Welcome to Healingwell. I hope we can offer you some support and perhaps a little window of clarity. I suspect you have the answer you're looking for but aren't ready to embrace it: mania drives people to self-destructive behavior, which is exactly what you're describing. You even are aware it's self destructive, yet you continue as though it's out of control, as though it's no big deal. That's mania, my friend, and you need to see your doc, pronto, because these things you are describing are a big deal. You acknowledge the sexual activity isn't fun, it's destructive, you need to stop. You're only harming yourself further by perpetuating it. When you see your doc next, make sure he or she knows these behaviors are going on so they can properly treat your moods.
Putting on my moderator hat, before this thread grows, let me remind everyone that discussions of self harm and sexuality walk a very fine line here on HealingWell. We are a family oriented, SUPPORT community. We have members in their early teens, and members easily triggered, so no discussion of sexual activities and no specific discussion of self harm. You did fine here, Lonenomad, I just wanted to remind the members in general.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare