I just don't know what to do - part 2

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wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/30/2007 10:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Jake didn't do very well last year, he barely passed some classes but he did get promoted to the 10th grade.  So far this year, he isn't doing well either.  Report cards will come out next week so I will know for sure what his grades are.  But I've been in touch with his teachers via email and so far his grades aren't good.  He's not paying attention, he's not taking notes, he's not turning all of his assignments.  He has also been harrassed by some students at school, which we are working with the Guidance Counselor on.  He feels like a loser, he has only one friend, he feels very picked on, and easily gets distracted by his peers while in class.
 
Now here's the dilemma (after ALL that I just wrote - sorry).  I feel that Jake needs to be in a different school setting where he can excel.  We basically have two options for that to happen - I either home school him or see if I can get him into the local Charter School which also has smaller classes.  I made the mistake of mentioning homeschooling without thinking about it first (it just kinda came out of my mouth before I could stop it- oy!).  Since then he has clung to that idea.  If I were to do this, I would use the same curriculum at the school is using because we really don't have the money to go and buy a whole differnt set of curriculum.  I have placed phone calls to the Guidance Counselor, the Superintendent, and the Director of the Charter School and I am waiting back for phone calls.
 
As you can see by his history, it's been tough for the last few years - which is a good part of the reason for the condition I'm in now.  Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming Jake in any way - it's just the situation that wore me out and left me with nothing to give to anyone, including myself.  No, I didn't take care of myself during all of this - I was very, very focused on Jake.  I had to attend many meetings, had to travel a lot each week, etc.  Every time I had to admit him some place it would be in the wee hours before we got him settled and paperwork signed.  I then had a 2 hour drive home and an hour later go to work.  Please don'w think that I'm whining or complaining, because I'm not - I'm just trying to give the facts.
 
I saw my therapist last night and talked to him about homeschooling and flat out asked him if he thought I am ready to take on such a big thing like this.  I don't feel like I'm ready - I think I would be too anxious to do this properly and the therapist doesn't think I'm ready because my moods and anxiety are up and down every day.  What does anyone here suggest?  I am open to suggestions, thoughts, whatever.  I'm looking for some guidance. 
 
Thanks for you help and support.
 
Wen

Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety and PTSD
 
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
 

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin

 


hopeisreal
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 345
   Posted 10/30/2007 11:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Wen--I am by no means an expert---but, you mentioned a charter school? Have you talked with them about their program? Maybe explaining to Jake that maybe it would be good to go to school with some kids (not a lot, like in his current school)----so he can 'get a change of scene' may be OK with him?

I, personally, would never be able to home school my children! I give a TOn of credit to people that do! The things children learn today (even my oldest--the 4th grade math is insanely difficult)---I wouldn't be able to teach MY children correctly----I am by no means saying you wouldn't be able to, I am saying for myself!

I guess---the Charter School----maybe look into it---and see what types of guidance they would give your son---who has some special circumstances---to help him excel! He may end up liking a smaller school environment---being around some kids---just not a lot of kids!?

I don't know if I am helping----but, I can only send you good wishes -- this must be very difficult for you---and him----and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.....

Laurel

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/30/2007 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Laurel, yes you have helped.

I actually just got off the phone with the Director of the Charter School and we have an appointment tomorrow morning to meet, discuss things, take a look around, etc.  Jake will be going with me too.  I know he does so much better in a smaller class setting.  So we shall see what becomes of it.  I'll let you know what happens.

Take care,

Wen


Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety and PTSD
 
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
 

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin

 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/30/2007 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Wen,

Hey there, I am sorry your in this spot.  You are not whining, you are in need of support and that is why we are here. Please remember I am not an expert on homeschooling and many people love it. But just looking at your individual situation this would be how I would make my decision.

If you honestly don’t want to homeschool your child, if you suspect that you will resent the time and effort that is involved in homeschooling, or if you believe that the socialization aspect of public schooling is at least as important as the academic aspect, then you should not allow yourself to be talked into homeschooling. Most likely, the result will not be satisfactory for either you or your son.

It’s possible to homeschool without research, but that’s like parenting without thinking about why you make your choices. So, once you’ve decided to homeschool, you will be spending just as much time as your son with your nose in a book, or doing on-site research. In fact, in the beginning, you’ll probably be learning a lot more than your son is.  That is a very tiring.
 
I think looking into the alternative school may be your best choice first.
I know this is a decision you will have to make yourself as your son is sold on the idea of home schooling. It looks more appealing to him than struggling in a social situation.
 
I hope this has helped some. Bless you and keep posting.  You are a great Mother..................
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
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It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/30/2007 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kitt,
 
Some of the issues you pointed out I have thought ofm others I hadn't.  I really don't think I want to homeschool him (wish I hadn't even said it, but too late now).  I really do think the Charter School would be our best bet and I think/hope he would do well there.  We are going tomorrow moring to meet with the Director.  I'll let you know how it goes.
 
Thank you for your kind words about me being a good mother - I don't really feel that I'm doing anything out of the ordinary.  I just feel that as parents we need to advocate for our kids, because if we don't no one else will.
 
Take care,
 
Wen
Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety and PTSD
 
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
 

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin

 

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