Help......Falling apart ..I feel .......

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TeNNiSd0C09
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 9/9/2007 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I am having a hard time. I feel like I am lacking in school. I can feel my grades slipping. I can't seem to concentrate or focus. I can't study or do my work. When I do study, even right before the test, I get the test and read the questions, I know the answer because I just read it on my study guide, but I CANT remember anything. I know I know the answers, but I can't think for the life of me. My last couple tests I had, I did worse on. Everytime I take one the grades seem to go lower and lower. That is not me.
 
But, I can't make myself concentrate, focus, and it feels like my attention is not on school. I try my best to help myself, but I have tried and failed. I don't know what I am going to do. I can't let my grades start to slip. This is my Junior year. I do really good every year, but I wanted to do even better this year. This is when I am starting to look into scholarships and college and stuff.
 
I am worried that if I can't fix this I am going to start suffering so bad in school. It has affected my grades. And my ability to do my schoolwork. I talk to my school counselor about my depression and stuff so at this weeks session I am going to talk to her about my school problem.
 
What can I do to help myself concentrate and focus? What if my grades start to dramatically drop?
 
Due to this problem it is causing my anxiety to go up so high. I am so worried about it now. It is like a huge circle and everything affects everything else. School is very very important to me. If my grades drop my teachers will notice, my parents will notice, they will all know I have a problem then. I dont want that to happen. I HAVE to do good in school. This is not like me. I make straight A's and have a 4.0 GPA. But, my grades are falling in front of me, and I can't do anything about it.
 
What should I do? Thanks so much.
 
 **ADDED a title to your thread so ppl know what it is about you can change it okay if you want to please in future do have titles as it makes it easier for those to respond to it ....thanks.LYN

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 9/10/2007 6:34:17 AM (GMT-6)


PanicAttacker27m
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/9/2007 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
What else changed in your life.... you are posting on the anxiety page so what anxiety problems have you had before? are you taking any medications? any new meds? Sorry im new to this site so I dont know anything else about you.

It sounds to me like your focusing on your grades too much, which is giving you performance anxiety problems.... you might need to manage your time better to allow more stress releiving activities.

Try excersizing...walk around a forest perserve once a day... play basketball... just do something physical everyday to get your mind off of school to avoid burnout.

Set aside some time to do something FUN or FUNNY everyday... putting the books away and watching southpark works for me =)

ALSO...if youre in college... take less classes at a time!... grades are important, im an A student also... but thats only because I take 2-3 classes per semester, anymore and Id be a B student.

Life is not a rush, if it takes you longer to finish school.... who cares!

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 9/9/2007 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, well, actually anxiety is not my only problem. I have alot of different things that are wrong, unfortunately, my doctors don't know. I have a lot of joint/muscle pains. I can't do much physically. This is my first time with anxiety. I also have depression. I don't take any meds. I haven't been dx. I have been to about 10 different docs who say they can't figure me out, although they say I have something because it is not normal for someone my age to have the symptoms that I do. I do see my school counselor who is trying to help me manage and reverse my anxiety and depression.
 
I don't focus on my grades alot. They are important to me, but I usually don't worry about them. It's just now, I feel like my problems are starting to affect my performance in school. I am a Junior in high school, btw. I put myself on a schedule to manage my sleep pattern and make time for homework and then me-time where I try to do something that will take my mind off things and help me relax. So, I manage my time. Which is something that has helped some with the way I feel everyday. The physical stuff you mentioned I wish I could do. It is usually to painful, although I usually force myself into doing things. I have alot of joint/muscle pain, for no apparent reason. My doctors don't know.
 
My counselor has told me to set time for FUN stuff, too. But, that is easier said than done seeing as I also suffer from depression and social anxiety. Meaning it is not enjoyable for me to be around people, most of the time. And I find a loss of enjoyment in things I used to like doing. Things just aren't fun for me anymore. I try to do my best, obviously, because I don't want to be this way. I wish I were my 'old self'. The person who loved playing sports and hanging out with friends doing crazy stuff. You'd think me being a teenager these things would be the center of my life, but it isn't that way with me.
 
Well, I really appreciate your suggestions. I will try my best. I really appreciate it. Thank you!

PanicAttacker27m
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/9/2007 9:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Depression and Anxiety are sometimes related in my opinion, especially with your social anxiety... it would seem to me that if you didnt have the anxiety, you would enjoy going out with freinds, and in turn, be less depressed. Ive had social anxiety since i was a teenager too... but after 10 years of struggling with it, ive improved alot... im sure youll be okay too. But yeah sometimes it really sucks. I dont have a ton of freinds, which used to bother me in high school... but as you get older, you realize that doesnt matter at all! Im super happy with the few great freinds that I have... so concentrate on them, they are the ones that matter.

about your joint pain ( which probably adds to your depression ) there are lots of things that can cause that... obviously, as your doctors are stumped. But thats only because doctors look for common problems in young people, they have a hard time looking at rarer causes.

So... just a question, do you have any gastrointestinal problems also? Stomach pains? Problems with constipation and diarrhea? Anything with your parents that might give you a clue?

PanicAttacker27m
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/9/2007 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Also...where is your joint/muscle pain? Try to describe it better, when it happens, does it sometimes get better/disappear? Other times really bad?

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/10/2007 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi hun
Why is it you dont want your parents involved

I have a teen so like you has to have perfect grades and be all she can thinking she will disapoint me
SHE wont
YOU wont I promise you that
Try talking to mom or dad if at all possible and keep this all in the open
Depression and a/p can and will cause some pains anywhere in the body,but have you had a total physical to rule out everything
You sound very level headed and well adjusted to a ROUTINE ....perhaps to much rigidity is in that routine and you need to be " fun and " spontaneous" just for a wee bit...................... this old lady here goes off the wall every once in awhile and it is good for the soul the laughing at silly things I do or dont mean to do ya know .....and I am OCD with routine so bad my daughter and hubby are now becoming this way ........I am changing or should say trying to change how I am with some things but it is hard after being like this for over 30 plus yrs and it only becomes harder...........

Sounds like you do need some fun time and I know it is not as easy as I am saying is it ......but do give it a shot and perhaps see a doc about the pains and all other stuff as it does go hand in hand with depression and a/p
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/10/2007 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   
You can change the title of your thread I added one but its your call ......
Titles are needed for a better response
Thanks for your co operation
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
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          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/10/2007 10:30 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello and welcome, this is Kitt.

I will throw out a few things that may help you to concentrate:

1. Stay in the moment, if your at school, only take care of one subject at a time, the one class you are in.  Don't anticipate the next class, it will arive soon enough.

2.  If you have a study hall available to you during one class period or after school, use it and take advantage of a quiet time to study and complete homework. Remember to take a break every hour, to at least stand and stretch, it is refreshing.  Then get back to work.

3.  Take notes during class. This can help to keep you focused on the material being taught.

4. Use an  assignment book to keep lists of things to do. Don't make lists on pieces  of paper  you may end up losing them. Get into the habit of completing a list of things to do each evening for what you want to accomplish the next day. Check your list off as you complete your tasks

5.  Find someone you trust and work well with to help you stay focused during the day. Have a secret signal they can give you if they see you have lost your focus.

Most of all believe in yourself, and you will do fine. If you keep posting here we will support you and you will find lots of caring members.

Again Welcome.


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
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_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


olivia of course
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 9/10/2007 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Tennis,

Sorry you are going through rough times. I am with Stkitt on taking it one subject at a time. If you look at the whole picture, it will be overwhelming.

I am glad that tomorrow is Tuesday, and you can talk to your councelor about it. She might share shortcusts or ways to make school a welcoming place for you.

Hang in there.
Olivia
Moderator, Bipolar
 
Dx:  Bipolar 1, Anxiety-Panic Disorder
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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 9/10/2007 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow, that's alot. Umm.. I try to answer everything.
 
To PanicAttacker27m- Yes, I do have gastro problems. No one else knows about those either. And I get stomach aches often. They are usually what keep me out of school if I do have to miss. And with my parents, my mom isn't a good listener and doesn't believe the seriousness when I tell her what's going on. I don't really feel comfortable talking with people(even my parents) so I don't talk to them a lot. My mom usually disagrees and we start fighting.
 
My joint/muscle pain is all over. Top/bottom, left/right. All parts of my legs, arms, elbows, shoulders, back, neck, hips, basically everything. It comes and goes whenever it wants. Sometimes it is worse than other times. Physical exertion makes it worse, but doesn't cause it.
 
To Howlyncat- It's not that I don't want my parents involved, it's that they don't listen to me. I try to tell them what is going on, my mom just says it will pass or it is nothing or everyone goes through it. Obviously, she doesn't understand that I am being serious. I try my best. Although, my dad and I talk about it sometimes. He listens better and knows I am being serious, but there isn't much he can do. He is helping me find a doctor right now. All my doctors refer me to other doctors so now I am looking for my own doctor, one who I believe can help me.
 
I have had an entire physical. I have had tons and tons of tests. Scans, x-rays, MRI's, blood tests, bone scans, nerve test, echocardiogram, and everything. They can't find anything. OR say they can't find anything.
 
I try to do fun things, or things that used to be fun for me, but nothing much IS fun for me anymore. Not really sure why, it's just like I don't care for things that I used to do. Nothing is really FUN anymore. I try to make things fun. That's about all I can do, is try.
 
To stkitt- Thank you very much for your suggestions. I will try them and see what happens.
 
To olivia- Actually I am going to my counselor Wednesday. I went today because I had some things I really needed to discuss with her, but she was busy. And she has something tomorrow so I am going Wednesday. That's too bad to. I needed to talk to her today about school and I have some tests and really important things tomorrow and needed her help. And, this week has been worse. I am anticipating talking to her about some more things going on with me that she doesn't yet know. I feel like I can talk a little more comfortably with her now.
 
Anyways, thanks so much for all the replies. I will take some of your suggestions. They mean alot. Thanks so much!!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/11/2007 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hun I am so sorry your parents DONT get it .......
My teen is A/P not totally full blown but getting there and I do talk and listen maybe because I know what she is going thru

All have great input sweetie

Please look after you and know you have family here that do know and do LISTEN K

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/11/2007 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello,

It is Tuesday and you will be seeing a counselor today.  Please speak out and be sure to say how you feel.  I wish you the best and keep posting.

We are here to support you.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 9/11/2007 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Actually skitt, I went yesterday to my counselor, who was busy, and she told me she wouldn't be here today, so she said we would talk Wednesday. So, tomorrow. I wish I would be feeling really bad when I go to her. It is hard to describe things when I am not experiencing it at the time. When I am really down and having some of the feelings I do, it is easier to explain what is going on. When I feel fine it is hard to say how I feel when I am not ok.

Although, I am not saying I wish I would feel bad! I am going to try to 'talk' to her. Normally she asks questions and I just answer the best I can. She will ask if there is anything I wanted to talk about and I think and then say no. Because I am to scared and so nervous. But not this time. I am going to talk. I know it is hard to 'talk' and I should take it slow as I get comfortable talking, but I need for it to all come out now. I am tired of holding everything in and not telling anyone the whole truth. She is going to know everything.

I even feel bad because I have not been totally honest about some of the questions she has asked me. But, I don't feel comfortable talking about some things. Plus, it is kind of hard, I see her everyday at least 5 times a day at school. She sees me in the halls and with my friends. I can't help but think about it when I see her. Sometimes I notice her watching me and wonder what she is thinking. For everytime before this I have talked with her about college stuff. Never anything personal like this.

When I go in her office it is to get a recommendation from her, and get college stuff. She often talks about how she knows I am really smart and very capable of being very successful. She knows my grades and knows my plans and everything, it feels weird for her to know the 'other side' of me. It's like when you think someone is perfect(even though no one is perfect) and then you see there flaws, their weaknesses.

This is like that. She knows my intelligent, nice, good student side. No one else knows the 'other' me. It is weird to talk about how I am depressed and have anxiety and have all these problems. It's like no one knows the 'real' me. And seeing her everyday it is hard for me to tell her all of these feelings and then face her everyday.

BUT I don't care anymore. I want her to know the 'real' me. I want someone to know who I really am. She of all people should be able to understand me. I just want someone to understand me and it not change the way they view me. I am kind of afraid her when I need college stuff I know she will help me, but I wonder if she keeps in mind what I have told her. I know she isn't going to say anything and I don't feel what she puts on my recommendations and things. I just don't want ti to change the way she views me.

I want people to know and understand the real me, but I don't want them to see me and think 'hey that's the girl with the problem'. I am the quiet, good student person. That's the way people view me. And I am ok with that. But, I want people to know who I really am, good or bad. Yes, I know it really isn't other people's business, but it's hard for people to understand some things I say because they don't know anything about me really. Besides, I shouldn't care what other people think of me. They shouldn't think differently of me just because I have some issues.

Anyways, I am so sorry. I got way off track. This is so long. So sorry. I just start typing and everything I think, I type. Well, tomorrow is the day. I have a bunch of really big things due in the next week so this is a time of major stress and anxiety. Report cards come out in less than a week, so our teachers are trying to get everything in. Which means I have a few finals to take, a big Anatomy project, a research essay, things like that. It's so hard keeping up. I just pray I do well. Well, sorry, venting again.

Thank you guys so much. I don't know what I would do without you guys here to give me encouraging words. Thanks so much.

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