I am so upset!

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2470
   Posted 8/19/2010 7:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Last night I starting getting some level 7 pain. it started when I was trying to go to sleep. I had put in a full 9 hr. day at work and then went to the grocery store after.  Not only did I have to do my full week's shop for the house but I was asked to buy all the food for a company BBQ also. I did not get home until 9 PM.  I wear heels to work but change into flip flops in the store.
So today this pain continues and I wear flip flops to work. My boss comments. I say I'm sorry I can't help it my legs are killing me! Well he says- wise up and stop wearing high heels. I said high heels do not cause my pain- I have a disease! (Which he was well aware. At onset I was on temp disability for 3 months). A diesease he guffaws a disease here he says and points to his head. I feel so offended and again disgusted with this invisable disease. Plus the other woman in the office has been wearing flip flops every day for months. I said why don't you go complain to her about wearing them- she doesn't even have an excuse. Oh he says- the two of you girls...I said the two of us nothing- I'll get a doctor's note if you want me to. A doctor's note he guffaws. I have half a mind to leave early.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/19/2010 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Maybe you should leave early and go get that doctor's note. !! Sounds like you have a real winner for an employer...
Sorry to hear your sore and not having a good day on top of the already existant pain.  Really, just my opinion, but go get that note.  Maybe he will realize YOU have reasons to be sore and wearing flipflops and point out that you do wear heels when your arthritis permits....why doesnt the other lady?   Don't let him get to you....some people are ignorant and do not care to understand others.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 297
   Posted 8/19/2010 2:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm very confused, I replied to this hours ago :/

I'm really sorry to hear how ignorant he is, you could have him tried for discrimination in the work place if it was England, I don't know what rights you have under your own law...

You might want to get some leaflets on your condition(s), to help drive the point home, the more the better. There are ones written for people to know/are related to/work with people with such diseases, so they can better understand what it is. Ignorance belies ignorance, so do your best to educate him?

Take care, and try not to get too wound up by him :)
21, Male, England.
Dx: Psoriatic Arthritis, Chronic Back Pain, Dyspraxia
Rx: 25mg Methotrexate Sub-Cut Injection & 50mg Etanercept (Enbrel) Sub-Cut Injection

Oh, and plenty of Tramadol, Codeine, Diclofenac, Dihydrocodeine, Paracetamol, Diphenhydramide, and scotch

Contact: facebook.com/ jabutler // burnley219 (a) googlemail.com (Anti-spam)

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 8/19/2010 4:32 PM (GMT -7)   
*hugs* That's just wrong. And I agree with Jay: he really could get into trouble for that sort of behaviour, depending on what your laws are there.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2470
   Posted 8/19/2010 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all- I stuck out the day because that's the way I am. Still hurting more than usual and I broke out with a bunch of canker sores on the roof of my mouth, cheeks , tongue. Maybe a cold sore on my lip and my throat is feeling a little sore. :( This is not like me at all- I wonder if it's all stress related because besides work I have been having some home issues.

I keep a log of mistreatment at work in a protected file. My boss is very hot and cold. Sometimes he is very very nice to me. He is mean like this to people a lot! He has some kind of personality problem I think. I am in a management position in the office but he is really mean to our plant employees. Many have quit because of him. One day he is going to cross my line and then I will present my log.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 8/19/2010 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Go for it Weary, he sounds awful. And he's adding to your stress which we all know you don't need with RA.
I think its really hard for people to understand RA, I have a hard enough time understanding it at times! But its no excuse, you have it, your boss has to accomodate you with it. I'd get that note from your rheumy, it will add more weight to your arsenal against him.
Sorry my thoughts are all over the place. I feel so angry at your boss. I hate dealing with the ignorance around me. I get so bored with having to explain to people at times why I can't do things. You've touched a nerve for me. I try to conceal my pain a lot of the time because I can't be bothered dealing with people, explaining to them, but both my bosses know and are very supportive.
What an arrogant "a" he is, big hugs, golitho

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 884
   Posted 8/20/2010 1:15 PM (GMT -7)   

I've learned from past experience that the way they treat you at work really impacts your illness.  I can't see where the ADA or FMLA or any of the laws would protect you for wearing flip flops, but wearing flat shoes in general should qualify as a reasonable accomodation.  If your company has a written policy about management not wearing flip flops, maybe this is his way of pointing that out (albeight a really bad way).  Now, if he allows other people of the same level (managers) to wear them but not you, you should be able to file discrimination charges.  Can you wear some type of flat dress shoe and be as comfortable as you can in flip flops?  I understand not wanting to rock the boat by complaining while you still work there, but if you have enough to take him down or at least get him in big trouble, go ahead and report him.  You shouldn't have to put up with that and make yourself sicker over it and other employees shouldn't have to put up with his treatment either.  Don't let him get away with it or he will just keep it up.       

I've left two jobs due to the way I was being treated and the fact that it was making me sicker (which in turn made them treat me worse...vicious cycle).

Crohn's Disease with Arthritis, Non-Erosive Reflux Disease, Gastritis, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Endometriosis, Depression/Anxiety 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2470
   Posted 8/20/2010 4:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all for the support.

We don't have a written policy on shoes but I know that flip flops are generally not smiled upon in any work place - our industry is pretty casual however and there is another woman (my assistant) who wears them every day. When I am feeling well I dress to the nines and I love it. When I'm not feeling well I wear what is comfortable and swollen, hurting feet feel most comfortable in flip flops because there is nothing to them...
I am short and have worn high heels since I could fit in them. When I got RA and my feet hurt daily I bought flats thinking I would feel better. Guess what-I don't. i don't know if I have shortened a ligament from being up on my toes all these years or what. For the most part if my feet hurt they hurt in flats and in heels so i wear what I like. The days I wear flip flops are extra bad days. it's a day when my feet can't be enclosed and my legs hurt and are too tired to tolerate trying to walk around in shoes :(
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