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Posted By : Runchman - 4/30/2017 1:03 PM
hi everyone.
I came on here as I had a lumbar discectomy the third one,unfortunately after a year I found my pain had become chronic,I was losing the use of my leg,I had to give up 5 jobs which I loved.
I remember going to the consultant and him saying I will always be fully medicated,never be allowed to do painting,gardening etc.
I said what surgery,he replied nothing,I asked if I could do anything to help myself,he said nothing.

I was very depressed last year,I cried so much,I have always been there for everyone,could solve there problems.They saw me made up looking nice,because you cant see nerve damadge they really could not understand,I couldn't keep up.

This year after 30 years my husband wants a divorce,I have had to go disabled which broke my heart,have know idea where I'm going to live,my lovely house I painted landscaped designed it,will be sold.

I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago onto my hip,even more pain,my doctor said it was probally my nerve damadge,My codeine crept up to 10 a day,tramadol,8, diazepam 3,Amptryplizine 2,gapapentin 1200
then my usual diabetic pills.

After 2 weeks I just wanted the pain to go,I was like a zombie,being sick and the consert shakes scared me,I was hallucinating. I was also swigging Aramorph.

I always had loads of friends but because of my broken marriage and I couldn't do jobs for them,I was worthless,they say you know who your friends are,but I am so caring,it broke my heart.

2 weeks ago I wrote my doctor a letter pleading to get a physio appointment,I was advised last August by a pain manadgement in London,I asked for help,a counsellor etc.

She phoned at 6pm a week later she was going away,she said a physio will be requested and the symptons was abuse of medication,do a spreadsheet and cut down,just like that,see you in 2 weeks.

well this Monday I joined this site and was so ill,went down to 3 Tramadol,5 codeine,1 amytryplizine,1 diazepam,no aramorph,all diabatese.

I cried for days the pain everywhere,my friend said she would help me with a spreadsheet but let me down,I phoned my only friend I couldn't go on.She went through my medication I had forgotten all my gapapentin.for five days.My main medication.

This can even happen to the most organised person which is usually me.I have started my gapapentin,I now know this at least helped with my nerve damadge pain.

They don't give you any guidance to help you.its like you are sinking and have know support to save you,I know lots of you are going through so much,I wish there is a cure for you,or something which relieves your pain.

This is a new computer so I'm pretty lost how to work this and go through this site,I lost my original message,plus was going to answer someone.Apolagies.

Thankyou for reading.

Posted By : straydog - 4/30/2017 1:40 PM
hi everyone,i am so grateful in finding this site,I have had this since a back op went wrong,I am in so much pain I overdosed my meds,Last night I looked up all my medication was shocked so many aren't great for my condition and can make it worst.
I'm looking for other things which can help,and be there if anyone wants a chat,its a lonely life and if you haven't got it, you find it hard to understand.
I have know idea how to do this,worst thing its a new laptop lol...

have know idea what to tick,is there a certain one for running conversation.

I found your original post & copied it here for you.
Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums

Posted By : Runchman - 4/30/2017 1:55 PM
thankyou,I was reading it and thought that sounds like me,is there away to have a conversation with anyone.I have a few of the other illnesses.

I'm pretty mixed up and have know idea how to cut my meds down,plus nice to make friends someone to talk to on both sides.

Posted By : straydog - 4/30/2017 2:41 PM
Hello again Runchman. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time navigating the forum. Something you can try is at the very top of this page is a search feature, type your username in there & it will bring up your posts here. Or you can go into your profile & set it so that you will get an email sent when someone responds to you.

From what I am reading you are struggling with so much all at all once & you are completely overwhelmed & have no idea where to even start. This can happen to us before we realize what is happening. What helps me is making a list of what is the most pressing things that need to be taken care of first. In other words don't overload yourself by trying to handle it all in one day.

How long ago was your surgery? I know nothing about how your healthcare system is where you live. I am assuming you have to be put on a list to see specialists. If this is true, I have seen many people have to wait a very long time to be seen. What type of dr takes care of you now. Is this the same dr that writes your scripts for your medications? Are you able to pay out of pocket to see a dr? Sorry for so many questions.

Here in the states we are in a very controlled environment when it comes to being a chronic pain patient. We see pain mgt drs, since they are pretty much the only ones that will prescribe pain medication. Even our pain mgt drs have changed their ways when it comes to narcotics. If a patient abuses their medication the dr dismisses them & then it is difficult getting a new dr..

I am sorry to read about the friend situation. This happens a lot more than you think. People that are healthy often cannot understand others that can no longer go & do as they did before. Reality is, if they are a true friend they will stick by you, if they don't then they were not that much of a friend after all. At least that is how I look at it.

Since you have decreased the amount of your medications yes, your pain level will shoot through the roof. This is normal, your body was use to having a certain amount of those drugs in your system & you decreased the amount. How are you feeling now?

Is there any way that you can get into some type of counseling? What a about any kind of a support group in your area? You have so much going on, perhaps if you could get into some counseling it would help. Would your husband go to marriage counseling?

As far as other methods to help with your situation many of us use distraction. Whether it is listening to some music, reading a book, taking a walk, or getting outside for some fresh air, maybe going somewhere & getting a cup of coffee. Get on the computer & play a game. Anything to distract yourself from the pain. You can experiment with this & find what suits you the best.

Treating nerve pain is difficult & it does not respond to narcotics, studies have proven this. The medication like your Gabapentin & Amitriptiline are often used for nerve pain.

The members in this forum very much understand what it is like living with chronic pain. Please come here as often as you like we will help you any way we can.

Take care.
Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums

Posted By : Runchman - 4/30/2017 3:08 PM
thankyou,I went onto forums nobody on there,why because I'm in England,am I in the wrong one,im handling the smaller doses except gapapentin I would now advice others it can help.But not the deteriation of my leg,everything in moderation and rest the next day.
The operation was 3 years ago pain manadgement wash there hands of you if you have something chronic.
We do have talking therapy from a script,always asking if you want to commit suicide,instead of any pointers.
the doctor is NhS just writes out prescriptions over worked.

I had bupa they said I had a life sentence as it starts with chronic I cant be seen anymore.

One surgeon can ruin your life,I had sciatica every year for 2 months as I did manual work,This was to give me 12 months.

I don't see so many posts,am I looking at the right place as I would like to support others.Thats my strength,it wont solve my problems but it makes you feel better,helping others.

took 3 tramadol 5 codeine will be 1 diazepam 2 amytryplizine at least not a haze and little tummy ache.

going to see if I can do voluntary work,have know idea about a home.This is when you need family.Mine has all died.

I don't like my company so don't like playing games.However started audio books youtube they do a chapter,I sometimes fall asleep. Thankyou x

Posted By : straydog - 4/30/2017 5:04 PM
Runchman, our set up here at Healing Well does not have private messaging like other forums. We do have a chat room but few people ever use it. Even this forum is slow. I check it several times a day. Posting here is just fine.

You said "I had a bupa they said I had a life sentence as it starts with with chronic I can't be seen anymore". I don't understand what you mean, sorry.

With your nerve pain by all means stay on your Gabapentin & Amitriptiline as they can work on your nerve pain. I would not decrease the dosage of either.

You mentioned having other health issues, I suggest looking at the various forums here & see if any of those fit you too. Some of us post in multiple forums.

Take care.
Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums

Posted By : Runchman - 5/13/2017 3:49 AM
hi thanks Susie,im coping sometimes taking less meds,but then something happens,and I'm taking more again.
the doctor wont give me counselling even though she knows I might lose my house etc.
I'm struggling I use to have so many jobs,Im a people person and the loniless is killing me.

no my husband doesn't want to save our marriage as he feels trapped,even though the house everything is all done for him.

life can be so cruel,my sister sent me a letter saying someone in our family died,I found out 12 days ago,im still living,and try and support others.

I still have feelings.

finally some physio will see if that helps,Im thinking of starting a facebook group for illnesses you cant see,I like helping others,that makes me forget the pain.

Thankyou for giving up your time to help others x

Posted By : straydog - 5/13/2017 8:10 AM
Hi Runchman, good to hear from you again. I am so sorry to read that you have lost a family member. Allow yourself time to grieve & remember, no two people grieve the same way.

Finding the balance with your pain medication can be difficult. I am glad that you took the time to look up the medications that you are taking. Knowledge is powerful & a must with our health issues. Try to do small things, even if it is going outside for 30 minutes to get fresh air. I think that helps us clear our minds for a few minutes. As I said previously, distraction can help too. I set small goals for myself daily. I set small goals for myself daily, otherwise I just get overwhelmed thinking about what needs to be done. Glad to read that you have started some physio, hopefully you will get some relief, hang in there & give it some time.

Since your husband is not interested in trying to save the marriage, I would urge you to take whatever steps that are necessary to protect yourself.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing. Take care.
Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums

Posted By : (Seashell) - 5/13/2017 9:40 AM
It is good to hear from you. This forum is a genuine site of caring people. You are not alone. You have new friends, right here.

I know the frustration and self-questioning that comes when family are not there to offer emotional support or physical care, especially when you have been the family caregiver in the dynamic flow of your family. I have had to make the painful realization that my family is not going to care for me as I have cared for them.

The anology: you cannot keep lowering a bucket into the well, hoping that you will bring up a bucket brining with clear, clean water (water = emotional and physical care by family or a particular family member)s. The well (well = family or a particular family member) is empty. The well is empty.

I have had to adapt and find other ways to input the care that I need. Look to your faith to bolster your reserves. Look to your community and out reach services (local community center; wheels on meals; YMCA). Find a hobby or avocation that brings you even a flicker of engagement or joy (needlepoint; gardening in raised planter boxes or planters is you are unable to reach the ground; audio books); adopt a small dog or cat from the local shelter (the unconditional love of a pet can be tremendously life affirming).

Living with compromised health is no picnic. But there are ways of creating a life with new meaning. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Self care is an important care when support from family and friends is less availing. Treat yourself to a manicure or a bundle of fresh flowers at Saturday Mmarket. You are worth it.

And come here when you need a lift or simply want to interact with others. You are safe here. And always welcomed.
- Karen -
Pituitary failure, wide-spread endocrine dysfunction
Addison's disease
Mixed connective tissue disorder
Extensive intestinal perforation with sepsis, permanent ileostomy
Avascular necrosis of both hips and jaw
Receiving Palliative Care (care and comfort)

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