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How do you deal with people who say "You don't look sick"

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Rheumatoid Arthritis
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Posted 8/19/2022 8:42 PM (GMT -8)
Hi,
Have any of you experienced friends, family and coworkers who act like because they can't really see your RA, you must be fine or exaggerating your symptoms?
I can do many things and often just try to ignore my pain and push through. However, it upsets me when I am unable to do certain things and when I try to explain my RA, I'm told "you look fine" or "you don't look sick" or "you can do" x, "so why can't you do" y?
If you've experienced this, how do you handle it? Feel free to give advice or vent. Thanks.
Posted 8/22/2022 4:29 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Susan, while I do not have RA, I have crohns disease, one of those diseases that most do not know about it, lol. There are many diseases out there that most of us look normal or even healthy & we get the "well you don't look sick". I think many people tend to think that unless a person is in a hospital somewhere they have nothing wrong with them.

One thing I don't do is let my health be the topic of discussion with friends. I discuss things only with close family members. In all honesty, they've seen so much over the years now, they can tell by looking at me if I'm not well, lol. We do have be thick skinned for sure.

I wish I could give you some wonderful ideas, but the main thing is take care of you, don't let others drag you down, you do not deserve that. Take care.
Posted 8/25/2022 5:04 AM (GMT -8)
Thank you so much for your response and encouragement. I think I need to learn who will be supportive and who will be judgmental or dismissive, then only share with those who support me. I hope your condition improves. Take care.
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