you might not like what i'm about to say - but i am saying it with tough love for someone i care about: YOU!
all of us need a "safe place to fall," as DR. Phil calls it. We all need someone with whom we can reveal our deepest, darkest, and brightest secrets. ALL OF US need these things. I have been very blessed with my wife. she has put up with me and my probvlems and mental illness for over 30 yrs. Does she hold me and comfort me all the time? H*LL NO! most of the time she tells me to get off my lazy a** and DO something about what's bothering me. That, my dear friend, is love.
if she would treat me and my illness as a burdon, then i would tell her to get on with her life however she could and with whomever she could. Love is not 50 - 50. it's 150 - 150 and more. when she's down, i'm there for her, if only to tell her to go to bed and see me in the morning. it cuts both ways.
She is a caner survivor twice over and has very little stamina left. i suffer form debilitating chronic pain, COPD with bronchitus that shifts for chronic to active regularly (i was in the hospital for a day last week because of it), and bp. i will move heaven and earth for my wife if need be. i know she would do the same for me. these are not word games: these are honest emotions.
if i can't be honest with my wife, who can i be honest with? if she can't be honest with me, who can she be honest with? believe me when i say that, although sex is great, having an open, honest relationship is better and will last longer. i cannot imagiine it any other way.
i share my pride in my wife for all of her many accomplishments and cry with her when she is hurt. she does the same for me - i just don't have as many accomplishments
. this is the basis for a solid relationship. this is the basis for a relationship that can "suffer the slings and arrows of outragious fortune" and hold each other with tenderness.
You have accomplished a great deal and are about to accomplish a great deal more. You have an illness that will never "just go away." you need someone - or someones as in a support group (and not just necessarily vitural) that can and will be there for you .
this is my experience. i hope it helps you. and the best of luck on the next phase of your (continuing) education.
That light at the end of he tunnel? It's an on-coming train.