I empathize with you as a phobia is a type of panic attack and truly uncomfortable.
A phobia is a mainly irrational fear of something. It is not an illness. It is not a mental disorder. A phobia can make one's life miserable, cause embarrassment, and undermine self confidence and self esteem. Complex Phobias: a fear of a number of stimuli. In fear of flying, for example, the person may be afraid of crashing, being enclosed in the plane, losing self control etc. Does this sound like you?
The ability to relax, or practice simple meditation, is a natural and valuable ability which we all possess, even though we may not have practiced it for many years. It's an innate skill which most of us have forgotten how to use. As very young children we could relax at will, anywhere: but most adults rely on artificial props to help them relax, such as alcohol, drugs, television, or even comfort-eating.
This may be a good place for you to start, practicing relaxation techniques to use when you find yourself in a situation that is stressful and you want to leave but can not.
Scroll to the bottom of the page and you will see Visit WellnessBooks.com. Click on that and you wil be taken directly to a page to look at and order books.
You might look into this book or others similar to it:
Instant Calm: Over 100 Easy-to-Use Techniques for Relaxing Mind and Body by Paul Wilson
Take care and keep posting.