Camama, I'm sorry your husband is not treating you well right now. On top of everything else you have going on, I'm sure it's the last thing you need from him. Not that this is an excuse to treat a spouse poorly, but when my husband gets worried about me, he tends to take it out on me. He'll blow up about every little thing. IN any case, I'm sure things will work out for both of you--a cooling off period is in order. And the vacation may be just the thing you both need!
With respect to the referral, I can usually call my PCP and request a referral by phone. They've never insisted I come in first. Perhaps that's up to the individual doctor, though, and the reason for the referral. Insurance is such a game!
Current dx: Rheumatoid Arthritis
Suspected dx: Early Lupus/MCTD
Current Meds: Enbrel, Plaquenil, Aciphex, Ultracet, Zyrtec, Allavert-D, Zantac, Tylenol PM
Past Meds: Relafen, Vioxx, Mobic, Voltaren, Sulfasalazine, Entocort, Prednisone, Humira, Reglan