I must agree with dutchie...The roughest time I seem to have is at those low points when I feel alone. Even though I have a great support group,DH,my brother, my mother, 2 sister in laws, and my best friend who also lives 2 doors down....there are those times you just feel alone in this. The guilt about everything I did really weighs down on me sometimes, and I can't help but think things like "how can anyone trust me?" "how can anyone really love me" "how can anyone really still be concerned with my well being with everything I had done" (the lying, overspending).
So just letting me know that he is behind me, and he still does have compassion for me means alot. Even when things seem to be going well..just saying something everyso often, to remind me that I can lean on him, means alot. Just that fact that he loves me that much, that he still feels that way despite everything....means alot to me. And like dutchie...the support from him means that much more to me.
I think you sound like you are very supportive and understanding. I think you are doing things wonderfully.
I hope your hubby gets to feeling better soon. Regarding your question, I need for my hubby to do all the things that you are doing for your hubby right now. So I would definately say you are on the right track.
I need for my husband to understand how I am feeling and that when I go through things it affects me much more differently than it does other people. It is not something that is cut and dry. That things take longer for me. Handeling stress affects me way more differently than it does other people, etc., etc.
I just need to hear from him and to understand that I am having a harder time at the moment for whatever the reason is and to believe and accept that from me. Then he will usually ask, "What do you need from me?" I would then tell him....I just need to be alone and quite right now, I need to not deal with making dinner tonight, it would help if you ran the errands today, or maybe it's, could you find some time to just sit and talk w/me or just be near me?
If things start getting too noisy around the house, he would say, "Hey guys, your mother isn't feeling well today, could you keep it down?" or if friends or family called to make plans to get together, my hubby would say, "Well, maybe another time, Sukay isn't feeling too well today.
I just need for him to acknowledge that regardless of how I got at this point, the point is...is that I am not feeling well or having a hard time and I need for him to understand that and trust that it is not as easy to get out of it as it is for others.
So basically, for me...it just an understanding thing, that I have bipolar, I am on meds, things are different for me and I need to deal with things in a different way than most do. And to trust me, that I know what I need to do for myself when certain issues come up. (I am at that place right now where I can "see" things for myself) and not have to be TOLD what I am expected to do. Does that make sense?
When I am down, sometimes my hubby gives excellent advise like, "Why don't we go for a little walk, the fresh air my help you." or "why don't you let me finish up things and go lay down for awhile"...but he know not to push me on what he thinks I should be doing...like....you need to do this or that. Suggestions are good...but not too many, if I tell you what I need, please accept that.
Hope this helps. I think you are doing fine.
Bipolar IIIt is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare
One thing that can help me sometimes is to be comforted with affection. Sometimes however, (you can relate...) being bipolar, irritability creeps in and I tend to push my bf away. I think during those times, it would help me greatly if he would sit down with me and compassionatley let me know that I could talk to him about everything. Now, he does this sometimes, but the key is, how he listens. It sounds to me like you listen to your husband really well. I need that from my bf. It seems as soon as I start talking "Bipolar" (and I do make it as simple as I can- "English language"), he has a disinterested look on his face as if I am babbling.