New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 1/14/2008 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been communicating with my wifes family about the way she is acting.  Her father has sent me a response to an email that she sent him.  She states that she does not love me, and that the only way she is going to be able to get me to leave the house is if she sells it.  In reality she can not afford the house that she told me she could afford by herself when we got back together.  She is about to have her car repossessed, and she is telling her family all these lies about how I pay for nothing and she pays for everything.  What should I do?
    If I leave the house she will not be able to pay for all the bills and I can't keep paying what I am paying and move out.  She said she was going to put the house on the market before Christmas but she still has not said anything to me about starting the process.  She just continues to lie to everyone about everything.  about our relationship, about her money problems.  She continues to tell everyone in is all my fault.  I heard her tell a friend that was going through some relationship problems that people don't change.  I asked if her people don't change then why has he changed so much.  I told me that was my fault.  That I make her act like she does.  She gives other people advice and she can't even handle her own life.
     Should I leave her to fend for herself (of course I would also have to leave my daughter with her and I don't want to do that)?  I am not giving her money to help out any more but she is going to have her car repoed and she just started looking at a used BMW to by before her car is taken.  Does that make much sense?  She tells me that she would rather have a repossession on her credit then to have a foreclosure but she is telling her family that she may have to sell the house just to gt me to leave.  My name is also on the house so it will hurt me as well if it is foreclosed on.
    She is seeing her doctor and taking her medicine.  However as I have said in previous post, she has got her doctor believing she is fine and she has gotten her meds reduced.  She won't let me talk to her doctor and according to what she has now told her family, she does not love me.  She also asked them not to communicate with me.  I believe that is because she doesn't want them to know the truth about what is going on.
    Things just seem to be getting worse.  I think she actually is beginning to believe the things she is telling people.  It is like she is leading a double life.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/14/2008 1:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh boy. I don't really know how to respond because I am a by nature gentle person but I sense you need some waking up, so here goes: You know what you need to do and you are now not facing the facts either. She says she does not love you. What more evidence do you need? It is time for you to take your OWN life into your OWN hands and let HER take care of HERSELF. You have done what you can do to be good herself. Provide for your daughter best you can, but as many have already counselled you via this board -- protect your assets, take care of your daughter, and see about getting out of this marriage which, from every outside eye, certainly seems to be over. Unless there is something you are not telling us... she is not in love with you anymore, and that isn't just bp. Sometimes that's just real. I'm so so so so sorry.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 1/14/2008 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   

I think you need to start concentration on your self and if I remember correctly, your daughter?

If she is saying she doesnt love you and her father is letting you know what she is saying, I think you should get your ducks in a row as far as protection, with family and assets and think about leaving her to help herself.  She is being very manipulative to the point of fooling her doctors.  I dont know if there is a way for you to make your own appointment with her pdaoc and let him know what is really going on.  But she seems to be doing everything to get you to "leave her alone" and I guess maybe you need to consider that.  I would hate to see you suffer anymore when she does not want your help.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 1/14/2008 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I know what i need to do, it is just hard to do it after 8 years of marriage.  It is going to be a long hard road and I am very scared.for her and for me.  I wish I knew how things came to this but she doesn't even give me anything specific that I did except being an jerk. 

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/14/2008 10:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Familyman, I only have a moment, but you know the reality of the situation. The fact is, you must speak to an attorney ASAP, find out your asset rights, custody rights (and take immediate action to protect both), and stop protecting her in any way. Call her doctor and TELL HIM THE TRUTH. If she doesn't like darn bad. Tell her family the truth, if they choose not to believe it...their problem when her life blows up. By then you won't be there to blame and her family will see that what YOU said was real, and what she said was manipulation once they start experiencing some of it themselves. Protect your credit, and MOST importantly....protect your daughter. NOTHING comes before that. IF it is 50/50 custody, then do all you can to do that amicably for the sake of your child. Be present in her life. IF, at any point you feel your child is in danger....ask the court to intervene and award TEMPORARY custody to you until your wife stabilizes. Make it clear to all that you want our child to have both parents, but they need to be healthy and balanced, and working together for her benefit to be the best CO-Parents they can be. NOTHING else matters Familyman...nothing. If she wants to sell the house...sell it! Preserve your credit too, OR, if there is no community asset there, have your name quick claimed off the deed. Then, it is sink or swim all on her, and you are free and clear of whatever disaster she creates. I know it is hard to do, I know you are hurting, and I know you don't feel any of this is fair. You are right, it is not fair, it hurts like a *****, and it will be the hardest thing in the world for you...for awhile, but you will get through it. Hang in there. NOT taking the RIGHT action, will ONLY make it harder as more time passes. It will NOT get easier with time. Go work on you, go be with your child, go get your own life back. Good luck...LFW
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 11, 2017 2:22 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,904,089 posts in 318,718 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 158119 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, mmindc.
411 Guest(s), 14 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
George_, john4803, 1005tanner, CopperGuy, polkadotdress, ddyss, Szabo246, Davidh86, sunnys80, Subdenis, Steve n Dallas, Tall Allen, JkorourkeRN for husband, iPoop