When I wrote this post it was waaaay late at night, feeling very sorry for myself, and after I took my ambien- so I don't even remember writing most of it. I changed my signature to list all of my meds like some of the other signatures I've seen. If anyone sees something jump out funny, please let me know.
This morning my husband came home from work (overnights) and told me that he would like me to look for a part-time job to bring in the extra income. Just 4-5 hours a few days a week doing anything I think I can handle. I don't know what I could handle. The last time I held a job I was an undiagnosed, untreated bipolar. I used the manic to do wonderful things, and was able to use it to carry over my depressions so they weren't so noticeable. I don't have that anymore. I don't have a manic to cover over the "bad days" of the RA.
My pastor came over today to see if I was OK. I was pretty pathetic on Sunday. I had pain in my elbow that shot down my arm and into my hand. It ceased up my wrist, my thumb and my smaller fingers, curling them under. I hurt so bad that I just held my hand to my chest and used my left hand all morning. It was like knocking my "funny bone"- but I hadn't. Over the course of the service it "hit" my other side, but not as bad. My knees, ankles and toes started to ache. A friend offered to come over and watch the kids while I took a nap (it was that obvious) and I slept on and off for the rest of the day and night. Wednesday night I was too fatigued, too cold, too sore to collect the kids and go anywhere. She caught me just as I took more motrin- so I think I scared her a little.
With all that is going on- on one hand I hope I get offered help. On the other hand, I hate being the "needy friend". I know there will be times that I need the help even more than I do now. I don't want my friends to get burnt out before I really need them.
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) RA treatment- Prednisone, 8mg(and decreasing...)daily(main side effects: increased manic eppisodes, constipation, brain fog, bone density degeneration, compromised immune system) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours regularly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)