I agree that this is unhealthy behavior and I whole-heartedly understand that you love her and want the best for her and your family. However, now it sounds like things are escalating and getting dangerous.
I'm going to share my story with you regarding my son who is now almost 16 (I'll try to keep this short). When he was 10 he became depressed and suicidal and I had to hospitalize him in a psychiatric ward for 12 days. This was the most heart-wrenching thing I have ever done as a parent, we never ever have to expect to do that with our children. After returning home on some new meds, he ran away several times. He was even taken to the police department in handcuffs once because he became physical with both myself and his sister (my husband wasn't home at the time). I wasn't able to physically restrain him, that's why I called the police. The police did tell me that if I felt endangered by him, I could restrain him even though he was a minor - it was just that I'm not physically able to do it, he's too strong. This also resulted in a hospitalization. Within the course of 6 months he was hospitalized a total of 4 times, the last time because he set a fire in my house.
As much as I loved him, I knew that I had to take drastic measures because I didn't know what he would do next. I then found out that he had been beating on his sister as well as everything else. I pressed charges against him for the fire and the beatings. When we went to court, he was immediately taken out of our home and put in placement. During the placement, a battery of tests were done, different meds were tried, he had to participate in therapy (which he wouldn't do when he was living at home). The final diagnosis was Major Depression with Psychotic Features (he hears voices when not on meds); Bipolar still hasn't been completely ruled out and it wouldn't surprise me if he ends up with that diagnosis some day.
He was in placement for 2 years, was able to come home on weekends, holidays, and vacations as long as he didn't have any major problems during the week at the treatment center. He did have problems here and there, but was always able to come home on those passes.
Although these decisions I had to make were extremely difficult for me and I second-guessed myself every step of the way, it was the best thing I could have done for him. He is on the right combination of meds and is doing well at home (has been home for nearly 2 years now), his grades are good and is looking for a summer job.
So remember, you may have to make some tough decisions about your daughter, but you have to think of the safety of your daughter as well as the rest of your family. I hope this story has helped a little bit (even though this turned out to be longer than I had intended). I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can! http://www.healingwell.com/donate
I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.
Always seek professional advice from your doctor.
Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea
Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium
“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger