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Posted By : deshorn - 10/2/2013 12:08 AM
Hello. I am up right now because outta no where I started to feeling sadness sbout everything negative. I had my hysterectomy on sept 20 n went back to work on sept 30th. It was robotic surgery. I wantrd to kno if its ok to feel like this how long it last n if there is a woman I can tslk to since my husband told me I should be ashame for not thinking about how we have two beautiful kids.

Posted By : jujub - 10/2/2013 11:34 AM
Pay no attention to your husband, he know not of which he speaks. When a woman leaves her childbearing years, it's the end of a major life phase, and when it happens by hysterectomy it's sudden and irreversible. Regardless of a woman's age or her desire to have or not have more children, it's perfectly normal to feel sad, and many of us do. I had known for at least ten years that I would not have children due to fertility problems, yet it was still traumatic. No turning back, no hope, no treatments that might help.

While what you're feeling is normal, that doesn't mean you need to or even should just stay there or feel you have to tough it out on your own. Give yourself time to grieve, maybe a month or so, then if you're still in the dumps consider talking to your doctor. Sometimes a mild anti-depressant can help straighten out those brain chemicals and get you over the hump. Also you could see if there's a support group for women's issues or even consider short-term counseling. You probably wouldn't need more than a few sessions. Check to see if your employer has a program available to help employees with short-term help for stress or depression, many do. (Usually they're called Employee Assistance Programs or something similar.)

Your husband likely feels he's helping; most men's thought is to offer solutions to problems when often we just want to feel what we feel and acknowledge the loss. You might tell him that it's probably a lot like how he would feel if he became impotent. Men's manhood is wrapped up in being able to be sexual; women's is much more about being able to create life.

I hope you're feeling more like yourself soon.
Ulcerative colitis diagnosed in 2001; symptoms as early as 1992. Currently in 7th year of remission with Remicade.
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Grave's disease successfully treated with radioactive iodine and now on Levothyroxine.
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