I guess my problem is that after my grandma started taking treatments like chemo and a few of the early biologics, she started catching every cold, flu, infection that came around. She was in the hospital quite literally every other week from some infection. I think I'm just scared in general, I have spent so many years trying to ignore the fact that I have RA, it wasn't hard, my episodes were few and far between. Now it seems to be trying to eat me alive. I also have a medication phobia, which I'm trying to work through, so no I would not be the person who "dove" into chemo even if I had cancer. I also am in terrible pain, which makes my mental state even nuttier,and can't seem to get my doctor to prescribe even simple Celebrex for me, he tells me to keep taking the OTC ibuprofen/Tylenol and "ride out the pain" until the methotrexate kicks in. Also what is this about folic acid? Does it help RA? Anyway, thank you for the responses, they made me feel a little less alone.