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Posted By : JP21 - 9/17/2004 10:39 PM
Hi there, my husband has CF and is 29. We just saw a counselor today because we are having problems in our marraige. (He has become emotionally unavailable to me and everyone). The counselor believes he is depressed (as do I). My husband,however doesn't believe he is. I'm having such a hard time with this because we have always had such a good relationship (together over 10 years). HOwever, this passed 1.5 years, he has really pulled away and shut down. Has anyone else had these problems and how did you overcome them? He says that this is nothing I did or didn't do, it's totally him...but he doesn't know what has changed inside him, so he doesnt know how to fix it. His health has been steady, and he's not yet needed to be on a lung translplant list.....I'm at a loss...My little boy needs his daddy, and I need my husband while he's still here...And he's checked out emotionally too early for this ride....
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

JP

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 4/12/2005 1:17:32 PM (GMT-6)


Posted By : Mary-Rose - 9/24/2004 4:08 PM

Hi there,

I am 20 year old CF patient, but I have been going through the same type of thing recently. I have talked to a special CF counselor several times, but still do not feel like myself. My Bf is getting very frustrated with me because he does not think that he makes me happy any more, but that not the truth! i dont what your husband is thinking, but i am sure he is very frustrated about it to. Anyways if you have any specific questions you can e-mail me at excuseyou@sbcglobal.net and my name is mary-rose by the way.


 


Posted By : Lady Fox30 - 1/8/2005 2:01 AM
JP21,
I have been married to a wonderful man with CF for 5 years and it has been the best time of my life. Please realize that some of the medication that he might be on could cause him to be at the least irratable. His body may also be going through some physical changes that have yet to be manifested. This also triggers a Physiological response in the form of depression.
But as one wife to another just telling him that he is depressed usually doesn't to the trick. Leave him alone and let him sort it out for himself. Be there for him when he needs you but realize you can't "make him happy". He has to be a party to becoming happy. You can still love him while living life but you can't control how he feels. If you want to talk further please feel free to e-mail me at fox at bright ok dot net.

Posted By : Bullethead - 1/15/2005 4:58 PM
My name is Jason and i am only 17 but i have had cystic fibrosis since i was born,and i have had severe depression for the past 5 yrs. and the best way fro me to pull away from it is to just talk to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.He literally takes the burden away from me.And sometimes i dont feel like talking to him so i too just shut down into a depression where i dont want anything to do with anyone.But i try my hardest to find someone to tell them what is on my mind.and after iget everything offa my chest i tend to feel better.if that dont work then it just takes time.

Posted By : CindyN2Bears - 3/13/2005 12:18 AM
Hi, I'm new.  My name is Cindy, I'm 24, I have Cystic Fibrosis and two beautiful healthy little girls.
 
I'm replying to this because I, too, suffer from depression.  It can be a combination of medications, and just not feeling well. I am now on zoloft and it helps sooo much.  I know it's one more med to take, but I feel better than I have in years.

Posted By : TheGirlFriend - 3/18/2005 12:28 PM
I think depression is extrememly common among people with chronic illness in general, and probably increases in adults with CF. Seeking counseling is an important step in managing depression. Often when combined with medication the two can really help a person get back to feeling like they can cope effectively with the work of living.
Talking with your husband and being availble to him, seeking help together and talking to his doctor are all good things to do.
But number one- take care of yourself. Seek counseling yourself regardless of if your husband will or not and monitor your own state of mental health. The whole family is affected when one memeber's mental and or physical health decline and you can't give your best to him or to your child unless you take good care of yourself first.

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