Newbie dealing with anxiety disorder and husband with cancer

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mariateresa
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 10/2/2007 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,

This is my first time posting on this forum, I usually post on the prostate cancer forum. I'm 44 years old and I have a history of anxiety disorder with a component of OCD. I lost my mom at age 7 and basically live my life in fear of the next trauma or awful mishap. I have not worked in seven years. My husband is 55 and he was recently diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. He just had surgery and the pathology report shows that the cancer has spread outside of the prostate. I'm trying to be positive for him, but failing miserably at it. I have been extremely negative today and I can see that it is not helping my husband at all. From what I have read the prognosis is not so good. I know I should be thinking more of how to be positive and support my husband, but the only thing I can think of is myself. I've been with my husband more than half my life. I see my husband suffering and then dying leaving me as a young widow and destitute and becoming homeless. We are not in a good place financially either. So far this year, our dear sweet cat had to be put to sleep, my only sibling moved out of State with her family, my best friend who was like a dad to me suddenly died, and now my husband is sick. I cannot afford to go to counseling. I just want our lives to go back to the way they used to be. I hope that I can write about my feelings here and receive support. Thank you.

Maria Teresa
Husband Age 55 Maria Teresa age 44
Total PSA 8 on 05/21/07
DRE: prostate bumpy
Biopsy on 07/16/07: 5 out of 8 cores positive, Gleason Score 8 (3+4+5)**
CT of the abd/pelvis; Bone Scan; Xrays done on 08/13/07: Normal
Robotic Surgery Scheduled for September 11, 2007 - Cancelled due to anesthesia complications
Robotic Surgery September 25, 2007
Post Op Gleason 4+5; Positive margin right base of prostate; tumor into seminal vesicle; lymph nodes negative
Next step is the post surgical PSA to determine need for additional treatment

**"Report to the Nation on Prostate Cancer" published by the Prostate Cancer Foundation, page 11: "In some cases, the pathologist might identify a third pattern, which is less common but that has a higher grade than either of the first two patterns that comprised the Gleason score. The presence of this third pattern might indicate that the tumor is more aggressive than the Gleason score would otherwise imply. For example, if a Gleason 4+3 tumor also has some grade 5 cells, the cancer would be considered as being of higher grade disease overall."


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/2/2007 9:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Maria

Hello and please know that I recognize the place you are in.  You have hit some huge bumps in the road.  I do believe that you want to help your husband but your fear of being left alone is not unusual.  Often a spouse can feel anger toward the one who becomes sick as you need them so much and the idea of being alone is unthinkable.

I really wish you could talk with someone in person.  Have you called the Cancer society to see if there is a support group for spouses of patients with cancer. Please check out your options.  Your physician should be able to provide you with info for support in your area.

Yes, you can come here for support and to share your feelings, we do not judge and our posts are just that, our own comments.  You are the one living this life and anyway we can offer hope and support we will sure try our best.

Keep posting.  Gentle Hugs.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 


mariateresa
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 10/2/2007 10:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Kitt. You nailed it right on the head! You identified for me what I couldn't put into words to explain it to myself. I felt part of my brain become organized when I read your post. It feels so much better when someone else can identify with the pain. Thanks for the suggestion, I will check out the Cancer Society for support. And I'm glad I have also found this forum.

Maria Teresa
Husband Age 55 Maria Teresa age 44
Total PSA 8 on 05/21/07
DRE: prostate bumpy
Biopsy on 07/16/07: 5 out of 8 cores positive, Gleason Score 8 (3+4+5)**
CT of the abd/pelvis; Bone Scan; Xrays done on 08/13/07: Normal
Robotic Surgery Scheduled for September 11, 2007 - Cancelled due to anesthesia complications
Robotic Surgery September 25, 2007
Post Op Gleason 4+5; Positive margin right base of prostate; tumor into seminal vesicle; lymph nodes negative
Next step is the post surgical PSA to determine need for additional treatment

**"Report to the Nation on Prostate Cancer" published by the Prostate Cancer Foundation, page 11: "In some cases, the pathologist might identify a third pattern, which is less common but that has a higher grade than either of the first two patterns that comprised the Gleason score. The presence of this third pattern might indicate that the tumor is more aggressive than the Gleason score would otherwise imply. For example, if a Gleason 4+3 tumor also has some grade 5 cells, the cancer would be considered as being of higher grade disease overall."


Danxiety
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 322
   Posted 10/3/2007 1:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Maria_

I'm really sorry to hear about what is going on. I understand (as well) the frustrations, and even acting mean to the other person, without really meaning to...

I'm really sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you find some relief and support while you are going through this...

best_
Dan
---
Anxiety and Panic Disorder.

"Breathe! You Are Alive"
- Thich Nhat Hanh


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/3/2007 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Maria,

How are you today.  I will try to pop in and check up on you and if you feel you need to reach me before then just email me.

Gentle Hugs.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
******www.healingwell.com/donate******
_____________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

 

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