I haven't written for many months now but after reading your post I just had to reply - firstly can you tell me how old you are? When I was in my early twenties I had EVERY single symptom you are having - I was convinced I was going crazy and would end up in a mental institution for the rest of my life - I just couldn't stop thinking about
it. I was also convinced I had every disease known to man and that I was definitely dying of something. I am now 60 years old, I haven't died and I haven't gone crazy - and neither will you. This is ALL anxiety and possibly depression with a dose of ocd thrown in - I went to psychiatrists for years and years, went on and off meds, had periods of years when I felt just fine and some periods where the anxiety came back. But once you realize that you will NOT go crazy - it's just you're anxiety getting the best of you - you'll begin to realize that you're not alone either - that millions of us suffer from these same crazy thoughts/obsessions. Once you get the correct medication and hopefully some good therapy - as well as read a few of the many books that are out there on anxiety - you'll at least have the comfort of knowing you're NOT crazy and that others suffer with you. I swear when we're young and those hormones are pulsing through us, anxiety seems worse than ever - during my thirties and early 40's I was much better - then once menopause hit I was hit again with anxiety. The ONLY thing good about
it this time was that I knew what to expect and I knew I really wasn't crazy, just needed to go back on meds again and probably see a therapist to deal with this latest round. Stay strong and understand you are NOT unique - I for one can attest to that because I suffered all the same symptoms you are having. Good luck - and know that it WILL get better.