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mark's angel
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5

Posted 9/12/2009 3:38 PM (GMT -7)

well its been a not so good week, i am 29 female and this week iv had 2 positive results one in st marys london and one the next day in chichester,
Iv not had my cd4 or viral load back yet

about a month ago the doc said i had sine flu i got real sick and was covered in a rash i was tested then and was neg so the said swine flu now a month on iv tested positive so im guessing i didnt have swine flu it must of been my seroconversion

feeling real low this week and kinda in a daze

and its like knowone knows what to say other than sorry

but iv got a good partner so that gives me some comfort

angel [img]/community/emoticons/confused.gif[/img]

Post Edited By Moderator (James C.) : 9/13/2009 11:30:25 AM (GMT-6)

TalktomeHIV
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1508

Posted 9/12/2009 5:27 PM (GMT -7)

Welcome to the forum angel!

I can imagine you have a lot of things running through your mind right now, but I encourage you to try and keep as bright an outlook on things as you can. If you were recently infected, then testing positive early is a very good thing. The sooner you know, the better you can work on keeping healthy and staying that way. You're a step ahead of the millions of people who go year after year not knowing their status until they get very ill.

Please stick around and feel free to talk about anything that's concerning you, and give us an update when your CD4 and viral load come back.

Now is the time to make good use of the supports in your life. Please let us know if you need any guidance along the way.

James C.
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 924

Posted 9/12/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)

angel, it's been a bad week for you, but you've found a good place to be. Welcome. Stay with the forum, ask anything, or for any help you need.

James C.
Co-Moderator

ivy6
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 6028

Posted 9/12/2009 6:07 PM (GMT -7)

Hi there Angel. Welcome to HealingWell. You *are* very welcome here, and I hope that we will be able to help you through this difficult time, as you start your journey with this illness.

I would be very interested to know what your thinking and feeling at the moment. People often experience a range of conflicting emotions shortly after being diagnosed with a serious illness, and it can be very confusing and upsetting to be experiencing so many emotions at once.

So: how are you emotionally? Are you managing to do important things like eat and sleep? Can you relax, or are you feeling very keyed-up and tense?

Hang in there... and welcome, again.

Ivy.

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Judy2
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 4172

Posted 9/12/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -7)

Welcome to HealingWell, Angel.

I'm sorry you have tested positive, but remember that knowledge is power. Knowing that you're positive so soon allows you to educate yourself and establish that healthy lifestyle that will help protect your general health.

It's good that you have the support of your partner, and now you have friends here to support you also. Remember to be good to yourself as you set out on this new journey of learning how to live with HIV.

Judy

Ulcerative colitis forum co-moderator

Moderate to severe left-sided UC diagnosed 2001. Flared for 5 years, finally in remission with Remicade since March 2006. Colazal, Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri.

Avascular necrosis in both shoulders is my "forever" gift from steroids.

Chronic joint/connective tissue/muscle pain; TKR 05/09

"My life is an ongoing medical adventure"

stkitt
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 18028

Posted 9/12/2009 8:18 PM (GMT -7)

Dear Mark's Angel,

Welcome to HealingWell and the AIDS - HIV Forum. This is Kitt.

I can't even begin to imagine what thoughts are running through your head right now. I am glad you came here and that you are talking to us. I am always here if you need support.

You're not alone.

Many Gentle Hugs to you,

Kitt

Kitt,
^{Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn}^{Anxiety/Panic,}^{& Depression}^*~*^{http://www.healingwell.com/donate}^*~*
^{"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."}
^{DX: Anxiety, Depression, Osteoarthritis, GERD, Raynaud's syndrome, Skin Cancer and IBS}
Not a mental health professional of any kind

Pink Grandma
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1584

Posted 9/12/2009 9:33 PM (GMT -7)

Hi Marks Angel and welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry about your diagnosis but you have found the right forum. The moderators for this forum are very educated on HIV. I am not one of the moderators though. I just felt the need to welcome you.
Communicating with others who understand your illness and know what your are experiencing is priceless. I know that it was a very scary thing to do ........posting for the first time. It took me a couple of weeks of lurking before I got up the nerve to post for the first time. HealingWell has been a lifesaver for me personally.

Take care.........thoughts and prayers..........

Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.

sincere1on1
New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 9

Posted 9/12/2009 9:40 PM (GMT -7)

Hey there!... I just wanted to say that I am sorry to hear about your bad news. I wish that you were not going through what you are going through at the moment.

It may be hard to see this at the moment and in time but you will understand better. You are very lucky... so much has changed over the years with HIV/AIDS. We have come a long ways from where we once were. There are so many medications to help with keeping you healthy. There is so much support now for those of us that are going through this. This place is just one!

As hard as it is... take a deep breath and try hard not to let this stand in you way of living your life. Focus on your health and the best word of advise I can offer you is that do every thing in your power to keep as much stress out of your life as possible. Stress really does effect this. Focus on finding inner peace and pamper yourself as much as you can.

My best wishes always...

Just,

Sincere1on1

Pink Grandma
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1584

Posted 9/12/2009 9:58 PM (GMT -7)

Very well said Sincere!!!!

Take care.........thoughts and prayers......

Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.

mark's angel
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5

Posted 9/13/2009 12:41 AM (GMT -7)

hi there thanks for all your kind words, its been a tough week and my heads all over the place so many disisions to make and not knowing what to do
my doc says that some people now with new infection like me start taking meds for just a few months to drop the viral load and raise cd4 then the stop they think this may stop cd4 dropping so quick later in infection what do you guys think??
i new there was always chance i may get infected as my partner has been hiv+ since late 2006
but this news is still deverstating
marks numbers are
cd4 376
vl 110.000
cd8 900
any help and advise is so helpfull and so glad i found this forum
angel

TalktomeHIV
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1508

Posted 9/13/2009 7:51 AM (GMT -7)

The first thing I would suggest is to get in touch with an HIV specialist. Sometimes people like to stick with their primary for their HIV care as well, but truthfully the best thing you can do to start is get your advice around HIV care from a specialist. You can still continue seeing your primary doctor for general health related things, but specialists tend to be more up to date on the latest in HIV care.

There are a few different medical theories regarding HIV care. The best thing you can do for yourself is talk to a specialist about all of them, so that you can make an informed decision about it.

As a side note, I work with clients who have HIV, and have many who have been positive for 20 years or more and are still healthy, so hang in there. We're in a much better place now treatment wise than we were when they were diagnosed.

cookie77
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 10

Posted 9/13/2009 9:46 AM (GMT -7)

Hi angel. So sorry to hear of your news.

There must be a lot going on in your head just now, but you can see how much caring support is available here and it's great that you have a loving partner to talk to.

As you're in the UK you may already be aware, but I'd just like to point out the very useful Terrence Higgins Trust website:

www.tht.org.uk/

Also, they have helplines available every day where you can talk to kind and knowledgeable people about anything to do with HIV.

Take care of yourself. *hugs*

jonny ray
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 2

Posted 10/22/2009 11:24 AM (GMT -7)

Sorry to hear about your news, I too have went through this recently.

I tested positive about 4 months ago. My wife is neg. I do not understand how we could have unprotected sex for 12 years and she is not pos. Since finding out I had hiv, we have had sex maybe 10 times, once without condom. I gotta say the condoms just take any sort of intimacy out. And my erections are lame (very depressing)

What Im wondering is does your boyfriend have precum? (I do not, that I know of) and did he ever ejaculate inside of you? Im trying to figure out risks of unprotected with wife. I know the suggestion would be to practice safe sex everytime, I just miss feeling her. they say risks are 10,000 to one that it passes.
my cd4 is at 425 and VL is at 60k. I am not on treatment yet, and not sure if I want to start.

Im still having a hard time everyday, just living the day and not thinking about it, every itch, cough, thrush etc scares me to death

Thanks for posting, nice to know Im not alone, also recent recovered alcoholic, with no mental escape anymore...

Post Edited (jonny ray) : 10/22/2009 11:32:03 AM (GMT-6)

Judy2
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 4172

Posted 10/23/2009 2:45 PM (GMT -7)

I would assume that the risk of infecting your wife, your love, your life partner with HIV would be unacceptably high even if it were one in a million. Do you know when you were infected? Regardless of how long you've been having sex without protection, you've been lucky. Infection can happen the first time or never. But it can always happen THIS time, so man up and use a condom.

Judy

Co-moderator, Ulcerative Colitis

Diagnosed in 2001, finally in remission since March 2006.

Mesalamine is not my friend and steroids are from the devil.

Remicade has been my miracle drug.

TalktomeHIV
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1508

Posted 10/25/2009 1:04 PM (GMT -7)

jonny:

Try different kinds of condoms. There are all sorts out there that offer great protection with minimal change to the pleasure of the act. Take a look at a site like www.condomania.com . They have a large selection and you can order them discreetly from home. One of the major factors in the difficulties people have using condoms is actually a psychological response; you expect it will be different, perhaps feel awkward putting it on, and that anxiety ultimately affects your performance (or you believe it does.) Perhaps you and your wife can incorporate putting the condom on into your lovemaking. People often introduce different things into their sex rituals, and this can just be another one.

Ultimately it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to rely on odds. All it takes is one time, and you and your wife would probably then have a whole boat load of other feelings to deal with as a result. It's a decision you should make together, but be sure to consider all the possible outcomes when you're making that decision, and make it BEFORE you're in the act, rather than during, because libidos are not known for helping us make the best decisions. ;)

jonny ray
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 2

Posted 10/25/2009 6:19 PM (GMT -7)

thank you for the responses. We have talked about it several times, and Ive been honest about my feelings and hers as well. She appreciates the fact that I want to keep her safe. I have tried several brands of condoms and have a viagra prescription, that seems to help a bit, just takes time to work. I just am sad that I cant love my wife the way i used to. I believe I was infected prior to meeting her, 10 years ago, when I was quite promiscuous. If I only knew I would meet such a wonderful woman I might have handled things differently. Now I only can hope for a cure one day.

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