You are not a loser, no way. You are just going through the empty nest syndrome. Your role has been a Mother for so long that now you need to figure out what next, but don't rush yourself.
Give yourself time to get use to your free time and maybe take a course through community education.
I had my first panic attack when my oldest went off to boot camp. I thought I was excited for him and he was off to see the world. I forgot about me, and I crashed big time. I had let go of one of my ducklings and I was so sad. I could not stop crying but I did not know why.
You have figured out why, your way ahead of where I was. Gentle Hugs. We are here to help you always. :)
Machelle and kitt,
Thank you both for your replies and advice. I know it will take some time to adjust to this new way of life for me. Machelle, you are right about losing myself over the years because I focused entirely on my daughter. Maybe it was another way to avoid dealing with my own problems and that is why I had such an awful setback last oct (when my daughter started to become more independent). I don't have her as a diversion anymore and am pretty much left with the messes that I've never cleaned up from my past that are now staring me in the face. I am dealing with alot of this with my therapist, it just seems that the last few weeks things have changed so much for my daughter and I've been caught a bit off guard and it's throwing me.
Thank you both for caring!
Oh, and Machelle, I'd love to share ideas with you!
Hope you are feeling better today and that you have some ideas your tossing around in your head re what you would like to be. No matter what phase of life we are in, we want to feel useful.
You are all that and more so give yourself a big hug and stay with us sweetie.
Thank you kitt for checking up on me, I am doing a bit better today. I guess I just need to go through feeling crummy for a while, but I know it will pass. I went through something similar when she started kindergarten and again when she went to jr. high and survived both of those. This just seems like the beginning of really having to let her go and be on her own which will lead to her eventually leaving home for good.
Dolores, you are so right, and I hadn't thought of it that way. I am proud of the job I've done, she's a great kid and I'm very lucky that we have a very close relationship which will last as Machelle said.
I'm working on coming up with ideas to fill my time so I don't have too much to think. I'm hoping to do a little writing again, I used to write alot, so would love to return to that. I also think I'll go back to doing my crafts that I then sell on e-bay. I put a few of my things in our garage sale last week and got really positive comments about them. I enjoy doing crafty things, so that will probably be something I'll dig back up.
I do have ideas, it's just that right now I think I need to get through the icky feelings, let them be and then let them go when I'm ready. I'm thankful that I've been in therapy now for nine months and we've been dealing with this very issue, so I guess I'm ahead of the game there. I know I'll be okay in time.
Thanks again to all of you for caring. You've all made me feel much better and not so alone in this!