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Posted By : Myself 09 - 9/9/2017 5:29 PM
Mom died two months ago tomorrow. I have been noticing that often little things, unexpected moments, will remind me and make me sad. Walking past the downtown candy store where I used to buy her sugar-free chocolates for Christmas. A hymn running through my mind--even though I am not religious. Realizing my new linen shirt is the same color as one of her favorite blouses. I have two pictures posted by my desk--one with her great-grandson, taken in May a few weeks before her falls. The other is the family Christmas card from 1960. My two oldest siblings (3 and 5, respectively,) and a pregnant Mom (with another sibling) and Dad, all holding tools (?).

Just random thoughts. I love you, Mom.

Posted By : Lynnwood - 9/9/2017 7:37 PM
It gets... not exactly easier, but different.

My mother died a little over 30 years and 2 months ago, and every once in a while something still hits me and brings a twinge or even a tear. Never know what it'll be or when it'll happen.

I love my mother, too, and wherever she is and whatever she's doing I'm certain she's having a much more wonderful time than her days being ill here on earth.

Hugs to us all.

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 9/9/2017 7:40 PM
i send you love and hugs. ya mum is always with you, in your heart and with your memories. grief is a very personal process, no correct or wrong way. moments like those mentioned happen, and the process of healing continues to evolve during the various grief processes and cycles. may peace be with you and know that we care.

Posted By : wearyRAsufferer - 9/9/2017 9:24 PM
sad

I went thru this when my dad passed in 2001 and now my mom appears to be in the end stages of her life and I will be going thru again..
I can only say I still miss my dad and what was once and is no longer but the pain doesn't sear my heart anymore. Now when I remember favorites- I indulge in them and feel like I let him come to life because I acknowledge them and engage in them and when I do he lives on because of it.
Wishing you peace

Posted By : kellyinCali - 9/9/2017 11:50 PM
Empathy and Hugs.

Posted By : BnotAfraid - 9/10/2017 10:02 AM
Myself,

I envy the closeness you had with your Mom.
I am sorry you have to go through so much sadness.

How about in the spring, you plant a nice hardy flowering bush and put a stone with her favorite poem, prayer, phrase on it?

Love and gentle hugs
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Posted By : F27 - 9/10/2017 10:58 AM
My father and I had grown into quite different men by the time he died. What I find the freakiest is when I note his facial attributes in mine. Doing so is strangely discomfiting.

(hug)

Posted By : w82heal - 9/10/2017 5:52 PM
My mom passed away from breast cancer in 2008. When she passed, my dad and I were in the room with her. My dad said something to me that really helped me. He said we are selfish because we grieve for ourselves and not for them because we know that they are in a better place. They are no longer in pain and that they are at peace.

Also, those moments will pop up every now and then. There are still times that I will say to myself, "I need to tell my mom..." I then realize that I can't tell her in the physical form, but I can still talk to her.

This may not help you, but I wanted to share in case it would.

I am sorry for your loss.

Posted By : BnotAfraid - 9/11/2017 12:03 PM
F27 I get that feeling...
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Posted By : Myself 09 - 9/12/2017 5:10 PM
Thanks all. Her death was expected, but still strangely evocative.

As I look through all the family information and photos, certain trends become clearer to me. My parents were very different types of people. Socio-economically, educationally, religiously, and on. When my Mom once told me, in a fit of pique, that I was just like my father, I find this no hyperbole, looking back. I can clearly see the physical and mental connections to my father's side of the family. But, this intellectual curiosity and moodiness is tempered by my complexion, my smile, my beaten-into-me old-fashioned manners. We inherit so much--and yet what we do with it is uniquely our own.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot

Posted By : F27 - 9/13/2017 11:27 AM
"my beaten-into-me old-fashioned manners"

Saw a picture on Twitter of a bunch of AntiFa twits that was captioned: "This is what happens when we stop beating our kids."

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