I too can relate to what you are going through. I had my mom here with me for years and then in hospice at home for 8 months after 13hospital stays in one year! I was numb and exhausted. I did reach out for help for both of us. All I can offer is to put one foot in front of the other. Take it slow and breathe. Caring for a loved one can actually cause autoimmune diseases to flare their ugly head(s) depending on dynamics and how taxing it is.
Another thought about RA...if it is found on one hand it will be on the other also. Same about any of the body's joints that have multiples. I have it in all including my spine. In mom's case she had it in hips and in the end years we learned she had Anklying spondylitis where the spine fuses together. Painful and a very limiting autoimmune. Also I've tracked autoimmune diseases in the extended family going back 3 generations and I did the genetics which was positive for a number of autoimmune diseases.
Recently I had my right hand improved. 4 new knuckles and all the tendons repaired so that my hand doesn't drift to the right any more. I'm thrilled with results! So much I can now do than before, like simple thing of holding a bar of soap!
Sleep is very important. I found that putting apple cider in warm bath before bed works wonders on joints and seems to hasten sleep mode. Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself. Eat right! Do slow exercise and work up to more, try walking.
My very best - D
My conditions- RA with felty syndrome in spleen that causes me to have neutropenia(neutrophils are a white blood cell that fights infection when there is enough of them), OSTEOARTHRITIS, SOJORNS, PSORIASIS, ASTHMA, SEVERE ALLERGIES, IRRITABLE BOWEL, DIABETES 2 from cortisteroid drugs for RA, also CATARACTS removed in both eyes from cortisteroid drugs, numerous back surgeries from my back disintegrating, HEPATITIS C from infected transfusion, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, PTSD related to childhood sexual abuse. Almost all of the others are autoimmune diseases which according to an article I read just today may be as a result of early traumas also.