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Posted By : Ox123 - 9/16/2017 12:03 PM
Hi all,

Back again after 2 weeks of feeling perfectly normal! I recently posted on here after I suddenly endured a serious wave of panic attacks/anxiety and depression 6 weeks ago. I came to the conclusion that I was suffering from high cortisol levels during the early hours in the morning since this is when my depression is worst. I now believe this isnt the the problem and probably only a symptom of a deeper issue.

Over the past week Ive gone from feeling fully recovered. To feeling chronically depressed. I'm starting to think that im suffering from diurnal mood variation. During my bad episodes I will wake up almost 12 times per night. And then when i finally wake at 6am i get a feeling of crushing depression now. Rewind that 4 weeks earlier and i was getting severe anxiety followed by depression. now its just depression. And it doesnt even feel thought based. Im not thinking bad things when im depressed, Im just sad to the point of crying for no reason.

So as i said my mood lifts throughout the day, followed by quite a peaceful night. Then whole cycle then repeats. Does anyone here know much about diurnal mood variation? Or have a similar condition? I feel like i should start considering SSRI's if these week long waves keep occuring, as its destroying my quality of life.

Posted By : F27 - 9/16/2017 5:18 PM
Hmmm, I can commiserate with your depression but not the cause your positing. That said, depression is depression, and many times understanding the cause is kind of a consolation prize. In other words, while you're depression is flaring, you just have to deal with it.

SSRI's are a big deal, so I would turn to them as a last resort. I would, however, try and address your sleep issues, as insomnia and depression are definitely linked.

Quality of life is important, and that's another reason you may want to forgo an SSRI if possible.

Good luck!

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 9/17/2017 12:56 AM
off to the doc for you mate. best get checked out. a lot of other things could be going on.

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/17/2017 1:04 PM
I think so too! Last time I was at the doctors they didnt really seem like they really knew what to do themselves. I think I may need to seek another doctor this time. It was a case of treating the anxiety with tablets which didnt really do anything to help.

I am feeling like I need a last resort now though, I cant really afford to be dipping into week + long episodes of depression. It seems that anything I consciously do doesnt really help it. All I can do is do things to pass the time until it goes a few hours later.

Post Edited (Ox123) : 9/17/2017 1:17:53 PM (GMT-6)

Posted By : Myself 09 - 9/17/2017 1:36 PM
Hm. I might offer a more simple explanation of the cycle, one that works with anxiety as the primary cause. At night you wake often and feel badly, followed by sleeping well the next night. I could be that the lack of sleep one night causes you to sleep well the next night; the anxiety levels are lessened due to being over-tired, allowing a proper restorative sleep.

Just a working theory--but it follows my experience of pain rather than anxiety/depression. Nights when I sleep badly due to pain--I can't get to sleep, wake up often in pain, cause the next day to be filled with pain, but I sleep well the next night, resulting in less pain.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/18/2017 12:02 AM
Maybe there is something in that which relates to me. that doesnt explain me just feeling depressed though, even when i dont feel anxious. I feel like the depression is causing the lack of sleep, rather than a lack of sleep causing something else.

Sleeping for me is the best part of the day now, even though somewhat broken. I genuinely feel there is something unbalanced in my body and this isn't due to my thoughts. It doesnt matter if Im positive all day, I just feel immense sadness in the background, which fades on its own as the day goes on.

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/18/2017 9:52 AM
Also, heres a look at my mood table. I cant work out why im going through these depressive waves. The table doesn't go up to today but im basically having a relapse of the second week. Is this a common sign of depression or not?

black: Crying/Panicking/dispair/wanting to leave the world
red: Verge of tears/crying/panicking/thinking the worst
orange: sad/worrying/feeling down/unmotivated
green: fully functional/quite happy/very few worry moments
yellow: Feel perfectly fine


Posted By : kellyinCali - 9/18/2017 4:59 PM
Ox, Have you shown your chart to a P-doc? I think it's worth considering an appointment to specifically review your mood cycles. Has it been suggested that you might be Bipolar II? There is full blown Bipolar (with Mania), Bipolar II (mania can feel like irritability but generally - NO MANIA), and there is even what is referred to as "rapid cycling bipolar" and "mixed states."

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/19/2017 1:50 AM
Ive not been back to the doctors for some weeks now, although im urgently trying to get back in since things have escalated. No bi polar issues have been suggested. To me it doesnt feel like that. It just feels like im dipping in and out of being sad. Thats the thing thats scaring me. I get so upset and teary randomly.

Im trying everything I possibly can (natural) that might help. Although my appetite is basically none existant, im still trying to force some good foods down.

Posted By : kellyinCali - 9/19/2017 7:21 AM
Ahhh Ox, it sounds like "depression." Depression does come in waves throughout the day. Clinical depression is when you are not functional. Are you at least taking Folic Acid (FOLATE) and B12 and Vitamin D?

Folate and depression—a neglected problem:

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/19/2017 10:43 AM
I'm not sure if I would be defined as clinical, I am fully functional in the sense I can still do things but always on the verge of breaking down and giving up whatever it is im doing. Somehow I've managed to push through the worst part of the days though. As mentioned before evenings my brain gives me a little rest.

Folic Acid: Im eating alot of beans, cereal, rice and pasta
B12: Fish and Eggs are the main part of my diet atm
Vit D: Does the sunbed count?

Also just bought some turmeric which Ive heard is good for depression. If im going to complain about this being the worst experience of my life the least i can do is get my diet and lifestyle in check!

Posted By : kellyinCali - 9/19/2017 11:22 AM
Your diet sounds healthy!

Have you considered the following (related to Circadium Rythem:

//The study further suggests that making appropriate changes to try to stabilize the relationships between your sleep cycles, eating, exercise, meal times and when you take your medication may help decrease the impact of diurnal mood variation.//

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/19/2017 3:07 PM
Thank you!

Thats interesting. I guess i better sort those. Currently using a sleeping app to track my sleeping rhythms, although ive slept hardly at all some nights and woke up fine before.

Doctor has prescribed 50mg sertraline which im probably going to try. Everything else feels in check and its still very crippling.

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 9/19/2017 7:12 PM
i would give the sertaline a definite go. give it six -8 weeks for it to have a chance. good med for what you are presenting.

Posted By : Ox123 - 9/20/2017 4:57 AM
day 1 on sertraline. had it at 7.30, 8.30 I had a burning sensation in my throat, followed by feeling very sick. 11.50 and the sickness has gone a little bit. 12:50 and ive got diarrhea.

Also feeling very very depressed. keep panicking every 2 minutes but theres no physiological changes, just feel like im going to die. Getting tired of this now.

Post Edited (Ox123) : 9/20/2017 5:47:37 AM (GMT-6)

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