I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now. I've been where you are before, not with a medication rebound, but deep in anxiety that lasts every minute of the day and is pure torture. As Mitcl said, it does take time to get through the bad periods again, but you will get through it, it just takes some work on your part. Keep working with your cbt, breathing, relaxation,etc. and another good point mitcl made was to read. I read books on p/a constantly when I was going through the worst of it a year ago. I had my daughter pick up about 7 books from the library that I read and of course I always have my Claire Weekes books close at hand. It keeps your mind occupied as well as gives you information on what's going on with your p/a which to me was comforting.
Keep coming here and posting, we're all here to help you through this. And you WILL get through it!
Thanks guys, my psych just doesn't like benzos he believes they're addictive and you need more and more to control your anxiety.
I try to read but with the dizziness and anxiety my eyes are having trouble focusing properly, all I can really do is lay there and think...the worst thing to do but all my body will allow atm.
I know both the mental and physical are combining to make me feel twice as bad.
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/24/2007 5:42:48 AM (GMT-7)
Lyn I feel like I'm going crazy, I don't think I can live like this any longer. I can't even walk out of my front door without everything closing in on me. I haven't driven for about 8 weeks and can't imagine doing it again. I can't get ready for Xmas and the kids have lots of parties and formals to go to and I'm having to say no which isn't fair on them either.
I think I'm going to take valium, if it means finding another psych so be it. I really can't go on 'not living' in a world of fear and non stop crazy thoughts eating away at me. I'm not even living a halve life atm it feels so bad.
Post Edited (Aussieangel) : 11/29/2007 3:56:03 AM (GMT-7)
I am so sorry I have not been here for you but I am now. You know you have rights and I would strongly suggest you talk to your Pdoc and explain that you need the Valium to get through the rebound anxiety.
Living in this terrible pain is not good and if you can get relief than your Pdoc needs to help you. Be your own best advocate and firmly tell your Pdoc what it feels like to be you.
Bless you sweetie and know I am here for you.
I can't say anything better than has already been posted aussie, but I've been in a place a bit like you before and it's the worst place, it's so bad I've blocked it. My heart goes out to you. I really think that doc's who won't prescribe benzo's are power trippers. If you think you need them, you should have them. I know you are incredibly sensible and won't abuse them.
Is there someone else you can see? Someone who could give you something to "break the cycle" of this anxiety episode? I'm not advocating benzo use here, I just believe we should have the right to make our own decision and you really need a break here sweetie. Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
I DO KNOW how you feel! My extreme anxiety was not from med rebound though. I remember how I felt like I couldn't take it for another minute, much less another day! But I did and that's the clincher. I'd force myself to go and do, no matter what, because I was afraid of becoming agoraphobic. Thus I used my fear to fight my fear! It sounds like to me that you have GAD with panic disorder along with it. That's me too.
When I was originally diagnosed, it was early 1993. I was blessed to have a shrink that was NOT afraid of Xanax! He actually let me go up to 6 mg a day! When I think back to it, I'm still in shock! No doctor that I know of now will do that. They're all so anti-benzos. I seriously believe that benzos have a place in the treatment of anxiety. I have days when the anxiety comes back on me and it is he**. A couple of weeks ago I had a bad few days, but managed to not use any xanax. The time before that when I had a bad spell was in late September. I just couldn't shake the anxiety, so after a couple of days of trying to do it w/o xanax, I decided that enough was enough and I took a half of a tablet to help me stop the downward spiral. It seemed to help me get back on track by giving me a break from the strain! Anyhow, I go months at a time w/o taking xanax, but am not adverse to it as long as I can honestly tell myself that I've tried a decent amount of time to fight it on my own terms before resorting to it. It also helps the anxiety better because by only taking xanax occassionally, my body has not built up any tolerance to it.
I am a firm believer in Claire Weekes books too. She made more sense to me than any other self-help book ever did.
You take care and know that you WILL get thru this. They say that war is he** and this is a war. Take it one battle at a time.
Double sigh! I agree with that. my current doctor can't believe that it was me that decided to cut down in the end. They think we're hopeless just because we panic! Arrgh!
Hope all is going better Aussie, hugs
Thanks guys for replying. My anxiety is so bad I wake up and dry retch for 20minutes then feel so anxious all day even taking valium. I think I'd need to take 30mgs of valium for it to make a difference.
I found an old scrip for clonazepam, hubbies gone to try to get it filled. If I get it I've decided to go back onto it. I was on a really high dose before but will try .5mg x 3 times a day.
I had to go to hospital the other day as I was so distressed by the anxiety, they wanted to admit me again but I refused as I would have still felt the same as they wouldn't change my meds anyway. Even the psych there told my hubby and me with the state I'm in I have no quality of life yet they won't do anything as they don't like to step on your psychs toes.
I see my psych on Thursday which will be confronting when he finds out, my hubby just got back so I'm going to start now please God let this be it.
Aussie, my heart goes out to you, it really does. I wish there was more that could be done for PA and anxiety sufferers, but for now we sem to be one big enigma for doctors who kep shuffling us around and throw their hands up when things don't go to THEIR plan. Please don't think I'm being condescending or rude, but there are some of us who have come through this battle 9slowly but surely. It can be done and I believe you can get through this. Just try and get through the moments slowly and don't think too far ahead.
As for the dry retching, I used to do that as well and couldn't keep down meds or anything. Just try and keep your fluids up with sugared drinks or sweet tea and keep breathing. I have my toes, fingers and eyes all crossed for you making it through this episode soon.
Thanks Meg. I'm currently taking .2 twice a day, I'll let you all know how it goes with the psych tomorrow.
I feel a bit calmer but still not fully under control but at least it's a start to feeling normal again.
Hi guys, I saw my psych 2 weeks ago and he admitted me straight back into hospital as my anxiety won't stop. He won't give me anything for it and my anxiety is running wild. No patient in hospital can believe what I'm being put through. I came home for leave yesterday and struggled so much but todays even worse, I'm going to be in hospital for Xmas and I have kids.
I'm being told I'm in psychological withdrawal well I've been in it for 4 weeks and still counting.
Oh my Aussie,
I am so sorry for you sweetie, this is just not good............what are they referring to with the "psychological withdrawal"? Psychological dependency is a dependency of the mind, and leads to psychological withdrawal symptoms (such as cravings, irritability, insomnia, depression, anorexia etc).
How are they helping you to get through this? It seems like they must have some sort of treatment modality. (((((((((HUGS)))))))))).
I am so sorry about your Christmas without your children. I will pray for you my friend and hope that you soon find relief of this terrible anquish that you are going through.
Please know we are all here for you and your never alone, we are here and thinking of your and always supporting you.
You are special.
Keep a paper bag with you and when you start to hyperventilate, use it.
I am going to put this in here for all...............information only.....I am not a professioanl.
Hyperventilation is "breathing fast," or overbreathing is commonly caused my anxiety.
Breathe into a paper bag. This has long been the primary treatment for hyperventilation. The theory is that rebreathing into a paper bag will allow you to replace the carbon dioxide "blown off" while hyperventilating.
Blowing into a paper bag is fine, if you've hyperventilated before, been evaluated by a doctor, and are sure there is nothing seriously wrong. Most people who hyperventilate meet that criteria, but a few may have more severe problems. Let Your Doctor Diagnose if this is new to you. Reference: Medical and Surgical Nursing; Willimas and Hopper
Your in my prayers, Aussie, and on my radar so I will be back later to check in on you.