new to bipolar

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Shelby c
Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/19/2008 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I think I might have bipolar disorder. I have suffered from depression on and off nearly all my life. I've been on and off antidepressants and tranquilizers since I was 15 yrs old. I'm now 48 yrs old. I just did a questionnaire on it and it said I most definitely was.
I hardly ever see a doctor now, just get repeat prescriptions for amitriptyline, which I'm always trying to cut down or come off of, because I've always believed it was an illness that a could get better from. I feel even worse now because that means I'll never get better.
I was really nasty to my husband last night, telling him everything that was wrong in our marriage, and blaming him for everything. I think I really hurt his feelings. But this morning he was just acting normal as if nothing had happened, and I feel so guilty. Sorry for venting my feelings on your forum, but I don't have anybody to talk to. sad

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 1/19/2008 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Welcome Shelby:I am new here on Healing Well as well.I can relate to your feeling that everything was wrong in your marriage!At one point I was packed and ready to leave my husband(he was ruining my life)..he too acted like nothing had scared and confused.

I can only speak for myself when I say,I was so desperate when I went to see my Doc,he told me that I was stressed out and drinking too much coffee.I freaked out in the office then stormed out...Next day I returned and shared with him some of my thoughts.Long story short..There is no way I could have gotten through this on my own,I think I have found a med that suits me.

This is the perfect place to vent your feelings,here I am 2 days on this site and venting my own feelings.

Your not alone                                   

Sophie Jean

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/19/2008 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shelby,

Welcome to the board. No need to apologize -- this is a good place to vent.

It's time to make that doctor appointment and have a real conversation with your doctor about your moods. The questionnaires just don't cut it -- they're a starting point, nothing else. Take it in to your doc and tell him/her your concerns. And if I may make a further suggestion, don't take it to a gp, take it to a psychiatrist. GP's know only the basics about mental health, some moreso than others. If you really want to get the best opinion about what's happening with your moods, go to a psych.

Bipolar is a lifelong disorder, but it sounds like you were on and off chronically depressed anyway (33 years!), so perhaps the time has come to face the facts about whether or not your mood issues (whatever title they may have) are "getting better." That's similar to how bipolar works as well. Some times are better than others, but they're never gone.

I wish you luck and hope we can help with any questions or concerns you may have,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare

Shelby c
Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/20/2008 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Sophie and Serafena for your replies. I am feeling a bit better now. I have since apologise to my husband for going off on him. He was good as usual, and forgives me. He is well used to my moods. I think it might have been triggered by me missing some of my medication over Christmas and the new year, as I like to have a few drinks to socialise, which I'm not very good at due to social anxiety. I think I will get a new doctor as we have just moved house, only 5 miles away. I will ask if I can see a psychiatrist, but its usually a long wait in the UK. I can't go privet, because we are on benefits. I will try and take my medication as prescribed, and that will hopefully help.
Thanks again,
anxiety panic disorder, depression, asthma, fibromyalgia' GERD.

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 1/20/2008 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   

I too wanted to welcome you to the forum.

I am with Serafena, now is a good time to make an appointment with a Dr. You've waited a long time for this. Please keep up posted on how things are going with that, and best wishes.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar

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