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|Posted By : jandrew - 8/27/2014 8:42 PM|
|Okay here's my story....looking for anyone who has been through this that can give me some info on what to expect: My husband is 2wks away from his 50th birthday and I'm afraid he may not see 51. He has been a drinker all his life but in the last 4 yrs has gotten progressively worse - to the point that he lost his job about 2 and a half years ago and has had 7 hospitalizations for detox during that time. Each time he's gone in it's been a little worse.|
I've tried to get him into an inpatient facility but once he's feeling better he tells the doctor he will do AA and stop drinking. He has NEVER gone to AA and he stops drinking for a few weeks. He then starts to feel better and the drinking starts all over again and within a few months he's back in the hospital. It's such a vicious cycle.
Anyway - about a week ago he went into the hospital again and this time the doctor told me he had mid to end stage cirrhosis of the liver, ascites, jaundice, enlarged spleen and pancreas and his kidneys were failing when he was admitted. He called it hepatorenal syndrome.
He told me in no uncertain terms he was dying and it was up to my husband as to how long he had.........if he didn't take care of himself and stop drinking, he could be dead within a month. After four days in the hospital, he checked himself out AMA and has been home on the couch slowly circling the drain and waiting to die in my opinion. He looks like an 80yr old man. He can barely walk, his skin is itchy, he's still jaundice, he's not sleeping well, can barely talk, and is only eating soup and gingerale.
He isn't drinking at this point, which is good, but I think it's only because he's too sick to drink. If he continues this way and doesn't get treatment from the doctor, what am I looking at for life expectancy for him?
I am angry, sad and also a little numb about having to watch him to this to himself and seeing him deteriorate on a daily basis. Needless to say, I am working about 60hrs a week and have been since he lost his job to be able to survive and pay my bills alone so I'm not home with him all day.
I wonder every day if I will find him dead on that couch in the morning or at night when I come home from work.
Post Edited By Moderator (MamaLama) : 8/28/2014 3:27:09 PM (GMT-6)
|Posted By : **David** - 8/27/2014 9:06 PM|
|Liver and kidney failure, or at least he is closing in on it. He has to choose whether he wants to live. This is up to him. It isn't your fault.|
nullum beneficium impunitum...
|Posted By : themiz - 8/27/2014 9:22 PM|
|Welcome to the Hep forum, j. Your husband's condition is dire, as you know. I am very sorry. |
Your question was not how to help him get sober, obtain a transplant, or care for him...simply to know his life expectancy. There just is not simple answer. It sounds as if his doctor told you what to expect...and sadly, your husband chose to check out AMA and is not compliant in any way with a will to live. I would suppose his doctor suggested hospice or palliative care. If not, that may be something to look into.
We do have members that have been through what you are going through as the spouse of an alcoholic. And we have member's with alcoholic cirrhosis that did face death's door and were gravely ill, but found the will to live. Some survive and make it to a transplant list, or transplant, if they are very lucky. My heart goes out to you. Please know I am thinking of you tonight. Again, welcome. Big Hugs
themiz, Forum Moderator-Hepatitis
Wife of themister, a fine man living with ESLD.
Eradicated Hep C geno 3a SVR July 2012-- TIPS, HE, January 2013
Transplant list, Mayo AZ- July 11, 2013 MELD 14
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
|Posted By : MamaLama - 8/28/2014 3:32 PM|
|Welcome to the forum Jan...|
I could have written this same post, word for word, in the fall of 2010. My partner said he was just dying, so he was going to die "happy." HA. Some happy...all that staggering around, wt loss, muscle wasting, inability to eat, itching, nausea, confusions, and the days he'd sleep away the day on the couch when he wan't screaming at me for imagined offenses.
Now, nearly 4 years later, we find a man who was given 90 days MAX to live, alive and well, post liver transplant, post cancer, and sober for all that time....forever I hope.
He finally listened....YOU WILL DIE. He heard that loud and clear and decided to LIVE.
Some of our members families are not this lucky...their loved one does not make this decision..and the downhill ride is quite sad.
Mike finally went to AA and has done well. I wish he'd still go, but he has quit a lot of things in his life...drugs, cigarettes, and now booze and never looks back.
I wish the same for you...feel free to some here for support along your journey....it is quite difficult being caregiver for a person with End Stage Liver Disease.
MamaLama, Forum moderator - Hepatitis
Partner received liver transplant (May 1, 2011) FL
Hep C 1a Treatment - Sovaldi/Olysio (March - May 2014)
Undetected since week 4. Undetected 12 weeks post treatment.