How can I make my sisters understand?

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Tat2me
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/29/2007 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
I have a problem maybe someone can help me out with. I have what my therapist calls a "social phobia" because I am extremly nervous around people except for my wife and children. I can't go to holiday gatherings or reunions and when one of my sisters call and want to go out to eat or something I go into an instant panic attack. I can't even go see my mother in the nursing home for more than 5 minutes or I have an attack. Even if they come to my home I have to go outside to get away from them for a while.
 
I want to spend time with them but I just can't bring myself to do it. How can I get them to understand?
Life has it's ups and downs. Don't stop on the downs and you'll have what it takes to make it up.   - Me


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/29/2007 8:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there,

Are you comfortable with having your sisters to your house for a visit?  Perhaps limit the time of the visit, in your invitation tell them to stop by for an hour etc.

about your Mom, is she alert and oriented, does she realize you can't come?  If she is alert would calling her and talking to her work.  Does she have her own phone or a cell phone or could you family let you know when they are visiting her and call you for her to hook you up to talk?

Let us hear how this is going. Keep posting.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
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liquid
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 9/30/2007 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   

hi Tat,

 I to get anxious and panicy when too many people are around, i find it very overwhelming, and can feel panic attacks coming on. I do an exersice which is clenching and relaxing my fist, (the same as you would if using a stress ball or something similar), also i raise my toes and stretch them then relax them. I've found that this can be relaxing and relieve the anxious moments when too many people are around. I am also currently using this technique when i go outside and there are alot of cars driving by, as that triggers attacks with me as well, Hope that may help you, if not i suggest letting your sisters know exactly what the problem is, if they know they will be able to understand, and may even have ideas to help you through.


suffer from depression, anxiety, agrophobia, alcoholic.


oodles
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/30/2007 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I will give you best advice that I can and I can almost guarantee it will help them understand.
 
I was in the same situation and my boyfriend couldn't understand what the hell was going on and all he would do is complain and think I was making it up or the least exaggerate it.
 
But instead I gave him a book called 'Living with IT' by Bev Aisbett - it was recommended by my counsellor and psychologist. It is the best book for someone to understand anxiety whether you are suffering it or whether you are affected by it.
 
It has really helped him be more understanding and supportinve of me and I can almost guarantee it will help if they are willing to read it. Ijust posted an amazing story about something that happened to me, see if you can read it.
 
Good Luck!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/1/2007 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I am also one that cannot handle too many family members or ppl around me and in my house .............
In my case they KNOW I break out in sores from the Pyoderma and they are getting better at not staying for too long and ALSO keeping my place the way they found id it
I am severe OCD........and I will not allow ppl to touch my nic nacs and things ya know its just me

I have a ROUTINE I follow daily and they have been told this point blank so like I said it is getting better ..........now it seems I need to remind them I barely have an immune system and NOT to bring their sick kids here.........I know am living in Hades with Pneumonia and I have never felt so miserable ....My temp was so high the other night I had a small seizure but came out of it quick
Cait looked after me all night

I think your best bet would be open and honest letting them know it does stress you out ..............yes they can visit but you make the boundaries clear..........

Keep us posted .........

Luvs
LYN


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 10/2/2007 12:22:23 PM (GMT-6)


Tat2me
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 10/1/2007 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone. I'll check that book out, oodles.

Life has it's ups and downs. Don't stop on the downs and you'll have what it takes to make it up.   - Me


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/2/2007 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Great to hear you are gonna check out book
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  

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