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Posted By : vkj - 6/29/2017 10:23 AM
Recently when i asked my wife why she is unhappy ..she started blurting out all her feelings and started telling me about all her unhappiness and what she is going through that she doesn't trust me( there was an incident where i did something that has really affected her self esteem) and that my family has caused her so much harm that she doesn't wanna live with me anymore..

after that she consistently refers to that incident and doesn't talk much to me and she is very rude to me

i get bouts of anxiety to get everything alright but the silence and coldness from her doesnt let me be in peace i know there have been several mistakes from my end but i have been trying to set it right from the past 2 years but she just doesnt wanna put an effort

what to do?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 6/29/2017 11:15 AM
Hello and welcome.

I am very sorry to hear of the challenges in your marriage currently. Relationship and personal conflicts are a big anxiety trigger for me as well...so I understand how you are feeling.

Have you asked your wife to attend marriage counseling with you? That is the next step I would take.

Whether or not she goes along...you should go anyway.


This will accomplish two things. One, it will show her you are serious in doing whatever it takes to restore your relationship...

...and two, you can get the help that you need for managing your anxiety through this experience.

We can't change others, only ourselves. Taking positive steps to do your best in your relationship is of course critical. However what's key is to make sure you are the healthiest individual you can be...

...and in any outcome, you will be alright. 😊

Post with us anytime for support and encouragement!

Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : Tim Tam - 6/29/2017 4:23 PM
You said in the title of your post, she wants you to leave.

My wife said that to me and we had a house we were buying together, and a 3 year old child.

And she wanted m to leave cause she got caught having an affair?

You know like, why couldn't she leave? Why is she ordering me out of our own house, away from our child?

So, do you have any children? Are you buying your house?

If not, this could be a relatively simple matter. She, for instance, could leave. So, what's stopping her?

I was as flustered as you were. But it does remind me of my wife's statement of "leave!"

Posted By : vkj - 6/29/2017 10:16 PM
hey first of all thanks all of you!!!!! ...the replies itself make me feel better if not anything else...looking forward to keeping engaged
Scaredy Cat: yes i have been seeing a psychiatrist from a year now but not frequently. After her outburst recently i did see a psychiatrist who kind of read through my whole saga and she advised me to a marriage counsellor . She did gimme some medicines too ...to check my serotonin levels ..this medicine made me very depressed so i stopped taking it. She sees me doing all this but still in her outbursts now and then still manages to bring out the episodes which happened 2 years back etc. Its very difficult
i will go to the marriage counsellor soon.

Tim Tam: yes why couldn't she leave ...good question ..at the time she told it felt like it could happen anytime ..but now she talks to my daughter like normal, she only shows her anger at me ..but then she does talk to me its not like she is shutting me out totally . my overreaction too is a problem that i bring for myself . I have a 15 year old daughter. We have our own house and unfortunately we had booked another home last year ..at that time she didnt bring out any such statements or behaviour ...im so confused and anxious why suddenly so much hate and that too even 3 weeks after the outbursts

Posted By : vkj - 6/29/2017 10:19 PM
Tim Tam: have you guys separated now?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 6/29/2017 11:00 PM
I am sorry this is so hard...

...but you are taking all the right steps, so feel good about this.

We are here for you, keep posting anytime you need to share.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : Tim Tam - 6/30/2017 11:08 AM
vkarkala:

Thanks for the nice response.

You asked: "have you guys separated now?"

Well, it's a long story. Twenty-nine years of long story.

That is, when it first became evident that she was having an affair, it was 29 years before that situation ended.

It ended when she passed away from a long illness, cancer, she smoked.

It was like seeing a freight train coming at you (her attacking me), and then right at the last second, it veered off the track.

It was like two dogs in a pit. We couldn't get out. We both wanted to stay for the child and then house. By the time the child grew up, we stayed because the house was almost paid for and we didn't want to leave that.

I didn't argue with her. She would argue with me, but I wouldn't respond.

Do you have any idea why she is upset with you? Is she seeing someone else?

My wife was, but I would refuse to officially acknowledge it to myself. If she said she wasn't having an affair, I would choose to believe that so that I could lessen the tension in my house and in my mind.

After her funeral, only then did I feel I could objectively look at the situation, and I did come to the conclusion that she was having an affair. But while we were living in the same house together, it would have been too much stress to be too smart too soon.

Or, maybe, you've had an affair, for you said,

"she doesn't trust me( there was an incident where i did something that has really affected her self esteem) and that my family has caused her so much harm that she doesn't wanna live with me anymore.."

So, that's the same thing but not with the wife straying during the marriage, but with, yourself, the husband committing some sort of offense. is there any way you can give us a clue what that offense was? Maybe she's in the right, and you're in the wrong.

You said, "I have a 15 year old daughter. We have our own house and unfortunately we had booked another home last year ..at that time she didnt bring out any such statements or behaviour ...im so confused and anxious why suddenly so much hate and that too even 3 weeks after the outbursts

Again, you said, "...im so confused and anxious why suddenly so much hate and that too even 3 weeks after the outbursts"

Again, why the sudden outburst from her? Is she having an affair. Have you looked at that and seen any signs?

That was exactly the situation with my wife. She was forced into a situation where her lover changed jobs, and she had to change jobs, too, to work near where he did, so she was forced to reveal something was going on, cause I was going to find out anyway when she changed jobs.

So, with your wife, why the sudden outbursts?

Again, if you had an affair type situation, you've got to look at that.

What is your part in this?

Posted By : vkj - 6/30/2017 12:21 PM
tim tam ..2 years ago i was in a swingers club ...one thing led to another and she caught me sharing her pics with someone on the net ...after that she chose to leave the incident behind ..but every now and then keeps bringing up that incident ...my sister is always unhappy with her and they have even gone to the extend of calling her a *****...she is definitely traumatised by all of this ..like she says " i have given it my 200% but now im shattered" ....

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 6/30/2017 2:41 PM
V.,

While admittedly that would be a deal breaker for many relationships...

She has stayed with you thus far, and seems to have tried to forgive and move on.

In addition to the restorative steps you have taken...you will need to call off your sister...and protect your wife from any further contact from her.

If you have truly changed, and dedicated yourself only to your wife and your marriage...

...perhaps there is hope for her healing fully from this.

Wishing you the best.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 6/30/2017 10:21 PM
Hello Scaredy Cat...
Honestly from the past 2 years i have been trying my best ...
i engage in my home activities as much as i can ..no indulgence in the activities that i mentioned
she was kind of fine too although not fully...but after the outburst a month back she has gone to an extreme
i couldnt sleep well last night ...my nephew ( my sisters son) is leaving the country for good . even he is fed up with their attitude ( his parents) . i got very emotional and heavy hearted .

i have asked her to block my sister almost more than a year back. this marriage is very important to me although i am very stressed rt now and i may have been nagging on her which possibly caused the outburst

Posted By : Tim Tam - 7/1/2017 11:40 AM
You were in a swingers club by yourself. The plot thickens.

She didn't participate. Did she know you were in the swingers club?

And in your latest post you said about yourself, "no indulgence in the activities that i mentioned"

And you're wondering why your marriage is in trouble.

Well, let me explain this to you.... I'm making lite, but this does sound like we're starting off this marriage on the wrong foot.

And now you're complaining about her complaining about your being in a swingers club. Well, maybe she is hacked off.

And on top of that, you sent her pictures to someone over the net. Yeah, that would do it.

Are those the issues, you were swinging and she was not? And, again, did she know you were swinging?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/1/2017 1:11 PM
Easy now...

...he fully understands his mistake...and you can't un-ring a bell...what was done is done.

The question is how does he move forward.

Continuing with therapy, anxiety management...and doing his best in restoring trust in the marriage.

The rest is up to her, and whether she can recover from this hurt.

Hoping it works out.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Post Edited (Scaredy Cat) : 7/1/2017 1:14:12 PM (GMT-6)


Posted By : vkj - 7/2/2017 9:26 AM
thanks Scaredy Cat... hoping for some positivity ..keeping my efforts on ...im nto taking the meds right now...later when im "hopefully" in a better state i may consider taking them

Posted By : prew - 7/2/2017 1:46 PM
Shame man I hope you work things out ..so sad and tiring to always ask for forgiveness..but pray about it she will as time goes on accept ..

Posted By : vkj - 7/2/2017 9:04 PM
struggling with sleep...what should i do ...can you guys help?

Posted By : vkj - 7/2/2017 9:07 PM
always wake up in the morning with racing thoughts and vague dreams since 2 days

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/2/2017 9:52 PM
Chamomile tea latte (combination of herb and warm milk is super relaxing)

...and here is a link for Binaural Beats (soundwave therapy)..which is helpful for many.

/youtu.be/1l13TSFrNgM

I hope you get the rest you seek tonight!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/3/2017 2:05 AM
thanks SC ...will try it

Posted By : Tim Tam - 7/3/2017 11:44 AM
vkarkala:

For sleep, to avoid a doctor's sleeping pill, I take a sleep suppliment tablet called Melatonin.

It's from the health food store or on the net.

If you're taking meds, some advise to check with your doctor or druggist to see if Melatonin is OK to take with the meds that you are taking.

I take one 1 mg. tablet of Melatonin at night. That wouldn't be enough it I wasn't taking doctor meds (Lithium and Mirtazapine for by bipolar).

If I was not on meds, I would have to take more than 1 mg. of Melatonin a night to get to sleep. They sell Melatonin in 5 mg pills, so 3 or 4 mg. of that must be OK.

I'm just speaking as an amateur, so you'll have to decide what you think.

You say, "always wake up in the morning with racing thoughts and vague dreams since 2 days"

Racing thoughts. Hello! I'm bipolar, and I having racing thoughts without my Lithium, for the mania, and I also take Mirtazapine for my depression.

Have you ever been diagnosed with bipolar? For some reason, you're on the anxiety forum. Have you ever been diagnosed with anxiety?

As a bipolar, especially if I'm not on Lithium, which tamps down the mania, I have problems with sex, also. So if you're bipolar, and you're not on Lithium (and an anti-depressant), you can count your lucky stars that you're doing as well as you are.

You might look on the net search engine under "bipolar," and reach the symptoms on some of the websites.

If you think you might have that, you could consider getting a psychiatrist and see what he or she thinks. You don't have to take any meds if you don't want to, just get their opinions. They've seen a lot of people with problems, so they'll be use to that.

Also, if you go, you could go in depressed, and they might diagnose you as "depressive," because they don't see you in your manic state, if you have one, so you get miss-diagnosed.

Tell them about your wilder side, and ask them about any chances you might have mania, also. You might print out a list of symptoms for mania, check the ones you think you might have, then show them the list. Make them aware of that side, also.

These are all my opinions as a bipolar.

It's good that you are reaching out for help.

Posted By : vkj - 7/3/2017 10:04 PM
thanks Tim tam..i did try melatonin yesterday and was able to sleep ..feeling much better actually
the day before i had tried petril maybe that tablet itself gave me some weird thoughts

Posted By : vkj - 7/3/2017 10:11 PM
7 signs of mania
=========================
feeling overly happy or “high” for long periods of time-->No
having a decreased need for sleep==> No
talking very fast, often with racing thoughts==>No
feeling extremely restless or impulsive==> sometimes
becoming easily distracted==> sometimes
having overconfidence in your abilities==> No
engaging in risky behaviour, such as having impulsive sex, gambling with life savings, or going on big spending sprees==> no impulsive sex , No gambling i am very careful about my money ...sex yes online i have done things impulsively

7 signs of depression
==================================
feeling sad or hopeless for long periods of time ==> on and off not long periods
withdrawing from friends and family or losing interest in activities that you once enjoyed==> sometimes
having a significant change in appetite==> rarely
feeling severe fatigue or lack of energy==> sometimes
speaking slowly==> never
having problems with memory, concentration, and decision-making==> sometimes

these are my honest answers let me know what you guys feel

Posted By : vkj - 7/4/2017 7:22 PM
any thoughts?...the day before i slept by taking melatonin ...i was much better ...yesterday i drank chamomile tea as suggested by u SC ...not sure if that's the effect by i slept yesterday night ...decent enuff

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/4/2017 10:47 PM
V.,

If you are concerned about the possibility of bi-polar, you will have to get a dx from a doctor...

...but I would not be surprised to hear that your insomnia is simply stressed related.

I am glad the two suggestions helped a bit...may that continue to bring you relief!

Keep up with your coping skills as well. smile

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/5/2017 11:31 AM
i still get straight poker faced replies whenever i ask her anything...not sure how to break this

Posted By : Tim Tam - 7/5/2017 1:33 PM
And you have a 15-year-old daughter, I just re-read in one of your posts.

My son was, 13, when it all spilled out. He was 3 1/2 when I first learned someone was going no. I went through that for 29 years. I stayed for the kid and for myself and for the house.

You said, "We have our own house and unfortunately we had booked another home last year ..at that time she didnt bring out any such statements or behaviour ...im so confused and anxious why suddenly so much hate and that too even 3 weeks after the outbursts."

So, you own a house, and have a teen-age daughter, and you "booked another home last year." Does that mean, you bought a second house?

That's was basically my situation. In my case, add, couldn't hold a job, so couldn't afford to move out. Couldn't afford to rent a $500 to $700 a month apartment, when I couldn't keep a job, and it was better to stay in a low mortgage home that would one day be paid for.

Plus, I wasn't going to let her kick me out of my own house, when she was the one who had messed up. And I paid for it. I was going to pay for it either way, she saw to that.

You said, her "outbursts." Yeah, I've been there.

In my case, she was the one who felt entitled, entitled to have probably 2,000 episodes of outside the marriage sex. And soon as she got caught, she was going to just kick me out or give me hard time in my own house. And, keep having the affairs to boot.

So, it looks like in your case, you might be the one who feels entitled to outside sex. And now with her pictures sent to someone, it seems to have hacked her off.

Have you looked at your part in this? What do you see?

Posted By : vkj - 7/5/2017 10:30 PM
Tim Tam... honestly i haven't been fair to her and i have acknowledged that and its been a few years now ...
what i am asking about is looking forward

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/6/2017 12:18 PM
V.,

Is there anything that could have triggered this recent cold front?

My husband and I had a trust issues years ago. We have since moved past it, but certain things can bring back negative memories...

Have you tried asking her if you have unknowingly brought up doubts or worries about your fidelity?

Or maybe it has nothing to do with you. Perhaps she saw/read or heard about something that shook things up regarding her fears.

Again, encouraging her to talk about it could help?

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/7/2017 9:35 PM
i tried asking her yesterday after reading your post....all hell broke loose once again ...it was about how my sexual fantasies have played on her mind ...and some picky incidents ...basically again an outburst ..nothing conclusive

Posted By : Tim Tam - 7/8/2017 1:28 PM
She may want to keep things going with you, especially with a 15-year-old child, but she doesn't know what the future holds based on what the past was.

Have you changed?

Maybe you can show her with actions and not so much with words.

Are you trying to be a man about town and a father and a husband, too?

What are your priorities there? Your priorities will come out in your actions.

Assume the worst, that you have totally messed up, and try to dig yourself up out of you own hole. Don't start off with she must explain herself before you are required to do anything.

As the song says of the man who committed a crime and has just been released from prison, and doesn't know if his wife will still want him, as his bus approaches her house: "I'll stay on the bus, forget about us, place the blame on me, if I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree."

How does the song end? "Now the whole dern bus is cheerin', and I can't believe I see, a hundred yellow ribbons round the old, oak tree. I'm comin' home." (youtube.com)

Posted By : Rrakkma - 7/9/2017 4:43 AM
I think you really should focus on treating your anxiety and try to move on now. Medication helps a lot especially with therapy.

To be honest I don't think her reaction is "sudden", it was always there hidden inside and probably she can't deal with it anymore so everything is surfacing. I suggest she gets some professional support as I believe she is going through anxiety and/or depression silently.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, naturally, we are human beings. But there will always be consequences. Accept that fact and let her go if she wants to separate ways. Otherwise it would be extremely selfish in my opinion.

Good luck, please keep us updated.
Inci
Age is just numbers (just stopped counting years) -.-

Health anxiety
Panic disorder (Recovered)
Ongoing psychotherapy - talk therapy - CBT.

Posted By : Sarabelle81 - 7/9/2017 11:32 AM
I used to punish my husband for the neglet I received when we first got married and had our first child. He didn't cheat just checked out. Ultimately it was ME who had to decide to let it go. It took 10 years for me to get over it but when I did everything got better. Look, you might have messed up- people mess up. She messes up. However, if your side of the fence is clean and she still punishes you... it might be best to get help or part ways. I never advocate giving up (my husband and I just had our 15th anniversay) but it doesn't sound like she's part of the solution.
I hope her heart softens and she can forgive. Also know that you might need to repent a bit more. It sucks but that's relationships. Is it worth fighting for? If yes... FIGHT
you got this

Posted By : vkj - 7/12/2017 10:43 AM
hi all... i know i have not replied in a while .. her father told me he has spoken to her.. and he told me ...just check for a couple of days and let me know how it goes..shes been in " slightly" better mood since last Saturday ...it still a tense atmosphere but much much better than it was last friday when all hell broke loose again

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/12/2017 11:53 AM
V.,

Oh you are separated? I didn't realize...

Well, hopefully the time apart will help her to sort out her thoughts/feelings, and you will have an answer and direction on how to move forward soon.

For now keep working at your anxiety management with the use of coping skills

Positive thoughts going out your way,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/14/2017 8:33 PM
no no SC...she hasn't moved she is staying pretty much with me
Not sure what made you feel that way

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/14/2017 9:18 PM
Oh sorry...i thought you meant she was staying at her parents house...I und6rstand now you were simply speaking with her father...

I am hoping her mood improvement continues!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/16/2017 12:31 AM
" For now keep working at your anxiety management with the use of coping skills" ....what are the coping skills SC?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/16/2017 12:56 AM
Here is the link to our Resources...filled with great material.

www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

A good place to start is the 'Stress Relieving Exercises' site, and the Meditation Videos. If practiced regularly, these will make a big difderence in how you feel. smile

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/24/2017 6:41 AM
things were quite fine...apart from she not being at home i mean much lesser than she used to be ...
this Saturday when she found out me talking to my friend on phone ..she called me in and asked i know ur talking to a lot of people and telling that whats the reason for my sudden outburst but let me tell u again that its not a sudden outburst i have been struggling from 2 years and i put up a face but now i'm unable to cope ..she said i dint wanna talk to my father he is the most selfish man i have ever seen he doesn't wanna spare time in any of my darkest moments. She said a few things again mostly repetitive i didn't go to argue . I asked her ..during last Sundays bbq( her whole family had come including my one friend) how were u fine...she said she was putting up a face ...i said stop doing that , i am not hiding behind my anxiety or depression, and stop thinking that im talking about you all the time...i couldn't sleep that night ..last 2 days have been bad .....
not sure what to do although next morning she seemed to be talking she was not at home from 4 and dint return upto midnight she told me shes going put with friends

Posted By : asdfasdfasdfasdf - 7/24/2017 8:15 AM
vkarkala said...
Recently when i asked my wife why she is unhappy ..she started blurting out all her feelings and started telling me about all her unhappiness and what she is going through that she doesn't trust me( there was an incident where i did something that has really affected her self esteem) and that my family has caused her so much harm that she doesn't wanna live with me anymore..

after that she consistently refers to that incident and doesn't talk much to me and she is very rude to me

i get bouts of anxiety to get everything alright but the silence and coldness from her doesnt let me be in peace i know there have been several mistakes from my end but i have been trying to set it right from the past 2 years but she just doesnt wanna put an effort

what to do?


I was living with a woman for 7 years and she left me flat (after I helped put her through college) because I had a breakdown which she never saw before. It only took her about two weeks to leave me.

The stigma of mental illness is alive and well and people will make excuses and run instead of trying to understand. i do not fault people for that, but it still sucks. These people need therapy, almost as much as we do, but you can't force someone to do that.

Take care of yourself and do not try to struggle to keep people in your life who do not want to try to understand. I have no more contact with my family for the same reason. I have found many people who do understand and decide to spend my caring on them.

Posted By : prew - 7/24/2017 9:03 AM
well said Kpod

Posted By : vkj - 7/24/2017 11:06 AM
SC waiting to hear from u

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/24/2017 1:10 PM
Hey V.,

(Sorry, did I miss a question? I re-read the last few posts...but sorry if I missed something...)

How are you doing with the coping skills? I hope they are helping.

It was good advice to encourage your wife to acknowledge her feelings...and not put up a false front....

...hopefully she is working on resolving her feelings and moving forward with you.

Keep up things on your end...and continue to be patient if you can.

Sending encouragement,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/24/2017 7:21 PM
thanks SC

not sure if you read this

"things were quite fine...apart from she not being at home i mean much lesser than she used to be ...
this Saturday when she found out me talking to my friend on phone ..she called me in and asked i know ur talking to a lot of people and telling that whats the reason for my sudden outburst but let me tell u again that its not a sudden outburst i have been struggling from 2 years and i put up a face but now i'm unable to cope ..she said i dint wanna talk to my father he is the most selfish man i have ever seen he doesn't wanna spare time in any of my darkest moments. She said a few things again mostly repetitive i didn't go to argue . I asked her ..during last Sundays bbq( her whole family had come including my one friend) how were u fine...she said she was putting up a face ...i said stop doing that , i am not hiding behind my anxiety or depression, and stop thinking that im talking about you all the time...i couldn't sleep that night ..last 2 days have been bad .....
not sure what to do although next morning she seemed to be talking she was not at home from 4 and dint return upto midnight she told me shes going put with friends"

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/24/2017 8:21 PM
Yeah, so if I am reading this correctly, she doesn't want you discussing the situation...

...this makes it difficult for you in terms of processing things verbally and getting feedback from friends/family.

However, for her sake, and the sake of the relationship...keeping things just between you...your therapist....

...and anonymously here would be a good step.

Hoping for some progress for you.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : prew - 7/25/2017 3:52 AM
SC
Wouldn't it be better if he to takes her with to his therapist so she can get a clear understanding what we go through with this devil anxiety..clearly one cant apologize 100 times and apology still cant be accepted...

i feel she actually will never forgive him and actually she wants to leave and doesn't want to make the first move.

VK
Please try and convince her to go with you to the next session.
I won't be scared for a disease that doesn't have a proper medication..Fear in my life is some thing in the past..i will never be running to the ER everytime my heart start poundind fast..If God is with me who can be against me.

Posted By : vkj - 7/30/2017 10:20 PM
Hello Prew and SC ...she did speak to my counsellor finally ..and she has agreed to go to the counsellor with me for the next session ..she was out this entire weekend visiting a temple which is very famous here..during the entire visit she never messaged me ..i did ask her if she has reached etc etc ..when she reached back i did ask her it would be better if she updated if she was fine for the least...she was talking about her visit and stay and stuff though...waiting to hear from u guys...

one question...i never had an affair or something..niether did i physically abuse her..what i have done i acknowledge is a big mistake..is it worth breaking a 17 yr old relationship?...gimme a fair opinion...my mind is really unable to sleep here

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/30/2017 11:05 PM
V.,

That is a good sign that she is going to continue to attend therapy with you! If she was not intending to move forward in the marriage...she probably wouldn't be taking this step.

The question you ask about the grounds for divorce is a subjective one. Different people have various levels of tolerance in what they will or won't accept in their marriage

Years ago I discovered my husband had a pornography addiction that he had hid from me from the beginning of our relationship. I almost left him, as this is something that is disgusting to me...not only on a personal level...but what I consider to be a huge exploitation/objectification of women in general. Basically he was indulging in what is close to my most hated behavior.

However, going through marriage, as well as individual couseling for his addiction helped us to heal and move forward...

...and I am now glad we did.

This of course is only my story. You will have to wait and see if yours has a similar positive resolution. I hope it does.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 7/31/2017 12:20 AM
its always so calming to hear from you SC ..i cant explain why...
did your husband if i may ask ...curb down on his addiction?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 7/31/2017 12:39 AM
😊Glad to help...

...yes, to my knowledge, and by all indications he has given up/recovered from the behavior/addiction.

We both had to work hard to pull our marriage back together...he with counseling and fighting a temptation he had dealt with since he was a teen...

...and me, to forgive and learn to trust him again...

...but it has worked, we celebrated our 22nd anniversary yesterday.

I too had periods of struggling with the past issues again even after the fact. Something might trigger me, that brought up all the old feelings again...

...but with continued time and commitment to healing, we made it.😊

With encouragement,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/1/2017 7:12 AM
hello SC...
have a bad news ,..this morning while talking to here things went back to ground zero. She again told bluntly that no matter how many people i talk to she will remain firm on her ground that she wants to leave ....i am feeling really really scared and anxious today. My sleep has again gone for a toss since few days ..i am really beginning to give up. although i really care for her and i really like her i don't have the stomach to go through this each day

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/1/2017 10:49 AM
V.,

I am sorry to hear this...

...I can't tell you how this will turn out...whether with a resolution through more counseling and time...

...or whether this may be the place where you part ways.

However, I can tell you that though we can't control other's actions...we do have a choice in our own.

I therefore encourage you continue to do whataever you need to in order to be your best and healthiest YOU.

You will move out of this difficult period one way or another...hang in there.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/1/2017 7:51 PM
hello team ...there?...i have one day to go before we met thr counsellor together..any tips

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/1/2017 11:34 PM
...just keep reassuring her that you are willing to do what it takes to restore her trust in you...

...but also keep the focus on moving forward, because staying in the past is dysfunctional and won't help your progress.

Best wishes with the appointment...let us know how it goes!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/2/2017 7:58 PM
i am not staying in teh past SC...u mean i should tell her to focus on moving forward?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/2/2017 9:35 PM
Oh yes, it was her I was referring to...sorry if I didn't make that clear!

A gentle reminder from the therapist that moving forward will help not only the relationship, but both of you as individuals may help her see past the present pain/anger she is stuck in.

Was your appointment today...or not until tommorrow?

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Post Edited (Scaredy Cat) : 8/2/2017 9:39:43 PM (GMT-6)


Posted By : vkj - 8/3/2017 1:57 AM
its today during my time....

Posted By : prew - 8/3/2017 1:48 PM
HI Vk

hope all goes/went well

You are doing the right thing..

hang in there !!!

xxx
I won't be scared for a disease that doesn't have a proper medication..Fear in my life is some thing in the past..i will never be running to the ER everytime my heart start poundind fast..If God is with me who can be against me.

Posted By : vkj - 8/3/2017 9:47 PM
Thank yew prew!!

the counselling session got over. She narrated her feelings. she said although she tried in the 2 years she could never get over the feeling of betrayal and trust . She said every time she got physical with me in the ast 2 years she felt like hell. She made a statement which i found was ridiculous " even of he had gone and had slept with someone it would still have been forgivable ..why pull me into this" . She said she is paranoid ..feels that if someone in the public stares at her for a little longer ....what would she be thinking...she said that she has tried enuff and has given up completely and she mentioned that the last 2 months at least she has been at peace than she ever has ( the same last 2 months i had been in hell). she did mention that there were many other things that were stressing her out like her relationship with my sister and me getting irritated with things..the irritation levels bother her. She broke down while narrating and so did i. However i felt neither the counsellor nor my wife understands what anxiety is and what it can do to a person . He told that he would like to have 2 sessions with me in isolation and then probably he will meet her ..and in between he said he would want to meet my daughter as well

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/3/2017 11:43 PM
V.,

That must have been a difficult session to say the least.

I am sorry.

It sounds like you need to be prepared for the fact that this may not be resolved...

...and just keep working on what will keep your anxiety managed to the best of your ability.

We are here for you.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/4/2017 1:02 AM
im not sure what will happen

Posted By : prew - 8/4/2017 2:19 PM
VK

SC is correct , but lets see how far therapy goes .
but remember you cant keep on worrying too much about others, just make sure all this doesnt deeply affect your daughter.
If you both not happy it will destroy her.
Love yourself also, we all make mistakes. but mistakes are always corrected.
Take care !!!!and enjoy your weekend
I won't be scared for a disease that doesn't have a proper medication..Fear in my life is some thing in the past..i will never be running to the ER everytime my heart start poundind fast..If God is with me who can be against me.

Posted By : vkj - 8/5/2017 11:26 AM
no one at home .... ver y new feeling for me .. im scared i guess.. lonely......cried a lot... friend helped me a lot...

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/5/2017 9:32 PM
V.,


I am sorry that this is a difficult time for you. Though it is hard in this moment...and there is uncertainty ahead...you can be confident that you will get through this, one way or another.

Whether or not it turns out this turns out the way you had hoped...you will be okay, and come out of this experience stronger than before.

We are here in support, and encouragement.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/5/2017 10:34 PM
hi SC can u help me change my username here

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/6/2017 12:08 AM
Okay, follow these steps and it should be easy.

*Click on your current screen name, this will take you to your profile page.

*Then click on 'My Profile'. (upper left blue tool bar)

*Finally click on 'Edit Profile'...

...and you should be able to change it without a problem.

...and if you could let us know if possible when you post with your new name...it would be helpful to us that know you. smile

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/6/2017 10:04 PM
thanks ..new profile name is vkj

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/6/2017 10:30 PM
Oh good...glad you were able to make the change...

...and you didn't erase your thread. A lot of people do for various reasons...so that's why I asked you to let us know what your new name would be.

Thanks!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/9/2017 10:17 PM
tried talking to her again to please forgive me and at least try talking to make an attempt...she said for what?...to sleep with you sorry!
tried hard to keep level headed and keep the conversation she kept ranting about the same thing ...that she does want to make an effort ...and that i have completely ruined her life ...etc

in the end here's the conversation
=================================

[15:28, 8/9/2017] Me: why are u staying at home with so much anger and hate may i ask?
[15:29, 8/9/2017] her: Coz of my daughte
[15:29, 8/9/2017] Me wonderful
[15:33, 8/9/2017] Her: Look I think u should realise that things are bad
[15:33, 8/9/2017] Me: And not behave like u r being wronged
[15:34, 8/9/2017] Me: I am not saying I'm being wronged
[15:34, 8/9/2017] Me: But you should realize that ur not doing the right thing
[15:34, 8/9/2017] Me: Anger and hatred is not the solution
[15:34, 8/9/2017] Me: And you are not in the right frame of mind
[15:34, 8/9/2017] Me: I'll leave it here

My anxiety has shot up like crazy....from monday i have been feeling groggy everytime i wake yp
yesterday i took a tablet and slept...feeling little better

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/9/2017 10:56 PM
Vkj,

I am sorry.:/

I think the best course at this point is to keep working on your anxiety management...

...and to give your wife space for the time being.

If she is staying for the sake of the children...

...she may yet come to a place of forgiveness and healing.

I did the same thing...and ended up finding love and trust for my husband again.smile

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/9/2017 11:00 PM
yes it could take years???

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/9/2017 11:20 PM
I can't say how long it will take...but it is a process.

Trust is not quickly restored...it has to be built back up once it's been lost.

Depending on the individuals and circumstance...it varies.

Peace, progress and patience,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/9/2017 11:24 PM
/do u think im managing my anxiety reasonable?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/9/2017 11:33 PM
It depends mostly on how you feel.

If you are having panic attacks, physical symptoms or dealing with worrisome/intrusive thoughts...

...then upping the time spent on your coping skills would be a good step.

With relationship trouble, a certain amount of expected anxiety is normal. If however, it is affecting your quality of life, or making it difficult to do the the things you want and need to do...then it is time work harder/differently on your regimen.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/15/2017 9:42 PM
hi SC thanks for the reply ..see i went for a vacation to Thailand although i didn't want to as i had booked it long back when things were fine (i didn't have the heart to cancel it as it would mean no refund of tickets cost and my brother in law ( wife's brother was also coming and he was kinda looking forward to it ) . While we did go places and have a few drinks and have a good time my mind would constantly think about what has become to my life ..where are those beautiful vacations which i used to have with wife and daughter

As a couple of days went by during the vacation i realised that if this was my life then what would it be?
i would have to cope with it somehow...i realised that my problem was constantly thinking about the same thing over and over . Was i doing justice to my job 60% yes and 40% no . I had to put in that extra effort because i was spending time overthinking this issue at work too. I have to focus more time on keeping my mind occupied ..Set aside "worry" time each day. Then whenever a negative thought intrudes, tell yourself to wait until the set time. You may feel better by then...
these were some of the reading i could relate to while on vacation
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/deal-better-hard-times
i need to find a way to focus more and think less of this issue
is it practical ...i dunno i need ur help here sc and thoughts

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/15/2017 10:47 PM
Constructive and scheduled 'worry time' is a worthwhile practice. Afterall, we do need to spend some time on troubleshooting our challenges. So I say yes to that tool!

I think the site you've been reading from is good. Take the most helpful techniques you find there...and seek others to get a broad array of self help coping skills!

Keep working on your own recovery and happiness...and then in any outcome, you know that you will be able to stand strong and be well.

I am glad that you took your trip. Perhaps it could be the beginning of a healing step?

Keep up the great work.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/15/2017 11:36 PM
I am glad that you took your trip. Perhaps it could be the beginning of a healing step?
=====> not sure whatthat meant i went alone with her brother

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/16/2017 9:24 AM
Sorry, I just assumed that you, your wife, daughter and brother in law had gone together.

...even so, maybe the commitment that you continue to show to her and her family will move her heart in the right direction...

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/29/2017 10:55 AM
its been 4 months now and although she talks a bit there is no significant improvement ....i am kind of giving up ....sexual frustration, anxiety , uncertainty all is building up...i am not sure what to do ..i cant blame myself anymore..i am really praying for peace

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/29/2017 11:22 AM
Vkj,

Hi, I am sorry things haven't improved thus far.

You may come to the point where you need to tell her that you can't go on indefinitely without hope for a change.

If you set a time that you're comfortable with as a "Things change or we make a move to separate." line in the sand...one of two things will likely happen.

She may start come to the realization that she does want to work this out...

...or, you'll decide to make the split, and you can start to move on.

Either way you are moving in a direction, and not held in this limbo-state any longer.

However, this is a highly personal decision...and I am only throwing options out there...not recommending that you make the ultimatum.

With encouragement during this tough time,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/29/2017 11:34 AM
i agree with you..things being in this limbo state is not helping at allbut sometimes i feel its peaceful for my daughter having her around...separation is gonna bring its own financial and emotional sorrows and never know where it will lead to...i dunno how to explain ..culture here is very different...

she doesn't spend much time at home anymore and when i tell her to work on it she just gets angry rather than understanding what i am trying to say

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/29/2017 12:16 PM
I totally understand what you are saying in regards to your daughter...

...my thoughts are with you in this.

May you find a peaceful resolution.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/30/2017 10:37 AM
i am feeling very anxious and depressed today ..after the psychiatrist said the same thing what u said
im gonna have a tough time sleeping does melatonin affect teh body?

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/30/2017 11:06 AM
Melatonin works very well for many people. Taken before bedtime, it helps support the circadian rhythm in the body, allowing an easier time of falling asleep.

I always recommend trying this natural supplement first, before considering a sleeping pill.

Don't forget great relaxation coping skills such as meditation and progressive muscle relaxation before sleeping too!

With support,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 8/30/2017 10:42 PM
ok ..i will work on it for sure!

Posted By : vkj - 8/31/2017 2:09 AM
also i need a help from you would u be able to tell me what all steps your husband went through to reform himself ...the details would help also how long it took for u to realise that he was really improving and u could trust him again...what were the signs that really put u in thought about giving him a chance how many years into marriage were u guys at that point

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 8/31/2017 9:44 AM
I'd prefer to answer these specific questions in email. Since your address is not in your profile...email me (mine is) and I can respond to you.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : prew - 8/31/2017 1:53 PM
Shame man that's sad but you will get through this
Please pray harder about this, also think about you..I feel you done more than enough..u need happiness too..

Posted By : vkj - 9/13/2017 10:49 AM
last week there was a huge outburst ...i couldn't tolerate her rudeness... i told her u tell me clearly what u wanna do..she said i wanna separate after my daughters 10th class is done. i said you dont have to wait till then u can leave right now its only gonna make things worse...her dad was called in and we had a discussion on how we should proceed now ..i cant be in this state forever...i told him that she can leave the house..lot of things were discussed and i dunno what transpired but she was talking nicely until yesterday when we met teh counsellor for our next session

She explained him all that we were through the last one month...he told her what exactly do u wanna do?
she said the same thing ....he was in talk and told her that moving away would only make things worse as it would make thing more diff for all of us...he also asked if we could get my daughter for the next session or so..he told her that do maintain the good atmosphere that u have been maintaining and slowly it would be good ..he also mentioned that we were looking more relaxed than we were during our last session...everything seemed positive he told her to go out more often as a family this would all help the atmosphere

but during the drive back all hell broke loose...she was driving rash and she was like why do we have to involve our daughter in this ...its always about how u want things ..she was like " what is this counselor telling anyways??...to just shut up and lead my life with you ...no one understands my side ..she hasn't been talking after that ...feeling so frustrated ...i dunno why i deserve this treatment she is being rude again ...she insults me

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 9/13/2017 12:38 PM
Vkj,

Sadly, it sounds like she is not willing to move forward. It seems she was mad that the therapist wasn't 'taking her side'...

...bit that is not how it works. The therapist is on the side of resolution and moving past the conflict.

I am sorry to hear things are not improving. sad

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 9/14/2017 6:47 AM
what should i do ... im down with high fever n body pain.. i have to learn to live with her bring in the house like a furniture ...its not helping anyone

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 9/14/2017 9:35 AM
Oh no...I am sorry to hear that you are sick. I wish you a quick recovery!

She mentioned waiting until your daughter's 10th class concludes...when will this be?

If is is not much longer, then perhaps that wolud be a good idea, as to not disrupt her studies midterm...

...however, if this is months from now, then you have to decide for yourself if you can go in at the state the relationship is in now.

Wishing you health and wisdom in what to do.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 9/15/2017 1:03 AM
its in march ( the 10th class final exam)

Posted By : vkj - 9/15/2017 1:07 AM
i think i will just have to live on with this state where she doesnt talk nor does she decide

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 9/15/2017 9:39 AM
Got it, okay...

...if you decide mutually to wait until Spring then all you can do is try to be civil, (this includes her participation hopefully!!) and keep reminding yourself that you have your daughter's best interest as the priority...

...and keep working on your own therapy/self help, in order to keep your anxiety managed.

Wishing you the best with the situation as it stands. Keep us posted, and we'll do our best to keep you encouraged.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 9/18/2017 10:21 PM
yesterday was her birthday I got cake for her
And I got the merci chocolate
 The same chocolate which I got her first time from Singapore
When we were still.engaged and not yet married
She acknowledged it
She told my daughter this was the first gift from your father to me
She also cut cake and fed me
In the morning also I wished her happy birthday and told her "God bless you"
 When she told about the chocolate to my daughter I was in tears
If I don't feel for her why do tears roll down automaticcally

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 9/19/2017 9:00 AM
Of course you still have feelings...

...and this sounds like a good move in a positive direction.

I will pray it is a step towards better interactions, and perhaps reconciliation...

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 10/3/2017 8:19 AM
after the last counselling session which i mentioned ...we met this Saturday.
it was a mixed session with both of us pouring out and blaming each other ....accepting faults. the counselor said atleast u'll are talking. he told me that clearly i have come out of things but she hasn't

she was and has been co operating quite a bit in terms of execution of house work and maintaining peace
she was talking as well we were sitting and watching a movie together ...we did go out with friends

she even was curious bout a certain injury i had and the fact that i was a little sad that she and my daughter were going out for a couple of days ...after that it has been very flat

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 10/3/2017 10:27 AM
So a mix of good...and neutral again.

I woukd still say this is progress, right?

Keep working on your end if things. If you want the relationship that is your prime directive...and all you can control anyway.

I hope things continue in the right direction!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Posted By : vkj - 10/11/2017 12:31 AM
thanks SC ..even i am hoping for the best..touch wood atmosphere is at least far better now

Posted By : vkj - 10/18/2017 9:49 PM
hello SC how have u been

Posted By : Scaredy Cat - 10/18/2017 10:26 PM
Hi!

Doing well, thanks. Keeping busy and out of trouble, lol.

How are things with you? Any changes one way or the other? How is your daughter?

Wishing all good things for your family.

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

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