I just don't know what to do

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wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/30/2007 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
 
I have a huge dilemma going on with my son Jake who is 15 and in the 10th grade.  Jake has had a lot of problems in the last few years - since 5th grade and I had some very tough and horrible decisions to regarding his well-being.  He was suicidal, he ran away several times, he was beating on his sister, and he the last straw was the fact that he set a fire in my house.  During all of these things, I had to admit him to psych wards 4 times within 6 months and had taken out of my house twice in hadncuffs by the police - the last time was when he set the fire.  I then pressed charges against him, which as difficult as that was, it ended up being a blessing in disguise. 
 
Of course during all of thise, I got the Special Education Team at school involved and a whole battery of tests were done.  I've always known that he is a bright kid, but didn't know just how smart he is.  His IQ is very high, he scored higher than average on almost everything.  Because of his intelligence he couldn't be coded for special help.  The only thing that he could be coded for  ws Emotionally Disturbed and this would have made him eligible for an IEP (Individualized Education Plan).  But then I was told, that this particular coding would follow him for a long time - if he want to go into the military, they wouldn't accept based on that.  The same thing with many colleges.  After a lot of thinking and discussions, I opted not to have him coded.  But we did what's called a 504 plan - it's the next step down from an IEP and it doesn't follow him after he graduates.  We put some plans in place to help him.
 
When we finally did get to court, he was taken out of my home and was placed for two into a facility where they did more testing on him and they came up with the same determination - he's very smart but has emotional/behavioral problems.  He even ran away for awhile one night while he was there.  But very destructive - mostly to himself.
 
He was then placed into a facility (Wediko Children's Services) that is for boys.  They have a psychiatrist, nurse, staff that has the proper education to deal behavioral issues in children, and a great school.  After several sessions with the pdoc, as well as him reviewing the history, Jake ended up with a diagnosis of Major Depression with Psychotic Features (he hears voices), as well as the ADHD (we've known about that since he was in 2nd grade and has been on Ritalin).  After trial and error with meds we finally reached the right combination of meds and he improved greatly.  He was there about a year and half and he came for good in August 2006 and what a change!  He was a totally different child than when he went in there.
 
The school they have there is great, the teachers are very good, and the curricullum is pretty much tailored to each child's needs/levels.  They have small classrooms so there aren't many students in each class.  I have said for a very long time that he needs to be in a small classroom setting to reduce the distractions, as he is easily distracted.  He excelled in this school in every area.  When it was time for him to be discharged, the teachers recommended that he be put in the high honors program at the high school he would be attending here.  So we actually did half and half as I concerned about overloading him with too many high expectations along with transitioning back to the mainstream schooling.
 
I know this is a long post and I will actually put it into two posts but I thought it might be easier to get some good opinions if I gave you some history. 

Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety and PTSD
 
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
 

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin

 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/30/2007 2:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Wen

After reading this I am so glad I gave you the advice above.  This is not your fault and you have been doing everything you can but trying to manage your son  alone at home seem like an insumountable task.

You will make yourself ill and than what?  You must take care of you and accept help from the sources available. You are a good person doing all the right things. 

God Bless sweetie.

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/31/2007 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Kitt,
 
Thank you so much for your great advice, it has really put things into perspective for me and you have no idea how much that has helped.I have made an appointment for tomorrow for Jake and I to meet with the Director of the local Charter School and will be taking a tour of the facility.  I have found out that they are a public school and receive funding from the government, so there is no tuition involved.  If there had been tuition involved it would be an automatic no because we just can't afford it.  I am so hoping that we get a good feeling about this place and if we do that he will be accepted.  I honestly believe (and HOPE) that this will be the answer for Jake to be able to succeed in school.  He needs to be in a much smaller school setting than regular High School, because the more students there in each class (usually 20-30 kids) he is totally overwhelmed.
 
Please keep your fingers crossed for us that this will be the answer for him.  As might be expected right now, my anxiety is just right through the roof.
 
Thanks again for you advice and kind words.
 
Take care,
 
Wen
Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety and PTSD
 
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
 

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin

 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/31/2007 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Wen,

I will not only cross my fingers but my toes too.  I hope you do get a good feel for the school and the staff.

Keep us posted and you have my prayers to take with you.

Hugs

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


liquid
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 10/31/2007 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Wen,

I understand how hard things are for you right now as my stepson who is 14 has asd (aperges spectrum disorder) And he can be a right handful at times. He as your son is a very bright young lad but lacks the concentration to do set work at schooland at home.

Hang in there i know its tough, but im thinking of you.

(((((((HUGS)))))))

 


Suffer from major depression, Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Recovering Alcoholic.
 
I have 4 great kids and a wonderfully supportive partner.
 
"There is a light at the end of the tunnel"
 
 

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