Back without the headache but find myself unable or unwilling to dredge up too many memories about how my husband has acted in reference to my illness.
He is a chronic complainer about his own aches and pains and now I have hardened my heart towards his too. I am not a complainer and in the rare instance that I say something he says in a stern voice Go to bed! Like I'm a child or something! I try to tell myself that he doesn't know what to say and in his mind he figures I should go get some rest.
He is also one that will go out with a friend instead of staying nearby because I might need him. Like you luckily- I don't need him much at all.
I do remember when I was most ill- completely disabled his friends used to come over in the evening and they would stay out in the "man cave" drinking and saying how bad they felt for him that I was in this situation and he had to take care of me! Meanwhile I was the one suffering! Then he would come in and go to bed at like 8 PM. Those days I was in a level off the charts pain cycle for 12 hrs. beginning at about 9 pm. and I was awake all night. I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom unassisted so I stopped drinking anything at 6 pm. I had a cup of crushed ice for when my mouth got too dry. Sometimes I was just scared and lonely or needed my position re adjusted but I dared not call out because when I did he would be angry because there was really nothing he could do and he would tell me he needed his rest to take care of me during the day.
Oh my- I will shut my mouth now as I hate his guts at this minute.
Now that I have regained my health for the most part everything is smooth sailing. But I know I cannot count on him during rough waters.
Oh and I forgot to add I had a dad just like yours who took care of my mom like she was an egg for many years when she was having serious heart problems. Plus I was the apple of his eye. He would walk 100 miles with an 1000 lb. anvil on his head to get to me if I needed him for any reason.... How could I have picked a man so unlike him???? Dad has passed - it's been 10 years and I still miss him.
Post Edited (wearyRAsufferer) : 4/15/2011 11:57:31 AM (GMT-6)