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Posted By : theHTreturns... - 9/30/2017 5:05 AM
as the subject denotes, i must do this. micro managing my family is almost as toxic as living near a nuclear waste dump!! i'm kidding, but ya get the gist. self belief i must generate within myself and believe in myself. this year has been draining, but much good for others, and maybe my karma bank too. need to see me eye doc, posting and reading not so good. continual learning from people keeps me educated on the changing philosophies of life, death and everything in between. my family is quite mixed in culture, and i am glad that it is. i am eating better, sugars and cholesterol are good, other things suck, but this is life.
many people have been positive influences to my development and continued growth, and a lot on this site! i feel lucky to have been influenced by so many on hw. i guess the turtle is getting old or tired, and can't see for !@#*. i can but reading a lot is difficult. i must stop micro managing my family, get my bank card back.......errr and get some things i need. i know what i must do, and plan i do. it's funny, i live in an area that is pretty rough, but the place, and the good people have grown on me. my gov house is old, but she got personality and character; actually it is the longest place i have ever lived in, t5his includes growing up!!

am glad i found a new gp. and endo. and i am glad i am beginning to understand more of what is causing my body grief. i guess i am in a reflective hue of pondering of what is next. i believe in know.....yes i know. i guess making the sacrifice or more so the letting go of ways that are intrinsic in me is a little difficult. i feel this expression may help me. take the leap of faith turtle he says to himself. be not afraid. at least i am putting it out there, from my brain type thing. process is beginning, so this is a positive thing. to embark on a journey i need my mind and body right as can be. my mantra just popped into my head, and one i always use, esp with the newbies, 'slow and steady wins the race'.

we all grow and age, die, isolate, etc. i guess i have seen too much of this. i want to be, harmonise and centered. my journey is already under way, in a demented sense, cause i can see that my existance is stagnant-not fulfilled. career......hmmm, maybe this will happen later on. my journey on this harmonious path may not be a life time.....however many do very well career wise after a period of time on a spiritual journey. i feel 2018 will be a real awakening for me. and i hope for you all.

just wanted to write a few words. i guess i know me best, and thus i will trust in me. i am ready for bed soon. i had a productive day, cleaned linen, washed, did dishes, put shopping away, text my sis and a mate and tidied up a bit. i want to thank you all for my continued learning. every person on this earth has something to offer and teach. my time is upon me, my karma bank is solid!! some of the harsh negatives in my life have taught me a lot. i have learnt that this happens later on, with insight and understanding, and how you dealt with the situation and learnt from it. i guess when my time comes up i want to be able to go in a way to say i achieved some deep wisdom and harmony, and that it has benefited others.

thx for listening. jamie, aka and always, 'the happy turtle'.

Posted By : getting by - 9/30/2017 6:02 AM
Thanks Jamie for sharing. Self realization, good point...

Trust in you, yes...

I hope you get a good sleep HT. Thanks for being the Happy Turtle...

Hugs, Karen...

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 9/30/2017 7:42 PM
thx mate. i guess it is about the leap from a safe yet mundane place, into something fulfilling that is both exciting and rewarding yet is a bit scary too. this is change. the continual mundane process is no longer acceptable to me, i know this is a positive reinforcement of my acceptance of my situation. i can't put excuses out there, however my gradual process needs a boost from my friends. sign of strength not weakness. to move forwards to accept your past, done, but the realisation and achievement is the creation, for me, a better way of living and knowing the world. and myself, in the best way i can and with having a little self importance to my development. this has been lacking; and i will admit, that my micro management, that was once full bore, was a way of sabotage in my readiness, however i do need a solid foundation and some peace to begin with. so as the family settles it too will be in a better mindset. i too must accept that if i keep pulling this family out of the fire, then i am enabling them.

it has been good that the family has become more united in getting things sorted for certain members. i have had to say, no more, i have backed off, and when needed stepped in. there realisations need to come into play, 1 settled and in good support, 1 being sorted and mum getting sorted and almost done. next year no more excuses.

i am person that needs a little confidence at times. too many hard knocks and negatives has rocked my self esteem somewhat, however i will address this. just had a longer stroll. thx for listening, this is a cathartic process as it seeks to combat the depressive elements of the disorder. cheers.

Posted By : kellyinCali - 9/30/2017 8:24 PM
Thank you, Jamie, for sharing!

This reminds me of the cathartic feeling of "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired." So much of how we feel feeds off of what and how we think. It sounds like you are "Spring Cleaning" epiphany at a time. smile

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 10/1/2017 1:22 AM

Posted By : BnotAfraid - 10/1/2017 12:57 PM
Jamie, aka Happy Turtle..

I can understand some of your feelings and where your life is at intently. A few things I have passed through, some I know are to come, of course do not know when.

It is a shame we are not closer to get together over a cup of tea. Said this to another friend last week to..

We take what we can get right? The joy of having friends that understand from any distance is a priceless gift, indeed..

There is so much I would like to talk about regarding your post. But I am not doing well myself to take so long, and Skype is not a good idea either for the time being
So I will write this week, and off in post with it..

Did you know, that many of the people I read about for mindfulness, Peace, compassion are from Australia:

I will list a few see it you looked into any of them>

JULIE LEWIN, is a medical intuitive, author, mentor, teacher and AreekeerA, an accredited revoluntionary healing modality for Self Care.

JOHN SHEARER, is a international recognized Australian MINDFULNESS Master. He conducts work shops, groups, one on one, and teaches those who desire to mentor and teach mindfulness to others.

That all a have today. Hope it helps you and others!

Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 10/1/2017 9:54 PM
cheers trendy. and all my friends. the increase and bold really helped. was able to read it without me things on me face!! i look forward to your letter.

Posted By : BnotAfraid - 10/2/2017 11:33 AM
In about a week mate.

FYI. to make large print

[ ]. type end it with the same first brackets there would be 4 between the first 2 brackets /4]. if I put the bracket here you won't see them
they up top when you clock Post Reply. You can enter any no,.
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Posted By : theHTreturns... - 10/2/2017 5:45 PM
cheers trendy.

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