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Aussieangel
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 11/25/2007 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   
My life is a living hell, almost 3 weeks ago I stopped the clonazepam in hospital which happened too easily. I left hospital physically ill, I saw a specialist and found out I had viral labrynthitis. Basically constant dizziness and nausea I'm now in my 4th week of it. To top things off last week my psych decided to swap my anti psych med zyprexa to seroquel. Last Sunday I lost it and hubby had to take me to hospital where I spent 2 nights before being put back on zyprexa.
 
I was told things would return to normal, well they haven't my anxiety is endless all day long and even if I wake during the night my body is in a constant high agitation. I saw my psych who told me to live with it as it's rebound anxiety from the withdrawal. I'm not suppose to take any valium but I can take extra zyprexa which then makes me sleep between 12 and 15 hours a day.
 
I can't stand this any longer, has anyone been through this? It's not fair on my hubby and kids or me. It's just eating away at me, I feel like I will lose it, it's so scary and it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

mitcl74
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 11/25/2007 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you are going through this.  I've gone thru severe periods of panic that took months to get over.  It is hard work and it is very scary to live thru it.  Let your family help you and follow what the doctors tell you.  Having a physical illness with it must be tough.
 
No matter how gloomy things get, you aren't alone.  Once you realize that, it makes the journey more tolerable.  You will have bad days, but knowing you aren't the only one in the world suffering w/ it may give you comfort.  It sux for all of us and I don't wish this on anyone, but finding online support groups got me thru this when it happened to me years ago.  I also bought MANY books and did a lot of self help and went to a psychiatrist and did Cognitive behaviour therapy.
 
I wish you well and I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.
 
Laurie

TammyGrl0528
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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 11/26/2007 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Aussie...I have been around a while, and should prolly know the answer to this question, but why did they even wanna take you off the Clonazepam? I don't understand what is going on there.

I am sorry I have no help to offer, as I have never been through this. I hope to never go through this, as it sounds awful, and I am sorry you are going through it now.

I hope you start feeling better soon!
 GERD Forum Moderator
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Junebug05
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 11/26/2007 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   

Aussie,

I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now.  I've been where you are before, not with a medication rebound, but deep in anxiety that lasts every minute of the day and is pure torture.  As Mitcl said, it does take time to get through the bad periods again, but you will get through it, it just takes some work on your part.   Keep working with your cbt, breathing, relaxation,etc. and another good point mitcl made was to read.  I read books on p/a constantly when I was going through the worst of it a year ago.  I had my daughter pick up about 7 books from the library that I read and of course I always have my Claire Weekes books close at hand.  It keeps your mind occupied as well as gives you information on what's going on with your p/a which to me was comforting.

Keep coming here and posting, we're all here to help you through this.  And you WILL get through it!


Aussieangel
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 11/26/2007 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks guys, my psych just doesn't like benzos he believes they're addictive and you need more and more to control your anxiety.

I try to read but with the dizziness and anxiety my eyes are having trouble focusing properly, all I can really do is lay there and think...the worst thing to do but all my body will allow atm.

I know both the mental and physical are combining to make me feel twice as bad.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/27/2007 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
IMHO.....Something should have been given to help with the rebound Anxiety hun and I cannot imagine what you are going thru and how it makes you feel

I honestly cannot see where a valium occasionally would hurt ....but thats my opinion.......


Please know am thinking about you wishing you some quick control asap

Luvs
LYN


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        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
 
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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/24/2007 5:42:48 AM (GMT-7)


Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 11/29/2007 3:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Lyn I feel like I'm going crazy, I don't think I can live like this any longer. I can't even walk out of my front door without everything closing in on me. I haven't driven for about 8 weeks and can't imagine doing it again. I can't get ready for Xmas and the kids have lots of parties and formals to go to and I'm having to say no which isn't fair on them either.

I think I'm going to take valium, if it means finding another psych so be it. I really can't go on 'not living' in a world of fear and non stop crazy thoughts eating away at me. I'm not even living a halve life atm it feels so bad.

My neighbour who hasn't seen me in weeks commented today that I've dropped a real lot of weight in a couple of weeks, between the nausea and the anxiety it's no wonder.

Post Edited (Aussieangel) : 11/29/2007 3:56:03 AM (GMT-7)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/29/2007 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Aussie,

I am so sorry I have not been here for you but I am now.  You know you have rights and I would strongly suggest you talk to your Pdoc and explain that you need the Valium to get through the rebound anxiety.

Living in this terrible pain is not good and if you can get relief than your Pdoc needs to help you.  Be your own best advocate and firmly tell your Pdoc what it feels like to be you.

Bless you sweetie and know I am here for you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
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Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 11/29/2007 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt, I took a valium after breakfast and made myself drive home from the shops with hubby next to me. It's a start at least. I spoke to hubby and told him I would go back onto valium though the lunch one would be zyprexa instead and I needed his backup for when I saw the psych next.
He agreed, I think because I didn't say I wanted to go to hospital he was happy with me going back on valium. I'm going to take it twice a day so there's a steady stream in my body and see if that relieves the anxiety.

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 11/30/2007 9:48 PM (GMT -7)   

I can't say anything better than has already been posted aussie, but I've been in a place a bit like you before and it's the worst place, it's so bad I've blocked it.  My heart goes out to you.  I really think that doc's who won't prescribe benzo's are power trippers.  If you think you need them, you should have them.  I know you are incredibly sensible and won't abuse them. 

Is there someone else you can see? Someone who could give you something to "break the cycle" of this anxiety episode? I'm not advocating benzo use here, I just believe we should have the right to make our own decision and you really need a break here sweetie. Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.


I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


janetlee
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Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 12/1/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Aussie,

I DO KNOW how you feel! My extreme anxiety was not from med rebound though. I remember how I felt like I couldn't take it for another minute, much less another day! But I did and that's the clincher. I'd force myself to go and do, no matter what, because I was afraid of becoming agoraphobic. Thus I used my fear to fight my fear! It sounds like to me that you have GAD with panic disorder along with it. That's me too.

When I was originally diagnosed, it was early 1993. I was blessed to have a shrink that was NOT afraid of Xanax! He actually let me go up to 6 mg a day! When I think back to it, I'm still in shock! No doctor that I know of now will do that. They're all so anti-benzos. I seriously believe that benzos have a place in the treatment of anxiety. I have days when the anxiety comes back on me and it is he**. A couple of weeks ago I had a bad few days, but managed to not use any xanax. The time before that when I had a bad spell was in late September. I just couldn't shake the anxiety, so after a couple of days of trying to do it w/o xanax, I decided that enough was enough and I took a half of a tablet to help me stop the downward spiral. It seemed to help me get back on track by giving me a break from the strain! Anyhow, I go months at a time w/o taking xanax, but am not adverse to it as long as I can honestly tell myself that I've tried a decent amount of time to fight it on my own terms before resorting to it. It also helps the anxiety better because by only taking xanax occassionally, my body has not built up any tolerance to it.

I am a firm believer in Claire Weekes books too. She made more sense to me than any other self-help book ever did.

You take care and know that you WILL get thru this. They say that war is he** and this is a war. Take it one battle at a time.

hugs,

janet


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nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/1/2007 7:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Janetlee, I had a very similar experience, my shrink believed in benzos and I was on 6mg a day as well..now that the major war has been fought and won I just take a half mg every so often as needed.  Interesting how we can be trusted isn't it :-) ??!! Aussie, keep up the fight, you can do this, you really can xx
I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted Today 12:53 AM (GMT -7)   
nervymeg said...
Hey Janetlee, I had a very similar experience, my shrink believed in benzos and I was on 6mg a day as well..now that the major war has been fought and won I just take a half mg every so often as needed.  Interesting how we can be trusted isn't it :-) ??!! Aussie, keep up the fight, you can do this, you really can xx

Meg,
I hear ya! Folks with anxiety disorders are usually NOT likely to become addicted cuz they're AFRAID of being addicted! I am the one that weaned myself off the xanax and the shrinks I have now seldom can get that thru their thick little heads! SIGH!
janet
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Would you?
See here...
 


nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted Today 4:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Double sigh! I agree with that.  my current doctor can't believe that it was me that decided to cut down in the end.  They think we're hopeless just because we panic! Arrgh!

Hope all is going better Aussie, hugs


I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


Aussieangel
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted Today 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks guys for replying. My anxiety is so bad I wake up and dry retch for 20minutes then feel so anxious all day even taking valium. I think I'd need to take 30mgs of valium for it to make a difference.

I found an old scrip for clonazepam, hubbies gone to try to get it filled. If I get it I've decided to go back onto it. I was on a really high dose before but will try .5mg x 3 times a day.

I had to go to hospital the other day as I was so distressed by the anxiety, they wanted to admit me again but I refused as I would have still felt the same as they wouldn't change my meds anyway. Even the psych there told my hubby and me with the state I'm in I have no quality of life yet they won't do anything as they don't like to step on your psychs toes.

I see my psych on Thursday which will be confronting when he finds out, my hubby just got back so I'm going to start now please God let this be it.


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/4/2007 4:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Aussie, my heart goes out to you, it really does.  I wish there was more that could be done for PA and anxiety sufferers, but for now we sem to be one big enigma for doctors who kep shuffling us around and throw their hands up when things don't go to THEIR plan.  Please don't think I'm being condescending or rude, but there are some of us who have come through this battle 9slowly but surely. It can be done and I believe you can get through this.  Just try and get through the moments slowly and don't think too far ahead.

As for the dry retching, I used to do that as well and couldn't keep down meds or anything.  Just try and keep your fluids up with sugared drinks or sweet tea and keep breathing.  I have my toes, fingers and eyes all crossed for you making it through this episode soon.


I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 12/5/2007 4:15 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Meg. I'm currently taking .2 twice a day, I'll let you all know how it goes with the psych tomorrow.

I feel a bit calmer but still not fully under control but at least it's a start to feeling normal again.


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 12/5/2007 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Soo glad to hear you are feeling even a tinier bit better aussie.  Keep sane !! (easy said I know) and let us know how you are doing with the psych tommorow.
Isn't normal just the best thing?
I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 12/19/2007 3:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi guys, I saw my psych 2 weeks ago and he admitted me straight back into hospital as my anxiety won't stop. He won't give me anything for it and my anxiety is running wild. No patient in hospital can believe what I'm being put through. I came home for leave yesterday and struggled so much but todays even worse, I'm going to be in hospital for Xmas and I have kids.

I'm being told I'm in psychological withdrawal well I've been in it for 4 weeks and still counting.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/19/2007 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh my Aussie,

I am so sorry for you sweetie, this is just not good............what are they referring to with the  "psychological withdrawal"?  Psychological  dependency is a dependency of the mind, and leads to psychological withdrawal symptoms (such as cravings, irritability, insomnia, depression, anorexia etc).

How are they helping you to get through this?  It seems like they must have some sort of treatment modality.  (((((((((HUGS)))))))))).

I am so sorry about your Christmas without your children.  I will pray for you my friend and hope that you soon find relief of this terrible anquish that you are going through.

Please know we are all here for you and your never alone, we are here and thinking of your and always supporting you.

You are special.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 12/24/2007 2:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kitt, I had a falling out with my psych so I've left hospital on Xmas eve. Coming home in the car was a nightmare I was hyperventilating so much my mind was going nuts from lack of oxygen. I felt like I was dead and was in some sort of limbo, I still feel that way a bit even though rationally I know that I'm alive..... that's how bad the anxiety is.
 
 

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/24/2007 5:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Aussie
I am hoping you have some Valium at home or were able to have the old RX filled of klonies

I am sorry you are being put thru the ringers of the GD healthcare sysytem
YOU dont need this
My heart thoughts and prayers are with you

Love '
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
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  CO-Moderator@ Crohns
       Anxiety/Panic
  Moderator@ Alzheimer's
DX @ Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum ,Anxiety /Panic
New DX of C.O.P.D.
ON too Many meds to post.........
 
        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
 
                 Happy Holiday From My Home To Yours
      Please Stay Safe and Have  a Designated Driver .........
                           LYN N CAIT
 
 
                            


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/24/2007 10:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Aussie,

Keep a paper bag with you and when you start to hyperventilate, use it.

I am going to put this in here for all...............information only.....I am not a professioanl.

Hyperventilation is "breathing fast," or overbreathing is commonly caused my anxiety.

Breathe into a paper bag. This has long been the primary treatment for hyperventilation. The theory is that rebreathing into a paper bag will allow you  to replace the carbon dioxide "blown off" while hyperventilating.

Blowing into a paper bag is fine, if you've hyperventilated before, been evaluated by a doctor, and are sure there is nothing seriously wrong. Most people who hyperventilate meet that criteria, but a few may have more severe problems.  Let Your Doctor Diagnose if this is new to you. Reference: Medical and Surgical Nursing; Willimas and Hopper

Your in my prayers, Aussie, and on my radar so I will be back later to check in on you.

Hugs

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 12/24/2007 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou both, it's Xmas day here and I'm finding it hard to be happy for the kids. Why won't this anxiety go away?

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/24/2007 4:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry sweetie
I wish it could just for you for this day ya know ........

My heart is with you
Great suggesstion Lil sis

Luvs
Lyn
Love'
Big Sis
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  CO-Moderator@ Crohns
       Anxiety/Panic
  Moderator@ Alzheimer's
DX @ Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum ,Anxiety /Panic
New DX of C.O.P.D.
ON too Many meds to post.........
 
        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
 
                 Happy Holiday From My Home To Yours
      Please Stay Safe and Have  a Designated Driver .........
                           LYN N CAIT
 
 
                            

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