I agree with Lyn, this is a good topic and you, IMHO, did answer your own question. You wrote 1.) not do any online dating or even meeting people online, even for friendship.
If you read your whole post again you will see a theme, you want to set the rules, you do not have any intention of wanting to meet this person, however, you tell her you will pick her up at airport and ditch at last minute. You tell her your not interested but your actions contradict your words. Your expectations was she would say she understood how you could have a sick dog and she was just dumped. I would have taken care of my dog but perhaps I could have found a friend to help her out at the airport if I had given her my word that I would pick her up. I am not judging you here, just suggesting ideas to make it a win/win situation next time. Guilt is a wasted emotion, so toss it out and learn from this opportunity.
I feel like this girl may have easily been misled. If you were not interested and she was looking for involvement, you should have told her clearly and then stopped the online relationship. That gave her reason to misunderstand you.
You said you have your own group of friends, and your not looking to add a new person to this mix. I would advice you to stay out of the "flirting online scene completely if that is how you feel and just go to a chat line such as the ones offered here to connect with people online but keep romance and relationships out of it.
Take care my friend and again a good topic.
Hey Dan, I can understand how things like this easily get misunderstood.
I met my current (i dont even know what to call him really) guy, years ago. We dated seriously for over a year when I was 18 but ended up breaking up as the relationship was just too serious for either of us at that age. He was my first love and well everything. We ended up reconnecting this past Feburary online.
He now lives 150 miles away and travels alot with his job so communication comes down to either e-mails or cell phone calls. Both of which now have become sporatic at best. The biggest kicker to this whole thing is he is married...seperated but married still. I have been divorced for 3 years to the man I started to date a few months after I broke up with him.
I told him up front what I expected from a relationship and what I wouldnt tollerate in a relationship. I cant say how many times I have wanted to say no more, I just cant do this as he has such a passive attitude about this and I stress and worry about it. My anxiety and questions are ignored and unanswered.
For some reason I just havent been able to work up to cutting it off. There are so many feelings there even though I keep them to myself. I know I have to rely on myself and he isnt responsible for my feelings nor am I for his. I just dont think I am well at carrying out any form or long distance relationship or perhaps I am not even ready for a relationship at all. Who knows...
I just wanted to tell you that you can not take responsiblity for someone else's feelings. No we dont look to hurt them and dont want too but if we have made our feelings clear from the start then how they feel is up to them. I know that sounds harsh but we have to take care of ourselves first...better said then done huh?
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
Post Edited (Danxiety) : 9/29/2007 6:44:11 PM (GMT-6)
I think your conclusions are very realistic Dan. I like them and think I will utilize a few in my own life...especially #5.
No, you didnt sound harsh at all. I am one for saying what is on my mind and sometimes it comes back to bit me...lol! Yes, I have a past with this guy that is the huge difference here. Hooking back up with him again 16 years later online though just almost seemed like fate or something. I know that sounds stupid and girly...and I dont usually believe in fate, destiny and all that other stuff but at that time in my life (and his he said) it felt that way.
I dont know...