I've been a member a while, but I don't post very often. I am 56 years old, and I have inflammatory arthritis. First diagnosed as RA, sero-negative, then I got a horrible rash (not a typical psoriasis, but no one knew what it was) so then they figured psoriatic arthritis. I haven't had any psoriasis for at least 10 years, so I'm really doubting the psoriasis. Nevertheless, I consider it RA, my rhemuatologist just doesn't know for sure. I also have ulcerative colitis. I seem to have a bad flare of this every 2-3 years. I'm on meds (mesalmine and azathioprine) for the UC and Cimzia for arthritis. I've tried many biologicals, but I still seem to have an awful lot of pain.
My life seems to be in turmoil. I lost my job, and was on unemployment for almost 2 years. I didn't mind, because working is really hard for me because of the pain and severe fatigue. I am now working as a substitute teacher, while trying to get a job as a teacher. This is a career change for me, but I have taken the classes to be eligible to teach in my state. Substitute teaching doesn't pay that well, but it is something. I don't have insurance now, but I've gotten patient assistance for my medicine, and get it all free because of my income.
Well, the school year is almost over, and I'm needing to get a job for the summer. I feel so tired and depressed and overwhelmed by everything, its hard to even look for a job. I rent an apartment, and I'm worried I won't even be able to pay my rent in a month. Top that off with my son and daughter-in-law moving away today. My daughter is also planning to move out of state. I can't seem to stop feeling sorry for myself, and try to get into seriously looking for a job. I just feel so tired all of the time.
I know no one can really help, but just telling someone helps a bit. I know you guys understand the fatigue. No one seems to understand this! My daughter-in-law is packing and I want to help. Her mother, who is at least 10 years older than me is helping her, and she is full of pep...I feel so old and used up. I cry at the drop of a hat and just feel like its too hard to keep trying.
Thanks for listening. I know I'm not the only one suffering with this type of problem, but at times it feels that way.
Post Edited (De La Rosa) : 5/7/2011 7:03:47 PM (GMT-6)