Bunnypucker, write down ALL your concerns to you pdoc. In fact...I want you to print out what you just wrote in this post. START the meeting with the pdoc by handing him this and asking him to read it right then. That should cut through at least 30-40 minutes of verbal explanation time. Once he reads that, he will KNOW what is going on, how you feel, how the meds are doing thus far, and where to adjust things. Then the rest of the appointment can be more focused on strategies to help you with the comments people are making that you don't know what to do with - which you shared - "because of the weather" or "everybody has bad days" - type of thing. I know it is hard, but think of it perhaps another way...if you had your choice of what you wanted them to say verses these things, what would it be? Then, in a calm moment, share THAT with them by saying something like, "I know you are only trying to cheer me up when you say, "everyone has bad days", and I WISH that did help me more, because you love and care about me...and I love you back. But unfortunately it doesn't make me feel better, and as much as I would like it to work that way, it sadly isn't. But you know what I think might really help me is if you could say..."????" sometimes."
The fact is, if you trust in peoples good will towards you, and can even for a moment put yourself in their shoes watching all you go through. Perhaps you can try to understand that they are at a loss for words of what to say, or how to help you. It is like, what do you say to a person at a funeral who has just lost a loved one? Most feel uncomfortable to be faced with seeing someone they care about in so much pain, so they say little quipy type statements and try to move away because it is hard to watch the sadness and pain. Well, in a way, this is no different. Your loved ones don't know how to make this better for you - they can't make it go away - as much as they so deeply wish they could. They just know you are sad and in a lot of continual pain given one issue or another, much of the time. So, if you view it like that, and can help them begin to learn more about your conditions, and guide them on things that do help you more than other things, this could improve. Because the fact is they must care a lot, or they wouldn't bother to continue saying anything. So you are very fortunate to have the people who care in your life.
As to how to help yourself, make a list of things that are good for you either physically, mentally or whatever, that do help you, even if you are NOT in the mood to do them. Then make a list of things that you are doing that don't support your wellness, even if you DO feel like doing them. Then, one by one, exchange a good/positive behavior with a negative/unsupportive one. An example, even though you don't "feel" like taking a shower, if you did, would it make you feel even a little more refreshed? If you are bored with going to the grocery store for yourself, perhaps there is an elderly neighbor on your street, or through your church, who could use the help in either getting to the store, or have them give you their grocery list with some cash, and it would benefit them for you to do their shopping for them as it is hard to walk around a store for an elderly person. This would get you out of the house, get you moving, help you focus on something/someone outside of your own issues for a few hours in a day, and make you feel good about yourself and the actions you have taken to help another. Self esteem will begin to improve too as a result because you will feel good about what you have done for another regardless of how you were feeling. Forgive me, I do not mean this as insensitivity at all, but sometimes (and this is regardless of being BP or not) when a person gets consumed by their own issues for too long, it becomes a vicious cycle that becomes self consuming. I think that sometimes they need to break that cycle by focusing on reaching out to another, even for an hour a day. It does help keep some perspective on life itself.
Good luck to you. LFW