Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/23/2007 7:30:20 PM (GMT-6)
Hello and Welcome to Healing Well and the A & P Forum.
I sense your pain and from what you have posted you have gone through a very tumultuous relationship. You had great difficulty in going back and forth with this girl and that along with the other issues going on in your life could have easily caused a mental health issue for you.
I understand your feeling of guilt but guilt is a wasted emotion. Can you find it in your heart to forgive yourself and realize if you were sinking into a state of Anxiety/Depression that you were not able to make wise choices? I would like to hear that you currently have a physician and that you are in some sort of therapy or seriously considering therapy.
At this time in your life you need to take care of you and only you can do that with lots of support from your new family here in A & P. Trust us to take your hand and help you through the rough times and we will be here to support you.
Again a warm welcome to you. Gentle Hugs.
This is Kitt. Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have problems letting go. It's like the person has left an indelible imprint upon your heart and many of us feel that we can't go on. It only makes things more difficult by trying to hold onto a relationship that is clearly over. Here are a few tips for letting go.
The break up of your relationship probably seems like the end of the world but it's not. Everything happens for a reason. People often find out that they are not compatible one way or another. Sometimes there is a lack of commitment on the part of one partner. Whatever the reason for the demise of your relationship keep in mind that there is probably something better in store somewhere down the line.
Accept the fact that relationships end and let it rest. The sooner you accept the truth and get on with your life the easier it will be for you. :)
You can't control another person, you can only control yourself.
Take a step forward and get on with the rest of your life.
You are obviously an intelligent and caring young man, you have been through a bad time and I hope you will give yourself time, plenty of time to move on and stay in the moment. Try hard not to dwell in the past. You cannot reverse what is done and you have our support here so keep posting.
How about that therapy? It is truly a lifesaver for many people.
I will be following your thread. Gentle Hugs.
Post Edited (JustinH) : 8/23/2007 3:21:26 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (JustinH) : 8/23/2007 5:48:38 PM (GMT-6)
Looks like you found yourself a friend and have been doing lots of dialogue. Good for you.
Please look into therapy and talk to your parents. Talk with your Mom and do not underestimate Mothers. They do listen. This is just my opinion. Also I suggest that you concentrate more on the present and perhaps not continue to try to figure out what went wrong. Start fresh and please get professional help.
Post Edited (JustinH) : 8/23/2007 9:25:29 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (JustinH) : 8/24/2007 11:32:39 AM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 8/25/2007 5:48:05 AM (GMT-6)
OK, who are you? Random, where did that come from? Confused me there, lol. :)
I agree with Lyn completely on abuse and people don't see the scars left by emotional abuse, but the abused person sure does feel them.
Im very glad to hear that you talked to your mom and that you are planning on seeking therapy. I believe that talking about your issues will help you to release your tensions and help you heal faster. Some of the hardest breakups in, IMO, are those where both people still deeply care for each other and want to be together but realise that it cannot work out for whatever reason. The emotional detachment process is much harder on the senses.
I somewhat agree with you about emotional abuse. I completely agree they are both wrong. I would not like to see either cases. However, I think that physical abuse causes emotional strain and scars on the the person that is abused as well. A lot of cases of physical abuse leave the victim feeling inferior and trapped. They become less willing to trust others. I won't dwell on the subject and you no doubt disaprove of both but I just think that physical abuse warrents a higher level, if not atleast the same level, of disapproval as emotional abuse. I understand your point. That is just my opinion.