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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 1/30/2008 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
HI all,
plz advise if staying and dealing with bp spouse make u depressed or bp?
how about we start support thread for partners of bp .i think i am tired of my man's erratic mood swings.
i need help badly?
thanks and pray for me .

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 494
   Posted 1/30/2008 1:11 PM (GMT -7)   
it is possible that a bp spouse can affect you and your emotions, like falling into a depression. but bp is genetic, it isnt something that you are in danger of catching, unless you are predisposed to it and it would develop anyway. but i can see how anxiety and depression could definitely creep in.
Crohn's Disease Diagnosed 12/24/03 and Bipolar

Im 26 years old, and am currently only taking Levisin, Clidinium and protonix for my CD. I'm off my remicade--nervous. I am on quite the cocktail for my BP however: Geodon, Lamictal, Celexa, Buspar, Wellbutrin and Klonopin.
Im also on lipitor for high cholesterol caused by a prior BP med. im on fentanyl patches for pain also, and i take some meds prn for my allergies, asthma, and migrianes.

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/30/2008 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Katy, I am married, like you, to a man with BP. It is difficult at times. Some times are REAL difficult! YES, it can effect us by wearing us out, dealing with the multiple moods, the unfair verbal attacks...etc. But, how WE deal with it makes our own mental health stay in balance, or not. We are responsible for our own wellbeing, just as our spouses are responsible for theirs. One way we take care of ourselves is by making it clear what we will and won't allow or tolerate from them. When they cross the line, it is time to remind them of the boundaries of behavior - and then walk away for a while and give them "thinking" time. If you don't, and you are attempting to "take it" to show you are being understanding and loving, then you are building your own misery. Trust me, standing up is HARD to do, and does not always feel good. But, it IS the best thing you can do for yourself.

Is your spouse balanced on his medication? Does he see his pdoc and therapist regularly? Are you a part of his wellness process and included with his doctors? Are you granted permission to speak with them whenever you need help about this, or feel they should hear your perspective on things? If you say NO to any of this, that is where I would start because you should be able to say YES to ALL of that. Being married to a BP means that you are a team, because it takes teamwork to maintain wellness for the BP, and it takes teamwork to be able to maintain a relationship. If HE is not acting as a teamate, then that is where you must start to gain control of the situation.

Are you in therapy for yourself? If you have not had a lot of therapy in the past, or do not have a good support group around you, I would definitely recommend it to you. We as spouses do need a place to be able to talk things out, let our frustration out, VENT....whatever, that is all our own to in order to keep perspective for ourselves. Perhaps that would also be a good place for you to start?

What I can share with you is that you are not alone. There are LOTS of us spouses out there. The life of a spouse is not an easy one, but it is doable. But it is also acceptable, with no judgment attached to decide it is not the life you want for yourself and to remove yourself from the situation. That does not have to have any reflection on your love for that person. You could LOVE this person with every breath you have, but you don't have to prove it by staying either - should you not really want to.

I wish you well and clearly with what your questions have been, and your responses, it is time for YOU to take as good of care of yourself, as you have been trying to take of him. You deserve it as much as he does. Don't forget that. LFW

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 2/4/2008 7:31 PM (GMT -7)   
omg,he;s driving me crazy and so edgy ,i feel like losing my mind.
i need help
Happiness is not the absence of problems; but the ability to deal with them." Jack Brown

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1441
   Posted 2/4/2008 11:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Katy,

Is your husband on any medications and seeing his doc regularly? It sounds like it is time to get in to see his doctor asap and let him know what is going on.

In the meantime just give him his space and don't provoke anything. If he starts to become violent you need to get yourself to a safe place.

LFW has given you some really good advise. Have you tried to implement any of her suggestions?


olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 2/11/2008 9:50 PM (GMT -7)   

No, I do not believe that a BP spouse can make you BP too. That doesn't mean it will not affect you, but certainly not enough to make you have BP. Bipolar cannot be given from one party to another, you either are or you are not.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves.
~Robert Rodriguez

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