anxiety and religion

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boxcastle
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/15/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I have just turned 20. As you may know from my other posts, i have been suffering from anxiety, depression and panic disorder over the past year and became agraphobic for about 6 months. I am on quite a lot of prozac and am starting to get my life back, but i am still very troubled with OCD. I don't know if these symptoms are actually ocd related, because my therapist and doctor only touched on it with me, as panic disorder was the main problem i talked about, because it stopped me functioning altogether.
 
I get these times, well pretty much all the time every day to be honest, where i feel like i need to pray or bad things will happen. I have a kind of set prayer that consists of things i feel are important at the time, and i kind of recite it i my head, and if it do it wrong or get distracted, i have to start again. Trouble is, the more i try not to get it wrong, the more stressed and anxcious i get, and then as a result, i get it wrong and have to start again. Then sometimes i just can't do it right because i'm trying too hard, and i actually have to go somewhere quiet and do it out loud.
 
Then it gets worse, i feel like i can't pray infront of any reflective surfaces because the prayer will be reversed and i will be praying to evil instead. I can tell myself or be told that this is just stupid, but it doesn't matter, its completely beyond my controll.
 
My head feels FULL to the brim with thoughts, but its more like just noise, and when i lay in bed and try to sleep, it can feel so hard to shut down.
 
My dad died very unexpectedly in July, and then just this week my friend from my old school died. She was only 19, i can't actually belive she is gone, she was always a wonderful friend to me. I don't know what to do. I feel like if i do anything at all bad, i will get punished. I am a bisexual male, so even when i see a male as attractive, i feel i imedietly have to ask for forgiveness. I need someone to step inside my head and direct the traffic.
 
I don't know what i am trying to get out of this, i think i just needed to vent, i don;t think i can really talk to anyone about this here, I'm not sure they understand or know how serious its getting. I don't want to see my therapist again. I just want religion to be a comfort to me, like i know it can be for other people. I feel relationships with God to be very important, but i feel like mental illness is ruining mine.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/15/2007 4:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Boxcastle,

Hey there, this is Kitt.  Please reread what you posted here and then perhaps you will see that you are IMHO OCDing about many things and now you have focused on religion.

If you took the time to write this post you were looking for help.  I believe the best person to help you is your therapist.  If you have a trusting relationship with your therapist you will want to talk about this religious concern. You have OCD which falls under anxiety so please talk with your therapist.

I do not think you will do well if you quit working with your therapist. Remember I am not a professional.  I am sure others will have comments for you. :)

Take care.

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 12/15/2007 10:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Boxcastle and BIG HUGGGSSSS. So sorry about your losses dear and know that you are not alone!!

Talk to your therapist or perhaps keep seeing the therapist and look into other ones to see if there is someone else you like.

I too seem to have undiagnosed OCD as I cannot say something that I might regret without knocking on wood after. If there isn't wood around ... I knock on anything and say "whatever might be made of wood in this... car... office..." you get the idea.

I also check door locks repeatedly. It used to be so bad I'd unlock and lock them again until I felt satisfied that every door in the house was secure enough to go to sleep.

I had a lot of problems at night with getting my brain to shut off too... which is why I started doing breathing and relaxation techniques which you can find at www.pe2000.com They can be quite helpful in times of panic or anxiety.

I would suggest seeing the therapist more often to talk about this issue of OCD... if she / he won't... then find a new one... but don't stop seeing a therapist altogether. Heck if I COULD see one I would but I have no health insurance.

Take care and *BIG HUGS*

TG~
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
 
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
 
 
 
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/17/2007 8:05 AM (GMT -7)   
HI ther
I am severe OCD with doors and many other things but I am working thru this with CBT..........
I have to have all things around me be balanced even nic nacs and pictures .....frames same size ect you get the picture I would think ..........
YES you need to re read what you have posted ...you are becoming severely and I think dangerously OCD about Religion........
HE gets you the first time knows what you mean and understands what you mean ........

Being Bisexual is not a sin IMHO ........United Church and others marry same sex ppl all the time here in Ontario ,Canada...........

PLEASE do bring this all up to your therapist I honestly believe that this is extrememely important to your recovery ..............

Keep us posted and I am so sorry about your friend ...that is so hard to deal with .........
WE are here for you .........

Luvs and
God BLess
LYN
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        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
      
 
 
                            


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/17/2007 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning,

Hope you have had a chance to read the posts here and that you know how much we care.

Keep on posting :)  There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of A & P and still being able to be anonymous.

Gentle Hugs to you.

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/17/2007 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Well said my lil sis

I do hope you are reading and knowing you are not being judged here ....only accepted and supported ............LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
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  CO-Moderator@ Crohns
       Anxiety/Panic
  Moderator@ Alzheimer's
DX @ Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum ,Anxiety /Panic
New DX of C.O.P.D.
ON too Many meds to post.........
 
        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
      
 
 
                            


boxcastle
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 12/17/2007 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello all,
Thank you so much for your support, i honestly don't know what i would have done without this forum over the passed 5 months, it has really saved me on quite a few occasions i think.

I read what you all said, and you have really eased my mind and gave me something to think about. I think when my doctor is back in the village i will see her and talk to her about the OCD, see if i can get some more therapy because it really is getting a strain.

LYN i really really really appriciated what you said, thank you so much, i felt a very big change in myself after readig what you had to say.

thanks everyone.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/17/2007 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey boxcastle,

I am so glad you have read and that what Lyn posted to you has helped, she is truly awesome. 

Please keep posting as staying in touch will help you stay grounded and know you are among friends.

Bless you

Kitt


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/20/2007 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Checking in to see how you are doing ......Glad I could help you out .....it is the TRUTH my friend.......no judgement ..only support and caring and acceptance........always

LUVS
LYN

MERRY CHRISTMAS
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
                          http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
 
  CO-Moderator@ Crohns
       Anxiety/Panic
  Moderator@ Alzheimer's
DX @ Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum ,Anxiety /Panic
New DX of C.O.P.D.
ON too Many meds to post.........
 
        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
      
 
 
                            

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