Hello and please know that I recognize the place you are in. You have hit some huge bumps in the road. I do believe that you want to help your husband but your fear of being left alone is not unusual. Often a spouse can feel anger toward the one who becomes sick as you need them so much and the idea of being alone is unthinkable.
I really wish you could talk with someone in person. Have you called the Cancer society to see if there is a support group for spouses of patients with cancer. Please check out your options. Your physician should be able to provide you with info for support in your area.
Yes, you can come here for support and to share your feelings, we do not judge and our posts are just that, our own comments. You are the one living this life and anyway we can offer hope and support we will sure try our best.
Keep posting. Gentle Hugs.
How are you today. I will try to pop in and check up on you and if you feel you need to reach me before then just email me.