Kitt, I actually started telling people. I started with my mom, but I didnt get really far! Then, my best friend, who didnt understand at all. She was lost and had no idea what I was talking about. Then, I told my school counselor. She wants to help I think, but I don't think she fully understands how bad it is for me. Mostly because it is hard for me to let it show. Sometimes I think it really isn't that bad, but it is. And it is hard for me to show it. I don't want people to know that I am not as strong as I seem to be. But, no one is perfect, we all have weaknesses. I guess this is mine.
So, I still go talk to her, once a week now for about 3 months. She still doesn't know everything though. I have a very hard time opening up in person. Then, I told my other best friend. That is where I hit gold! She understood and come to find out she has gone through some of the same things! She knows what I am talking about! She constantly lets me know she is there for me. I don't know what I would do without her. Just last night, I had something happen, I text her anytime I need her and we will text for hours at a time. She helps me talk through whatever is going on. I couldn't do it without her. She is encouraging me to speak up, but not pushing me.
I am sure, one day it will happen. I hate to hide it, but its hard for me to accept my weakness. So, luckily I have her for now. And you guys of course! I let her know how much she means to me and how much I appreciate her being there for me. Which is good, because I trust her and I can tell her anything and she will understand.
Just not sure how I will tell my parents. Or family. And how they will respond to it.
So, thanks guys. Take care!