SML, Like I shared, my H & S are on the milder side of things by comparison to what you are describing. But yes, there are times he can see he is over reacting to things, or too grouchy, or too moody. We don't tend to experience the level of highs like you are describing...the "superman" stuff. However, I know from others on the board that when some do, who REALLY want to contain and be aware of their condition...they work to look for "check in" markers with themselves. And, noticing differences between themselves and others who they have selected as "good barometer" people to compare off of. Or, they trust the feedback from a loved one who will share they seem to high, or low. Does that make sense?
As to the meds, my H would react the same if I questioned him nightly like that. Perhaps you can find a better way to do this as a partnership so it is less like treating him like a mother/child thing. This condition can make a man feel very emasculated...even when we wives have the BEST of intentions. My H uses week long medication containers. He fills them once a week (morning and night meds), and then he can track if he forgets...things like that. And the dose is set and he can't mess it up from one day to the next. SO...in your case, you can fill the containers weekly if he tends to mess the doses up (I do our S's), or let him do it if he is responsible that way. See if he would feel comfortable moving to a system like that (present it as a suggestion because you really understand his feelings about
your nightly questioning making him "feel" like a child, even though it is not your intention to make him feel that way). If he says yes, then suggest to him to keep the supply of meds to refill from in a separate place. Then it is easy enough for you to check if he took or not without having to ask him. You'd just check his box for that day/time type of thing. Let's say if he's gone to bed already, instead of asking because his behavior seems off - or you're just making sure he hasn't forgotten, you can say something like..."Oh, I was just in the kitchen/bathroom..(wherever), and noticed you haven't taken your meds yet tonight...honey would you like me to bring you them so you don't need to get up again?" That is supportive, not questioning him, or pointing out he's made a mistake and forgotten. Does that make sense?
As to the upset tummy as a possible result of the new meds, try and stay empathetic about
it. Tell him you are sorry he is not feeling well...(who knows it could be the start of the flu?), and ask if there is anything that sounds good to eat that you could make him to help him feel better. AGAIN...this is about
being supportive, and as understanding as you can - verses the policeman or mommy making sure he sticks with it. Always help him, like you did, to refer back to the pdoc about
meds questioning. This helps you stay in the partner/wife role vs. fall into the mommy/child relationship. Does that all make sense?
I have had the "been there done that" on vacations too. All you can do is BREATHE...intervene if he goes too far with the kids to the negative (or setting the wrong example for them) and in a quite calm moment when it is just the two of you, calmly and lovingly point out he seems so upset and seems to be going a bit too far, that you know he wants to have a great time with the family too, that you understand know and he doesn't mean to be doing that...then ask..."how can you help?" If it doesn't improve, offer to head home and attempt a trip another time when he seems more in the frame of mind for it. You know he doesn't want to have a miserable time together any more then the rest of you do and that this trip is just not working...for whatever reason...it doesn't matter. (These kind of statements tend to help calm my H down...but my timing is important, and I need to stay sensitive to the fact that he isn't intentionally behaving this way.)
BTW, I just want to also point out that these are things that I have found have worked in my situation. Only you can determine if they may be worth trying for you. If they also work for you...GREAT...if not, keep working to find techniques that will work in your individual situation. Hope some of that helps. LFW
Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 4/16/2008 7:29:43 PM (GMT-6)