ~


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 7/30/2007 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Kitt and Jersey! Means a lot to me to know that I am so thought of. My Mom is at the doctor now. I called the house, and no one answered, so I am assuming that she is still with the doctor. Hopefully I will have some updates soon!

Thanks to everyone who is thinking of us!
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off.  Major health anxiety as well!
 
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
 
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now.  I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
 
Best Wishes to all...Tammy


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/30/2007 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   

Hey Tammy,

I am right here and praying for MOM.  You know I am thinking of you and I hope that a decision is made today on how the medical community is going to help your Mom.

She has every right to be afraid.  If I was there I would sit with her and hold her hand.  Gentle hugs to her and big yorkie hugs to you. :)

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 

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