my name is quietpain

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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 4/28/2008 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   
MY self is joann an now I will ler get to know me her. As a young child I was very smart, quiet, I played with my little brother or the boy across the steet who waas hoeschooled. Like I mentioned that I was smart I was also very inerterested in medical - i was about 6 or 7. I had a perfect family home. No money worries. I did go to a catholic school and professed that I am a rationalist. They r\tied another school, but I had smoking gettin caught things going. Public school for me. Most of the girls were short and looked like lillte girls. I was 5'6 ,I have alwaus had small breast but they were done gowing, basically I looked old enough to buy liquor. The boys strated off nice. The the girls set of a rumor machine. And soon the boys would would rub "themselve"on me on forcibly french me School was a nightmare. I srarted taking college courses in middle school so I could just escape.Mental I saw things , I thought the miliary war following me.

I started meds at thirteen, I was off them 2x both times I was pregnant. Alot of drus are generally safe (some) , threre are other that every once ina while can these horrid results. I had med test that show developing veins on minute by minute basis. When see the result and read the autopsy and the end cause fetal expreation was using a potientially (horrid)book that shows you everything. So I took NO chances. I had always be moderately depressed and my father wanted to put on zoloft. That's did nothing ,but my illness on good footing unti I was 17. Then I couldn't comunicate, or focus, I saw sucidal, I had relearn howread beacause I love to read (it is still hard.) I have sever encopathologies, basically a combination bi-polar atypical depression w/ complex ptsd.

I cannot take most meds or I become spychotic. I need tto always take them. I Still hear things and have paranoid belifes abouts being followed. I can live with that. When psychosis doe breakthough. It like I am in a nowhere world. SInce I am usualy suicdal or try to runaway. Alot of the time he sits on me until the meds works . WHen this happens I can take 20mg(more or les- up to 80) zyprexz zydis and I am ok in about 20 minutes. Calm, but not sure about what happened. Now I am tired and a have lots problems with the complex ptsd, sleep, and anxiety. I am also having more full pychotic moments (the are small and only need 19mg zyprea to help).

I take: parnate120, lexpro, haldol, vyvanse70/39, klonopin,T3 , trazadone, clonodine, bendryl, and zyprexa 10-20 as needed (use is still moderatly high.)

That is the bad new: I have two children a boy,16 and a girl ,8. I am truly in, love with my husband.


{I edited out a good chunk of your narrative because it didn't comply with Rule #1: No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted. --serafena}

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 4/28/2008 8:19:52 PM (GMT-6)

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